


These Eyes are Made to Adore You

by yssa_frank



Category: offgun
Genre: Amnesia, Boys In Love, Light Angst, Lovers to Friends, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27135331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yssa_frank/pseuds/yssa_frank
Summary: Gun Atthaphan has always treasured all of his memories with his friends, not until he finally wakes up from being in a coma for two months only to find out that he have a friend named Off Jumpol.
Relationships: Off Jumpol Adulkittiporn/Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please bear with my writing skills, I'm just new to this, and to the fandom also. This book was only made because I had a lot of free time, and because of my love for the main characters. I hope you like it! 
> 
> Some scenes from this book are inspired by the characters' existing series, photos, on and offcam moments. 
> 
> The songs that'll be mentioned as you go further have meanings about the person's point of view, try to connect the dots and let us see what you can get. 
> 
> Thank you, everyone! Spread love and act at all times with kindness.

“Gun? Gun? Can you see me?” I heard someone's voice while feeling small pats on my shoulder. I slowly opened my eyes and adjusted it from the white lights on the ceiling. It was after a few seconds before I could even get a clearer vision.. but my brows automatically furrowed at the sight. 

“Gun!” The tall guy in front of me exclaimed as if I have slept for long years. I can see how happy he was now that I'm awake but something seemed off.. I do not know this guy. 

“W-Who are you?” I asked in a low tone. My throat felt dry and itchy like I haven't had water for ages. Geez..

The tall guy's smile slowly faded as he took a step back. He looked at me in disbelief with his mouth slightly parted. A few more seconds of looking at me strangely before I heard him chuckling a little then giving me a small nudge on the shoulder like I just said something ridiculous. 

“Wow, your jokes have improved, Gun. You almost got me there,” he followed it with a slightly awkward chuckle. 

“Uhm, excuse me but I really do not know you.” I must’ve sounded too harsh which made him even more shocked than he was a little while ago. He was immediately speechless and stunned, I can see. 

“Where are my parents? What are you doing here? Mom! Dad! Mom!” I called out, testing my luck if anyone would enter the room.. and some really did. 

A doctor and a nurse entered the room without a knock. They seemed to be in a rush, moving to go to me as fast as they could. I noticed my family and Jingjing, one of my best friends, followed after them. The doctor examined me for a moment, asking me questions that I only answered honestly while the nurse is just beside him, jotting down notes. 

“He’s okay now, he can be discharged tomorrow if he continues to go well.” The doctor, whom I think is already in his 40s, said to my parents. A few more words exchanged towards them before the medical pair excused themselves. I thought they already left so I immediately asked my mom about the stranger whom I first saw when I woke up. 

“Mom, who is this guy?” I indirectly pointed at the tall guy standing just beside my hospital bed with a little distance I can agree with. He may be near but not too much to hold me or what. All of them, except the guy and Nong Gui, my four-year old little brother who have no idea of his surroundings, looked taken aback. I can’t see any emotion from the guy. 

“Gun, this is Off. Don’t you remember him?” My mom went closer to hold my hand and gesture the man. I immediately shook my head before glancing at him. 

“I don’t know someone with a name Off, Mom. It’s my first time seeing him and it is actually weird waking up in a hospital with a stranger beside me.” All of their mouths parted, even the guy’s, as if they were not expecting that answer from me. Why is everybody so shocked about every little thing? Seriously, what is going on?

“Dear, he is your friend from the university. You’re classmates, honey.” My mom even brushed my hair softly using her slender fingers as if it would make me remember who the tall man inside of this room is.

“I told you, I do not know him. I have not seen him until now. What is he doing here, Mom? How could you let a stranger come in here?” I asked in an irritated voice. I was getting pissed at my family, and even to Jingjing, for leaving me all behind with a complete stranger. 

“Excuse me,” the doctor, who hasn’t stepped out of the room, went back to me together with his nurse. We all turned to him as he stood beside my mom.

“Gun, can you tell me your birth name?” The doctor asked me, my brows furrowed a little because of the sudden question. 

“Atthaphan Phunsawat, Doc.” I answered in an instant, thinking that he needs it for my hospital records. 

“When is your birthday?” What the hell? Am I in Kindergarten or something? Ugh, I decided to just answer his question, still thinking that maybe they needed it for my records or whatever. 

“4th of October, 1997.” I simply answered.

“Does your head hurt, Gun?” He asked again. I was starting to get impatient about his questions but I can’t do anything about it. I don’t want to be rude by refusing to answer such simple questions, that’ll be absurd.

“Not really, Doc.” I almost rolled my eyes, not getting his point about the questioning. 

“Can you tell me who these people are, excluding me and the nurse?” He used his hand to gesture the people we are with. I looked at each of them before answering. 

“The woman beside you is my mother, Doc. That man is my father, my siblings are Nong Grace and Nong Gui. And, Jingjing over there was my best friend since high school.” I glanced at the tall guy who was still silent and motionless in his position. 

“I’m sorry but I don’t really know someone with a name Off, let alone a friend who has a name like that.” I told the doctor. His brows furrowed even more than how it was a while ago. He looked at me like he was scanning my anatomy with just his professional eyes before turning to my parents. 

“Mr. & Mrs. Phunsawat, can I talk to you for a minute, please?” He used his hand to point at the door leading to the hallways of the hospital. All four of them excused themselves first before going out. Now, I was left with my siblings, my best friend, and the stranger who’s named Off, inside of the room. 

I assume it is a private one since it was too spacious and I have no one to share it with. There’s a long couch just beside the sliding windows, a flat screen television, split-type air-condition, a cabinet, and a small table two people can dine with. 

“Why don’t we sit first while waiting for them?” Jingjing broke the reigning silence between all of us. Nong Grace carried Nong Gui so she could sit him on her lap. I saw Jingjing slightly patting the tall guy like it was a call to make him get back to his long lost senses. 

Were they a thing? Is he her boyfriend? I don’t think so, Jingjing’s got a type and I can say that he is far from that. He sat with them and I was a little surprised when Nong Gui reached out his arms, asking the man to carry him. He then sat on the tall guy’s lap. I saw the way Nong Gui giggled because of him and I find it even much weirder. How come this stranger is close to my sibling? 

“W-” I was about to ask when the door opened, letting the doctor and my parents in, and the nurse right after them. They all stood up around my hospital bed except the guy. He remained on his seat, having Gui on his lap but his full attention to us and our conversation. 

“Gun, I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here for a little more time. We need to examine you first so that we can all fully understand what happened. For now, I suggest you eat first before resting. You have to gain your lost energy back,” he nodded. That was the only time I felt my stomach vibrating. Damn, I felt like a hungry beast. I started thinking about a lot of food and what to eat once the doctor gets out. 

I couldn’t understand his words so I just let him talk until he’s done. My parents are there to listen for me, anyway. The moment he stepped out of the room, I turned to look at my mother.

“Mom, is there anything to eat from here? I’m starving,” I held onto my stomach for a moment before looking at my mother with puppy eyes. She gave me a small smile before walking to the table to get me something to eat, which is a hot porridge. I ate half of it on my own, and left the rest to my parents. 

They opened the television so everyone won’t be damn bored inside the room. Nong Gui had fallen asleep on the tall man’s lap but they do not know how to get the kid from him without waking him up. And the guy also refused to take Nong Gui away from him so they just let the two on their own. 

“Gun, honey, why don’t you go to sleep now? It’s getting pretty much late,” my mom suddenly said. She probably noticed that my eyes were slowly closing down while watching. 

“Okay,” I gave her a small smile before lying down the bed in a comfortable position. I ended up sleeping for almost three hours. I felt the need to go to the bathroom so I stood up, seeing 1:48 AM from the wall clock. I noticed my best friend on the couch, sleeping soundlessly. The moment I stepped inside the bathroom, I saw my own reflection from the half-length mirror. 

Is it just me or I have gotten thinner? 

“You’re just probably imagining,” I told myself. I then went out after washing my hands. To my surprise, the front door opened at the same time as the bathroom’s. The person who opened it also got motionless the moment he saw me.. Off saw me. 

“H-Hey,” he broke the silence. He entered the room and went straight to the table, looking stiff and awkward. I went back to the bed and watched him do something, too conscious about having a stranger inside my hospital room at past midnight hours. 

“What’re you doing here?” I saw him entering the room with a plastic on both hands so I got curious as to why he was still here in the middle of the night. 

“I bought something to eat. Do you want to have it now?” He asked in a low voice, not looking at me one bit. 

“I’m still going back to sleep but thank you.” I gave him a small smile even though he won’t see it. He just glanced at me to give a single nod before going back to his thing again. I decided to go to sleep when I got bored watching him without even being noticed. 

I woke up around seven in the morning. I saw Jingjing still sleeping on the couch, now with a blanket reaching her shoulders. I looked around to search for the man who was just here this early morning, but nobody’s around except my best friend. 

“Gun, dear, you’re up early.” I turned to look at my mom who had just entered the room with a duffel bag. 

“Good morning, Mom.” I smiled when she kissed the top of my head. She returned my greeting with a soft voice before putting the bag inside the cabinet. She went to the table but I saw her stopped when she saw something. She picked whatever it was up before looking at it a little closer. 

“What’s that, Mom?” I asked in curiosity. She didn’t look at me, her eyes remained on the piece of paper she was holding. 

“Off went home,” 

* * *

“If your head hurts, take the medicines I prescribed you. Most likely, you will feel some pain if some of your memories will be triggered. Bring him back to me immediately when something worse happens.” Doctor Wanaka reminded me for the nth time already. 

It has been almost four days ever since I woke up from two months of being in a coma, I just found out about it the other day. After examining me, and some monitoring, they found out that I have amnesia. It will only be temporary, unless my memories will not be triggered. 

“Let’s go now, Gun.” Jingjing called me out when I went inside the bathroom after the Doctor had left. Upon stepping out, I was surprised to see my father holding a bouquet of flowers. My mother was holding five pastel-colored balloons, Nong Grace and Nong Gui with a basket of fruits, and my best friend holding a box of cake. 

“Wow, you didn’t have to do this guys.” I simply said, still amazed how they could come up with such a surprise even though I was just in the same room as them. My dad gave me the bouquet of flowers before giving me a small pat on the shoulder. I gave each of them small hugs before we decided to leave the hospital. Jingjing will be joining our family dinner tonight, and she’ll be staying the night at my place. Our other friends can’t make it but they asked her to send some regards for me. 

“Wow, these are a lot!” I looked at them in amazement when we got home only to be welcomed by a dining table full of my mom’s dishes. My best friend put the cake in the middle of the table. My siblings gave the basket of fruits to our house helpers. We finally ate after mom went back from the kitchen, she said she took an important call. 

“Gun, do you really want to go back to school tomorrow? Aren’t you rushing too much? Why can’t you just rest for a few more days?” My father asked in the middle of the supper. 

I have decided to go back to the university immediately once I get discharged from the hospital. These past few days have been so boring to me that even the television couldn’t entertain me anymore. The smell of hospital makes me even more sick than I am which is why I was the happiest the moment I stepped out of it. I want to go back to the university so bad. And I also think that if I rest longer, I will only be loaded with more school work. 

“Yes, dad. I will be okay, I am okay now.” I gave them a reassuring smile. He was about to say something more but my mom stopped him, saying that they have already talked about this thing. Hence, nothing can still change my mind now. I miss the school and my friends already. 

After supper, Jingjing and I went to my room just so we could catch up on things. I put the bouquet of flowers on the side table before pulling her to my bed. We didn’t have the time to talk much at the hospital since I have spent more hours on sleeping, and being monitored by the medical team. 

I was glad I did not forget any of my memories with her, with our friends, or with my family. We talked about a lot of things and I can still remember a lot of them. It was as if I didn’t have amnesia at all. 

“How come you remember everything and everyone except Off?” She asked in confusion. I was also as confused as she is because everyone kept on saying that the tall guy named Off was a friend of mine.. a close one, to be exact. 

As far as I know, my closest friends are only Jingjing, New, Saint, Fluke, and Earth. We’ve all been best of friends since high school, went to different college departments but we never missed a thing or two about each other. 

“I really don’t know him, Jing. Don’t push it,” I almost rolled my eyes. Maybe the guy just manipulated all of them, saying that he is my friend so he could do something for his hidden agenda or what. I don’t know, and I kinda find him suspicious. 

He was nowhere to be seen again ever since my mother told me that he had gotten home. He didn’t pay a visit anymore, the last time I saw him was that midnight when I went out from the bathroom. Not that I want him there, but it just feels so weird waking up in a hospital with a complete stranger beside you. And then, waking up the next day with him gone.. with no traces left as if he wasn’t there the moment I woke up. 

“I don’t understand. You were so happy while telling me things about him..” her words after the first sentence came out as a whisper but I still managed to hear her. My brows immediately furrowed at her statement.

“I? Was telling you things? About him? Are you serious?” I asked in amusement. I remember every detail about my friendship with Jingjing but not about me telling her things about that Off guy. 

Do I really know that Off? If so, then how come he was the only one I forgot? 

“Yes, and you actually.. like him.” She said in a low voice. I scoffed at her in disbelief before chuckling a little. If I am drinking or maybe eating, I would most probably choke to death.

What the hell is this woman saying? 

“Jingjing.. I? Like that man? Are you even sane?” I continued laughing but she was not even smiling at what I just said. 

Are you serious?!

“I couldn’t completely remember everything you told me in detail but it consists of you liking him.” She scratched her nape while giving me an awkward smile. 

“Then, among the two of us, I think you are the one with amnesia.” I chuckled once more.. but she did not. Jingjing remained her sharp eyes on me, giving me a death glare.

“Wait.. so I? Have told you? That I liked that tall man? Seriously?” I asked for confirmation including some hand gestures to pinpoint the words. When she nodded, my lips automatically parted. 

I don’t understand.. 

When did I like that guy? Did I really like him? 

I have so many questions on my mind right now but all of those are unanswered.. 

Who was he to me? Why is he the only one that I forgot? 

I tried to push myself to remember things about him but I couldn’t find any. And on the worse part, my head started aching. 

“Gun? Gun? Hey, Gun, are you okay? What’s wrong?” I heard Jingjing calling out my name. I even felt her slightly patting my shoulders but I couldn’t look at her. Not when I was trying to retrieve some memories about that man. 

_“I like you, Off.”_

A voice in my head said. 

I gasped for air when I felt my chest tightening and this time, Jingjing finally succeeded in getting my attention back to her. She was saying things too fast that I couldn’t understand anything from it. When I looked down, I saw her hands holding a glass of water and the painkiller Doc Hero gave me. I took it before looking at Jingjing with a confused look. 

“I-I liked him?” 

* * *

“Gun! We missed you!” Earth came running to me to give me a tight hug. My friends and I decided to spend time together after class when I came back to the university. 

We went to different college departments so meeting each other like this happens mostly only once a week. It was so hard to find some time for them but I know they can understand since all of us are busy studying anyway. 

My parents decided to bring me to my dorm two days after I got discharged. They didn’t allow me to go to school in an instant because of the incident that happened the other night when I was alone with Jingjing in my room. It was not easy to convince them but yesterday, they helped me bring my things back to my own condo. 

“How are you?” Fluke asked when Earth pulled out from the hug. They gave me small cheek kisses before all of us went to our usual table. This coffee shop has been my favorite ever since they opened last two years. I brought them here with me on the opening day since I was invited by the owner herself. Now we ordered first before talking about a lot of things to catch up on each other.

“Hey, you’ve been gone for almost two months yet the prof will still give you an easy time as if you were not supposed to catch up on a lot of school work!” Saint acted like he was sulking, crossing his arms in front of his chest, making all of us laugh at his statement. He pouted his pinkish lips before rolling his eyes at me.

“I smell favoritism!” Fluke joined him with the arms thingy. I saw the way his hair fluffed a little when he sulked, it looked softer than before. 

“Well, that’s what you get when you are the Straight-A student of every professor’s class. You don’t have to strive just so you can catch up, it’s a small thing for Gun Atthaphan.” Earth commented. I noticed that his skin had gotten brighter.. he looked pretty.

“And excuse me? He was in a coma for almost two months. They should at least be considerate. Not just for Gun but for their students who will be in the same situation, or what.” Jingjing rolled her eyes which were sparkling because of her grey contact lenses. We all shared a laugh at how serious Jingjing sounded, except one person. I looked at New, who was sitting next to me, when I noticed him spacing out while looking at the glass window. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I nudged him lightly so I got his attention. I saw his sad eyes like he had cried for the whole night nonstop, it almost broke my heart. 

“What happened?” I asked in a low voice, not wanting to get our other friends’ attention because they seemed so happy and I didn’t want to put an end to it. 

“Just a problem with my boyfriend,” his face and shoulders fell down. I’ve never seen him this sad. I will kill his boyfriend if he ever breaks my best friend’s heart. Not just for New's, but all of them. 

“Are you perhaps referring to Tay?” He nodded as an answer without even looking at me. Since when were they a thing? I only thought about Tay because New kept on mentioning about him before. I didn’t know they were already together. “What happened?” I gently stroked his back for comfort. 

“He was again opening up to the idea of meeting the parents.. you know how much I can’t do that. Not right now.. not when I absolutely know how they will treat him. My father will definitely give him a hard time- wait.. how come you remember Tay but not Off?” He looked at me when he asked the last words. That got our friends’ attention so they all turned to look at me, waiting for my response. I noticed Jingjing eyeing Newwiee something I couldn’t understand. 

“I-” was cut off from speaking when the waitress arrived, placing our cups on top of the table. I looked at the her when she was about to leave so I could give thanks but when our eyes meet, my lips automatically formed into a genuine smile.

“P’Mild,” I stood up so I could give her a small hug. It was my first time seeing her after I got discharged from the hospital. She had gotten thinner and her hair was perfectly straightened with pink highlights. Wow, she looked so stunning. 

“Nong Gun, I’ve missed you!” She hugged me back before pulling out to look at me from head to toe. She is three years older than me, I met her in the university when I was a freshman and it was so easy to get along with her. She happened to be my direct senior, having the same student number as 0073. Now, she owns this coffee shop that’s just around the university so I often go here to pay a visit and of course, relax. 

“How’s your shop going? How are you?” I asked after she greeted my friends, too. Of course they know her. Almost everybody in the campus knows the beautiful lady in the coffee shop, they call her that. Too bad she’s already taken by her four-years boyfriend, P’Mek. 

“It’s been good, I’ve been good. How about you guys?” She asked us in general. We all responded to her, saying we are fine and okay. 

“How’s it going with you and that tall man, huh?” P’Mild smirked at me to which my brows furrowed again. Was she perhaps referring to that Off again? Most likely, almost everyone has been asking me about him. 

I couldn’t say anything. I do not have any answer to that. As far as I know, he is a stranger to me. 

“You haven’t brought him here for months time now.” She looked around like she was expecting for the man to show up. My brows furrowed even more when I realized her statement.

“I-I brought someone.. here?” My lips slightly parted when I asked her in disbelief. When she nodded, it made me even more confused. 

“Yes, you were here more often than before and you would always bring Off with you.” P’Mild told me. 

Off. Off again?! When will these people stop asking me about him?!

“I-I don’t remember bringing someone-” I was cut off from speaking when I heard a voice in my head. 

_“Where are you taking me?”_

Whoa.. what was that? Who was that? 

I tried so hard to remember who the person was but I couldn’t picture it out. I couldn’t find anything from this brain of mine. And again.. my head started aching. I pulled the sides of my hair down when I got pissed as to why I can’t remember anything more than those words, not even the owner of the voice. Every passing second, I can feel my head aching even more.

“Gun! Gun! Oh my goodness!” I can hear Jingjing’s panicking voice but I couldn’t look at her. I felt hands all over my body, some on my arms, on my shoulders, and one is stroking my back gently. 

“Gun! Take these,” Jingjing made me look at her before giving me the painkiller tablet and a bottle of water. She guided me so I could sit back on my chair before helping me take the tablet. 

My breathing calmed down after a couple of seconds, probably because of the water. I looked at each of them and realized that they have worried eyes looking straight to me. They seemed shocked about what just happened. 

“I-I brought Off here?” 


	2. 1

“I swear I’m okay now, Jingjing. You don’t have to babysit me and besides, you have your own classes.” I told her with all assurance. Yesterday, the incident at P’Mild’s coffee shop panicked the shit out of them, and her the most. 

P’Mild immediately apologized when I looked at her. She wasn’t aware that I got into an accident, been in a coma for two months, and woke up with amnesia. She doesn’t know a thing or two about me being hospitalized but it was fine with me. I didn’t want to bother her and make her worry just like how she was yesterday. She has a business to handle. 

“What if your head hurt again? What’ll happen to you? Your situation right now is scaring the shit out of me. You need to be taken care of and I am going to do that for you.” She said in a stern voice. She picked me up from my condo, walked me to my classroom and now she wants to stay just to look after me. 

How can she be in the same class as mine if she’s taking up Social Sciences while I’m majoring in Journalism? I don’t think that makes sense.

“Jing, I have my tablets with me. I know you’re worried and that is actually sweet of you but I can take care of myself. You have some lectures to take and I do not want to be a distraction for your studies.” I told her, getting guilty because she already ditched some of her classes when I was in a coma just to go to the hospital. I don’t want to be burdensome. 

“But-” she was about to say more when I gave her a reassuring smile together with a gentle pat on her shoulder which made her stop. 

“I’ll be okay, don’t worry.” She sighed in defeat before slowly nodding, obviously forced but was left with no choice. She started on reminding me about my medicine, things to say when people started talking about Off, and a lot of things. The ringing bell was the only one which made her stop talking. 

“Shit, I’m going to be late. I have to go now, Gun. Call me when you need me, okay?” She slapped my cheek lightly before giving it a soft kiss. I just nodded to her as an answer before gesturing her to go now. Her department is across mine so it will take her a few minutes before she could arrive at her classroom. 

Photography Class went well. It ended after two hours and I am now on my way to the Editing Class. Just when I turned right, I accidentally bumped into someone. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking- Gun..” the voice sounded familiar. I had to look up because the man was too tall, I was only at the same level as his neck. My arms slowly made its way up to point the person’s face when I realized who it was. 

“You’re that guy,” it was Off, the one from the hospital. He looked taken aback when I pointed at him. I remembered that it’s a rude thing to do so I immediately put my hand down. 

“Yes, I’m.. sorry about that, too.” An awkward smile escaped from his lips. I haven’t seen him ever since he left the hospital the next day when I woke up. So it was true when my mom said that we were from the same college department.. but we're not classmates. 

We were suddenly filled with deafening silence and I can see how awkward he is feeling right now. I was about to ask him something when a group of boys came running to where we are. 

“Off! What a badass attitude you really have! You just- whoa, G-Gun, hey!” Gunsmile spread his arms out the moment he saw me. I thought he was going to hug me or what but he stopped midway before he could even go near. 

He is one of Tay’s friends, I’ve met him before. 

I was about to greet him back when I heard footsteps running towards us and to my surprise, I saw Tay and his crazy friends. Running with him was Arm, Zee, Ohm, Toy, Mike, White, and Kao. They held at Gunsmile’s shoulder to catch their breaths before giving Off a slight smack at the back of his head. 

Whoa, I think it shook his brain. 

“Why were you in such a rush, huh?” Tay asked while still trying to normalize his breathing. I saw the way their eyes and mouths opened wider when they saw me in front of Off. Wait..

Are they all friends with.. Off?! 

“Oh, Gun, I didn’t notice you there. I’m-” Tay was about to go near when I glared at him.. which made him stop on his height. 

“Tay, what did you do to my best friend?” I asked with a slightly pissed tone of voice. I remembered New being sad yesterday, and eyes a little puffed, saying that he just got a problem with his boyfriend. 

“Wait.. you know me?” He looked confused. His hand, which I assume was about to offer a handshake to me, was caught in the air. When I nodded, his hands automatically went to cover his mouth as he gasped for a little air. 

How exaggerated! This man, really!

“Of course I know you, Tay. Newwiie told me you’re his boyfriend now. Since when was that?” I tilted my head a little to the side as I raised a brow. I thought he was going to answer my question but he looked at his friends instead, confused as hell. 

“Do you know all of us here?” Zee pointed at the boys behind him. I nodded as an answer, getting an idea on my mind about their reactions. “What’s my name?” He pointed to himself and I couldn’t help but chuckle because he looked stupid at that. 

“Your name’s Zee. This is Tay, Arm, Gunsmile, Kao, Toy, Ohm, White, Mike, and Off.” I pointed at each of them to which they simply nodded, lowkey telling me I was right. 

“I thought you said Gun called you a stranger?” Mike asked Off so all eyes are on him now. I waited for his words but he just shrugged at them, making them roll their eyes to him. 

“I did,” now their eyes turned to look at me, dumbfounded. “I only know his name because my family and friends keep on mentioning him. Unlike him, I know you guys personally.” I gave them a small smile but none of them returned it. Instead, they kept their eyes to Off, waiting for his response.. yet it never came. I noticed that Toy was about to say something but the bell suddenly rang. 

“I’m running late for class. I have to go now, see you around.” I waved to them before walking fast to the computer room. I was lucky the professor was still not here so I’m not considered late. 

“Off is included in Tay’s crazy group of friends?” 

* * *

“Hey, what’s up?” I said after answering the call from Fluke. Editing Class finished just now and I have a lunch break before going to another class. 

“Where are you?” He asked on the line. Inside the campus, Fluke is like.. on the other side of the world since our buildings are the two boundaries of the university. He’s taking Veterinary Medicine so walking from here to there, and vice versa, will take at least 30 minutes. 

“I’m on my way to the cafeteria, why?” I asked in a low voice. I met some acquaintances on the hallways so I waved back to them when they greeted me. 

“Jingjing told me to check up on you. Ugh, she basically told the group to check up on you so expect a lot of calls from now on.” I can almost hear him rolling his eyes. Goodness! 

Sometimes I don’t really get Jingjing.. I told her not to get worried about me too much because I can take care of myself but here she is, bothering our friends to check up on me. 

Ugh, girls and their way of thinking.

“I’m okay, Fluke. I’ll call you guys if I need any help.” I told him as assurance. He told me a few more words of reminders before ending the call, his prof had just arrived so he needed to go already.

The cafeteria of our department only had a few seats left since almost everyone was already having their lunch break. I knew some faces but I had no courage to ask if I could join their table. I was about to buy lunch outside when someone called out my name. 

“Atthaphan!” I turned to look at the direction where the voice came from only to be surprised by who it was. 

“Ramida,” I teased her back. Jane was the first one to introduce herself to me during the freshmen’s ice-breakers activity. We called each other’s first names ever since then because the professor told us to introduce ourselves with our birth name. 

“How have you been? I heard about what happened, I’m sorry I didn’t pay you a visit at the hospital. I got so busy with the rehearsals.” She gave me a sad smile but I shook my head before smiling back to her, a genuine one. She was a member of the theatre club, the main actress, to be exact. She’s also known as the Beauty of the department since a lot of boys are dying just to date her.. but, she never dated even one. 

“It’s alright, I also didn’t want to bother you guys. How’s your rehearsals? I’ll make sure to watch the play by the end of the school year. I know you’ll do well.” She giggled at my statement, and slapped my arm lightly when she felt shy. 

Ugh, girls and their light harassment. 

“Rehearsals’ been good, and thank you so much, Gun. By the way, are you going to have your lunch?” I nodded to her question. She smiled wider before wrapping her arms around mine then dragging me to roam around the shops so we could find something to order. 

In the end, I ordered a Chicken with Holy Basil meal and a soda for drink. Jane ordered a slice of cake and iced coffee for herself. She told me she was still full from her breakfast so she didn’t want to eat rice yet. 

Luckily, some people have already finished their lunch so we found a table to sit on. We talked about a lot of things and she seemed so fresh while smiling. In the middle of our conversation, someone butt in. 

“Hi, can I sit here with you guys? There’s no more seats available around.” Jane and I looked up to see who the man in front of us was. It was Ssing, I knew him since he was once a classmate of mine back in sophomore years. 

“Yeah, sure,” Jane answered, showing him the seat in front of us two. I was about to smile at Ssing because he thanked us when I heard a voice from my head. 

_“Hi, can I sit here? There's no more seats available around,”_

I’m pretty sure it was my voice.. I clearly heard it. I knew it was mine but.. I can’t remember who I was talking to when I said that. Was it Off again? When did I ever ask to sit with him? 

I must’ve pushed myself too much to remember who I was asking that question.. my head ended up aching again. And this time, it was even more painful than the first ones. I started pulling my hair down, thinking that it could lessen the pain but it didn’t.

“Gun? Are you okay? What’s happening?” I heard Jane. I saw Ssing standing up to go to me but I couldn’t really pay attention to them. I can feel someone stroking my back gently and waves of air blowing right in front of my face. 

“Gun? Hey, what happened?” I heard a familiar voice. I can hear Jane but I can’t understand what she was trying to say. My trembling hand was about to reach for my backpack on the chair next to me but it was not there. I remember putting it there, where is it now?! 

“Here, here,” someone’s hand showed up in front of my face, giving me the painkiller Doc Hero prescribed. I immediately took it and sipped on my water tumbler afterwards. My tightened chest loosened up a little when I did an inhale-exhale slowly, the doctor advised me that. I looked around only to see Jane and Ssing standing a little far from me and.. someone so close to my face.

“What happened? Where does it ache? Are you feeling dizzy? Do you want me to bring you to the hospital?” I was immediately stunned when his hand gently stroked my hair while he was checking up on it, as if my brain would be seen through. My already parted lips hanged open even more when the feeling of his hand on my hair felt familiar. 

_“Silly,”_

The feeling felt familiar.. the voice in my head.. it sounds familiar. 

And.. and he.. he looked familiar now that he is only a few inches away from my face. 

“Gun? Hey, answer me, please.” He asked in a soft voice while still stroking my back gently.

Even his eyes seemed familiar to me. But the worry in his eyes are not.. like it’s the first time I ever seen that emotion in him. 

Have we really met before? Were we really a close friend to each other? Did I really like you? Do I really know you..

“O-Off?” 

* * *

“How are you feeling?” He asked in a sudden. After what happened during lunch, Off decided to sit with the three of us. He sat in front of me, beside Ssing, watching me closely. 

His gazes made me feel awkward but I didn’t want to push him away after what he did. He was the one who gave me the medicine from the doctor. I was wondering how he knew where to find it on my bag but I guess it was easy since my bag was not that big anyway. 

“I’m-I’m okay now.. thank you,” I couldn’t look at him because I knew he was staring. 

“I’m sorry, Gun. Was it my fault? Did I say something wrong? Or.. or did something you don’t want? I’m sorry,” Ssing has been apologizing to me ever since the incident happened. I never saw it as his fault, though, it happens most of the time whenever I push myself too much to remember things.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I just.. I just remembered something,” the last words came out almost a whisper but they still heard it. 

“What did you remember?” Off asked, now I can’t see any emotions from him. It was like his worriedness were never visible just a while ago. 

“Just some.. familiar words like what Ssing said.” I slowly said. Ssing’s lips parted in shock, as well as Jane’s, but Off had no emotions at all. He was just staring at me, waiting for me to say more. 

“So it was true?” Jane butted in, it was her first words after what happened earlier. All three of us looked at her when she asked me that. 

“What is true?” I asked her back, confused about her question. 

“That you remember everything and everyone except.. Off?” She asked slowly. His name came out from her lips in a low tone, a little hesitant to say it because the man is also with us. She can’t even give him a single glance. 

“Who told you that?” Off asked her in a serious tone. I think it scared Jane a little because she can’t look straight in his eyes when she spoke up. 

“I just.. I just.. heard it from T-Tawan,” she avoided his gaze. Off let out a heavy sigh before massaging the bridge of his nose, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“That asshole, really.. can’t even keep his fucking mouth shut.” He whispered but I still managed to hear him. I was about to say something to him when Ssing spoke up. 

“Y-You have.. amnesia?” He slowly asked, still dumbfounded about the idea. When I nodded, his hand slowly made its way up to cover his mouth. I can’t help but chuckle at his reaction because his wide eyes looked at me in shock. His front teeth looked like baby teeth. “So I triggered your memories?” He pointed to himself. 

“Maybe a little, I still can’t remember everything clearly, just some words that sounded so familiar.” I showed him my fingers with a ‘little’ gesture. Jane reached out her hand to hold mine that was on top of the table, it got all of our attention. 

“I hope you get well sooner,” she said in a soft voice. I returned her smile when she gave me a genuine one. Ssing also did the same, but the two of them ended up fighting because he accidentally held Jane’s hand instead of mine. I was enjoying their fight because Ssing kept on teasing her but someone else caught my attention. 

“Hey,” I reached out to tap the table in front of him. Off had been silent ever since Jane said that and I saw him looking down to his food, not wanting to eat one bit. He looked at me and gave a small smile before raising his brows. 

“Something wrong?” I asked. I’ve decided not to be rude or even push him away anymore. I was starting to open up at the idea that maybe he and I were really friends before the accident. And he helped me, that somehow shows that he cares. Maybe, having him around will eventually help me to bring my memories back. 

“Nothing, really. Don’t you have classes?” He sat straight before glancing at his wrist watch. He started eating up his food because he probably calculated that only a few more minutes left before lunch time comes to an end. 

“I have Screenwriting Class after lunch,” he just nodded before focusing back on his meal. Since I have already finished my lunch, I spent the remaining minutes talking to Jane and Ssing. Most of the time, Ssing would tell us a joke that Jane would only find lame. These two, really.. they can’t be in the same room without him teasing her nonstop. I’ve seen them like that ever since our sophomore years.

“Oh, I need to go now, that’ll be my professor for next class.” Ssing pouted his lips to point at the professor who was now walking on his way to the stairs. He stood up before getting his plate then running while playfully waving to us. 

“Well, I guess I’ll just see you guys around. I have a meeting with Nanon so we could practice some lines together. Take care, you two!” Jane also stood up and picked up her plate before playfully giving me a flying kiss, to which I chuckled. Now, I was left with Off who has already finished his food. 

“Let’s go?” He asked, breaking the silence between us. He stood up to pick our plates before looking at me with a straight face.

“Where?” I asked back, a little dumbfounded. I stood up to hang my backpack on one shoulder before getting my plate from him.. but he moved it away from me. 

“I’ll walk you to your classroom,” he walked out to put our plates on the dishwasher before going back to me. He showed me the way when I remained motionless and eventually followed me when I started walking on my way to the classroom. It was only a three-minutes walk so we arrived there in no time. 

“Thanks,” I smiled to which he just nodded. I was about to enter the room when he said something. 

“I’ll see you after class,” I turned to look at him and there, I saw him smiling. A sweet one, I can say. 

That smile.. it looked.. familiar.

But it lasted only for a few seconds because he said something again.

“Go now,” 

* * *

The class went fine and we had a 20-minute individual activity wherein we needed to write a short story about the topic that the professor gave us each. Mine happened to be about a single-parent father who searched for his son when he got lost. After 20 minutes, we read our works one by one, like a fucking high schooler but I couldn’t complain more. 

After almost two hours, everyone finished reading their works so the prof dismissed us early. I have no classes left so I’ve decided to go home by now. I can at least take some rest. I bid goodbyes to my classmates before I left the room.. only to be surprised by my sight. 

“Off?” My brows immediately furrowed when I confirmed that the man standing in front of the door was him. He was holding a plastic of something on one hand while the other was kept inside his left pocket. 

“Hey, I ugh.. brought you something.” He looked down to the plastic so I did the same. There, I saw a tall plastic cup of pink milk. Wow, that’s my favorite! How come he knows what I like? Have I told him that before? 

“I was just wondering if you miss pink milk so I brought one. Here,” he reached his hand out to give it to me. I gladly accepted it before giving him a sweet smile. I’ve never had pink milk ever since I woke up from the hospital! 

“Thank you,” he returned the same smile to me. I can feel my cheeks burning the moment he did that.. he looks gorgeous with a smile. Good god, am I blushing? 

Of course not! What was I thinking? 

I sipped on the pink milk just to stop myself from overthinking about that topic. Wow, it tasted just like the one from my favorite shop! 

“You don’t have any classes left?” He asked which almost choked me because I almost forgot that he was right here. Blame the pink milk! 

“Y-Yes, I’m ugh.. going home now.” Geez, why are my cheeks burning?! And I am stuttering, for Pete’s sake! 

“I can walk you there,” he simply said. But he immediately looked away with his brows a little furrowed. I saw the way he pinched the bridge of his nose while shaking his head a little like he was embarrassed. “Or maybe-” 

“Okay,” I showed him a small smile. I also want to know how much he knows about me so I would know how to act whenever I’m with him. He felt familiar to me so I’m curious what memories we have from each other. And besides, I don’t really like pushing people away from me. 

“O-Okay, let’s go.” The two of us started walking on our way out of the building. We were both silent and I couldn’t stand it so I broke the wall of silence between us. It somehow felt like we were back to being freshmen students where we did some ice-breaker activities. 

“Oh, right! Where did you buy this? It tastes just like the one from my favorite shop. The one made by-” I was cut off from speaking when he looked at me to say something. 

“P’Dan,” he completed my statement. Oh, so he knew him! What a coincidence! 

“Oh, so you knew P’Dan! His pink milk is the best one I’ve ever tasted!” My voice raised a little with a hint of excitement. I suddenly miss P’Dan. I’ll make sure to visit him when I have free time. 

“Yeah, I knew him. I was actually the one who introduced him to you.” My eyes witnessed how his lips slowly formed into a thin smile while he was looking down to his feet. I didn’t know what he was thinking but he suddenly looked at me with a worried look. 

Whoa, mood swings?

“I’m sorry, I ugh.. I didn’t mean to,” he said, a little panicking. I shook my head as an answer because I already knew what he was trying to say. He only sighed in relief when a couple of seconds passed and he didn’t see me crying in pain like what happened at the cafeteria. I think he was being careful not to trigger some of my forgotten memories because it might happen again. 

“Can you tell me more about us?” I asked before sipping on my pink milk. His lips parted a little like something hit him right on his chest, eyes confused and dumbfounded.

“A-About us?” It was as if the topic was too sensitive for him, he suddenly looked away. Did I say something wrong? I hope not. 

“Yeah, about my forgotten memories with you.” I shrugged at the thought. 

Before, the idea of amnesia amazes me whenever I hear or read it from movies and books. I was actually amazed at how a person suddenly wakes up with no memories about something, someone, or worse, no memories left at all. 

But now, I’ve learnt that it was actually hard.. and painful. Especially the times when your memories are triggered and your head starts to hurt like hell, you’re gonna be praying just so it would fade away. I felt lost in the middle of the whole crowd who kept on telling me that I knew this guy before the accident. It was even harder because I forgot only one person and all of my memories with him. It was absolutely strange.. I didn’t know it was possible until now that I am experiencing it. 

“O-Okay.. but don’t push yourself too hard on remembering things, okay?” He said but it felt like he was talking to himself more than me. He waited for my response so I just nodded to him. “As what I’ve said.. I was, ugh.. the one who introduced P’Dan to you.” 

“You were?” I asked in disbelief. I can’t remember- oh, right. I can’t remember anything from him. I looked down on the cup of pink milk before looking back at him. I suddenly realized that we were walking slowly.. I didn’t know if he was aware of it or not. 

“Yeah, you accused me of being unfair because you already brought me to your favorite shops but I won’t bring you to mine.” He chuckled a little. Wow, I didn’t know he had a soft side.. he looks cute when he chuckled. 

“I did?” I asked, now in amusement. So maybe that’s why P’Mild knows him, because I brought him there before. I just don’t know how many times I did so that P’Mild ended up searching for him the moment she saw me again. 

“Yeah so I ugh.. brought you to P’Dan's shop.” 

And with that, a memory flashed back on my mind. 

_“Where are we going?” I asked. Someone was dragging me through my hand so I looked up to who it was.. but its face is blurry._

_“You’ll know it when we get there.” He simply said and at that moment, I knew the voice sounded familiar. “Oh, here we are.” He stopped walking so I did the same. He raised his arm up to show me the small cart in front of us. I saw a man standing there while looking somewhere else. “P’Dan!” The one dragging me called out._

_“Off, hey, kid!” The man, who I guess is already in his 40s, exclaimed when he saw us. And just like that, the blurriness faded, revealing the face of the person who dragged me here._

_“How have you been Phi? I got busy with some school work so I couldn’t go here.” Off lightly patted on the man’s back. I was just standing beside him, still a little conscious about his hand that hadn’t left mine even after he gave the man a small hug._

_“I’ve been doing well. So, are you doing good in school now because you aren’t visiting here anymore? You used to make this place your library before.” The old man chuckled before patting Off’s back._

_“Well, you can say that.” Off also chuckled before scratching on his nape. I don’t know if he’s aware or not but he was still holding my hand. I was about to remove it from his hold when he held it a little tighter, but just enough for my hand to still breathe._

_“Oh, and by the way, this is Gun. Gun, this is P’Dan, he’s the owner of this shop.” He pointed at the whole place. It was a food cart with three tables on the sidewalk. I didn’t know there was such a place like this near the campus._

_“Hey, kid, nice to meet you.” He offered me a handshake so I accepted it with the hand that Off was holding. My cheeks were starting to get red because of his hold so I used that opportunity to pull my hand away._

_“And so to you, P’Dan.” I smiled back._

_“It was the first time you brought a friend here, Off. Well, except your crazy friends. I haven’t seen them for almost a month now.” He smirked after playfully bumping his elbow on Off’s arm._

_“They’re being busy with their relationships.” Off playfully rolled his eyes upon mentioning his crazy friends. It has been almost a week now since I last saw those guys. I haven’t heard anything from them._

_“Oh, and so are you, eh?” P’Dan teased him before glancing at me. What the hell? Was he pertaining to me? As in me? Off’s relationship? That is insane!_

_“Oh, no, no, P’Dan. That’s not like that, we’re just friends.” Off was immediately reluctant. He raised his hand to wave it in front of P’Dan as a no for the man’s question._

_And just like that, I felt a tiny flinch in my heart that seemed familiar._

“Hey? Gun? Is everything okay?” I heard Off’s voice which pulled me out from my thoughts. I looked at him when he held my shoulder first before my hair. 

“Y-Yeah.. yeah,” I nodded even though I was still lost in my own thoughts. 

I just remembered a memory with Off.. and it felt real. I knew my mind was not just making up things.

Off was not just making up things. 

“Is there something wrong? Does your head hurt?” He suddenly asked when I went silent for a minute or so. I immediately shook my head when I saw worry in his eyes.. like the one it holds earlier during the lunch break. 

“No, no, I'm okay.”


	3. 2

“How have you been?” I heard Newwiie asking me. My friends and I went to school early so we could spend some time together for breakfast. We still had an hour before classes started so we went to P’Mild’s coffee shop. Good thing they open up early for morning persons so we’re the first customers for today.

“Doing good, why?” I looked at him. Our friends were, as usual, busy chit-chatting about their lives and relationship. I was suddenly curious if Tay and New have talked to each other already. The last time I heard, they were having a quarrel. 

“I heard Off has been accompanying you almost all the time like he doesn’t have his own classes.” He said in a low voice, trying not to get our friends' attention. 

It was true, Off has been accompanying me ever since that incident at the cafeteria happened two days ago. I was also curious as to why he would sit with me whenever we are in the same class, or if he has free time. Or whenever I see him on the other side of the door during dismissals, waiting for me to finish my class so he could walk me to my condo building or ask me to eat with him somewhere. 

I didn’t know we had each other’s number so I was surprised when I received a message from him the other night. It was registered on my phone with a name Off Jumpol.. ah, so that’s his name, Jumpol. I can still remember his message from last night even though it was the simplest one on my inbox. 

**From: Off Jumpol**  
 **Good night, Gun.**

I just.. really don’t understand. If his number has been registered on my phone even before the accident took place, then we could have had at least small conversations, right? 

But it was empty.. and Off’s message that night was the very first one I received. 

“Are you uncomfortable having him around? I can talk to him, I think Tay and I can convince him to give you some time and space.” New told me in a soft voice. I was glad I heard Tay’s name from him. If I didn’t, then I might have continued on thinking that they were still not in good terms.

“No, it’s okay. I also want to spend some time with him. Actually, I’m enjoying his company so I think there’s nothing to worry about.” I simply said before sipping on my latte. He just nodded to me before we both joined our friends with their conversations. 

“And you know what, Zee looks so hot whenever he plays basketball. He would always fix his hair like this,” Saint dramatically combed his hair back, probably the same as how Zee does it. “And then he would wink at me afterwards!” He giggled like a teenager, what the hell! But, I can see how happy he is right now so I didn’t say anything. 

Well, the things I can do just to see my friends this happy. 

“Remember when P’Kao and I went out for our first date? I spent two hours inside my walk-in closet because I thought we were going out for a movie or a walk in a peaceful park. But, you know what happened? He brought me to a library! Can you imagine that? I wore YSL boots, a Gucci crop top, a Channel jacket, and applied some make up just to roam around the library?” Earth looked like a sulking kid. 

A minute ago, he was sulking, but now, he was smiling from ear to ear. I don’t get it. “But, after that, we spent the night in a rooftop restaurant so he’s forgiven.” He even slapped Fluke’s shoulder when he got teased. And this Fluke.. adding fuel to the fire, he freaking fought back! My friends and I enjoyed their argument, not wanting to stop them. These two have always been the closest pair amongst the group.. and that’s their way of showing how much they love each other. 

And actually, we already get used to it.. to them playfully getting on each other’s nerves. 

“What about you, Fluke? Nothing to share about Ohm?” Earth teased back. These two, really. They never really stop teasing each other until they’re pulling each other’s hair down. 

“Don’t you dare call him Ohm! It’s P’Ohm! P’Ohm!” Fluke glared at him to which Earth only found even funnier. They ended up playfully arguing instead of Fluke sharing a story about his boyfriend. The rest of us were just laughing at our sight, it has been a normal thing for us to see. 

“Jingjing, how about you? Have no plans of having a boyfriend yet?” Saint asked the only woman in the group. 

“For now, I don’t think so. Having you guys is already stressing the shit out of me, what more if I get myself one?” She rolled her eyes before sipping on her Americano Coffee. Fluke and Earth joined her on their still on-going argument. Good god, I think it will take them hours before they stop pulling on each other’s sleeves. 

I wonder how the two of them are like whenever they’re in the same class. 

“Right, how did you guys meet your boyfriends, anyway?” I butted in just to stop these two from their noises. The last thing I know, they just announced that they already have their boyfriends, out of nowhere. They all looked at me like they saw a ghost right in front of their faces. 

Whoa.. now what?

“You don’t remember?” New was the one who broke the growing silence. I slowly shook my head, feeling nervous all of a sudden. What’s with those looks?

“Off introduced them to us,” Fluke suddenly said after receiving my silent response. Off? My brows furrowed when I tried to recall that time in my memories. 

Off introduced his crazy group of friends to my friends? When was that? 

And suddenly.. a voice filled my head. 

_“Hello, everyone. Excuse me, my friend just wants to give you this.”_

Then that’s all. 

Was it Off? I think it sounds like him. So he was the one who introduced his friends to mine? 

I wasn’t even pushing myself too hard to remember all of it. Off once advised me to take it easy because sooner or later, it will all come back anyway. It was just that, my head was suddenly filled with a lot of questions, it started hurting. 

“Gun? Hey! Shit! Get his bag!” It was Jingjing panicking. The next thing I know, she was already handing me my medicine. I breathed slowly to loosen my tightened chest. 

“Off again?” 

* * *

“Oh, Gun, hi!” It was Arm calling me. He sat on the chair next to mine when he saw me in Film History Class. Wow, this man’s skin had gotten much brighter than it used to be. No wonder why he was known as The Perfect Man of the department. 

“Hey,” I greeted back with a small smile. 

“I heard about what happened at P’Mild’s shop this morning. Are you okay now? How are you?” He turned a little to his left so he could face me. He was pertaining to the incident that happened just this morning when my head hurt because of a short glimpse from my forgotten memories. 

“Yes, I’m okay now. It happens most of the time.” I shrugged at the thought. He was about to say something when our professor arrived.

And so with that, the class started well. Arm and I paid our full attention to our classmates who have been assigned for a presentation. I was listening attentively to the presenter, jotting down important notes.. when my phone suddenly vibrated on my pocket. 

So I checked on it. 

**From: Off Jumpol**  
 **Classes done. I’m on my way to your room now. Do you want anything? Are you hungry?**

Whoa.. lately, he’s been texting me that. It was actually thoughtful but I didn’t want to be bothersome. 

Since the first presenter has just finished and the next one is still preparing for theirs, I decided to reply to his message first. 

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Nothing, but thank you. You don’t really need to go here. I can go home by myself.**

It was actually bothering me. I’m not used to people taking care of me, or doing nice things to me. It has always been the other way around. Since I was the eldest child, I grew up taking care of my siblings and my friends. I never bothered them with my problems.

And now that Off is here, I don’t think I will ever get used to it. 

I didn’t realize that my phone received another message from him only until I saw Arm glancing at my vibrating phone under the arm chair’s table.

**From: Off Jumpol**  
 **Pushing me away is useless, I am here now.**

And with that, I looked at the door and saw his back. I knew it would be him, it felt like I already memorized it in my head. These past few days, I can easily recognize his hair, his back, his voice, and even his scent. It was weird but I guess we were really close before.. close enough for me to know that such scent belongs only to him. 

Since I was left with no choice, I decided not to push him away, then. A few more minutes passed before the professor dismissed us, leaving us with a take-home activity. I was already putting my things inside my bag when I suddenly heard Arm’s voice.

“Off, my dear friend!” When I turned back, I saw his wide-opened arms in front of Off.. initiating a hug. When I looked at the latter, I saw him looking at me before to Arm, probably surprised that I was in the same class as his friend.

“Are you here to pick me up?” Arm playfully chuckled at his own words. It seemed that he was enjoying his time on teasing Off so even after I finished packing my things up, I decided not to go out first. 

“You wish, dumbass,” Off had a thin smile on his lips when he shook his head a little. I was still inside the room but a little closer to them now. 

“Oh, right. You’re here to pick up the-” Arm was cut off from speaking when someone hit his nape, earning a growl from him. When I walked closer, I saw Gunsmile and their other friends. I think it was Gunsmile who hit his nape since he was standing the closest to Arm. 

“What are you all doing here?” Off asked when he realized that all of his friends are here. 

“I thought you said you’re going to have shabu-shabu for dinner so we want to tag along.” Zee playfully raised his brows up and down to Off, making the latter massage his nose bridge in disappointment. 

Wow, shabu-shabu sounds like an excellent idea!

“Dumb shitty heads,” Off let out a heavy sigh.

“Oh, Gun, I didn’t know you’re here!” White exclaimed when he looked at me, making all of them do the same. Off sighed heavier this time and he turned his back on us while mumbling things I couldn’t hear. 

“Hi,” I waved my hand a little to all of them. I have grown a little closer to them since some of them are my friend’s boyfriends. And they’ve been my block mates over the years so I knew them more than just their names. 

“Ahhh, I get it now,” all of us looked at Kao when he suddenly said that. His one hand even raised like he just had a brilliant idea, communicated with his friends using his eyes like he was trying to explain an important thing to them. It was weird seeing them unusually silent.. but what’s weirder is when they nodded altogether, saying ‘Ahhh’ in an increasing tone. 

“I don’t think shabu-shabu is a good idea. Who’s up for Pork BBQ with me?” Toy raised his arms, a thing that his friends also did in agreement, like they're calling the professor's attention for a recitation. 

Okay? What the hell is going on? 

One minute they were bugging Off so they could join him for a shabu-shabu dinner and now they suddenly want Pork BBQ instead? What is that? A sudden change of heart? 

“We’re going now,” Ohm playfully saluted to Off when he dragged his friends away. I saw the way White winked at Off before he giggled like a teenager. These guys, really! They only look mature but they definitely are not when they are all together at the same place. 

“You’re going to have shabu-shabu for dinner?” Off was startled like he didn’t know I was standing in front of him. He glanced at his friends first before shaking his head slowly. 

“I’m still not sure,” he simply said. Huh? What does that even mean? 

“Why? Is it because of me? You don’t have to walk me to my condo. You can go now. I can-” I was cut off from speaking when he looked straight into my eyes. Whoa I am, all of a sudden.. out of words. 

“I will only be sure if you say yes to me.” 

For a moment, I got speechless. I didn’t know what to say so I kept my eyes looking at him.

“Would you like to join me for dinner?” He asked in a low tone. 

“You mean, shabu-shabu?” I asked back. I’ve never eaten shabu-shabu ever since I got back from the hospital. I suddenly craved it when Zee mentioned that. 

“You decide,” he shrugged a little. Whoa? I didn’t expect that.. it doesn’t seem familiar to me. 

“O-Okay,” I nodded which made him smile. Wow, what a beautiful smile, that is. 

In just a matter of time, I already saw myself at the school’s car park. I didn’t bring my car with me because Jingjing picked me up this morning so after a few more minutes, I was already sitting at Off’s front seat. After half an hour or so, we finally arrived at the mall. Good thing my favorite shabu-shabu restaurant was not that crowded so it was easy for us to get a table for two. We were beside the wall where the huge bulletin board is. 

Off told me to just wait for him here on our seats while he got the ingredients from the buffet section. I wanted to help but he stopped me from going. In the end, I just kept myself busy by looking at the pictures on the board. There were a lot and I even saw some familiar faces.. but one thing caught my attention. 

A candid photo of a man in his dark blue dress shirt, who seemed too busy eating to even notice that someone is capturing him. 

I had to wait for Off to finally come back with platters on his two hands, one for the proteins and the other for veggies. I was actually amazed at how he managed to carry all that without having a hard time because he also had a small bowl of dipping sauce on his wrist. 

And the platters have my favorites, too! 

Sooner enough, we started on adding the veggies on the broth, Off was just watching me do the job of cooking. The polaroid picture of him on the board almost slipped from my mind, good thing I had a glimpse of it again. 

“Is this you?” I pointed at the picture glued on the board which eventually made Off curious. 

“Yeah, that’s me,” he simply nodded, eyes not leaving his own picture. 

“You’ve been here?” I asked in amazement. I didn’t know he likes shabu, he doesn’t look like that kind of person. 

“Fourth time now,” he glanced at me when his lips formed into a small smile. 

“Who took this picture?” I looked back on it. For me, it was a good shot especially since a film camera was used.. and he also looked good here even though he had his head bowed. 

“It was you,” 

* * *

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Off gave me a soft smile when he dropped me off to my condo’s lobby. It was already 7:30 PM when we finished the buffet so I got home later than usual. But it was okay, I had a nice time with him after class.

“Good night, Off.” I waved my hand. I told him not to come out of his car anymore since we were already in front of the building. 

“Good night, Gun. Thank you for coming with me.” He said in a soft voice before waving back. And with that, he started maneuvering his car. I was already waiting for the elevator to open when my phone vibrated. I got it from my pocket before looking at the message I received just now. 

**From: Off Jumpol**  
 **Don’t force yourself to remember things, okay? Call me anytime.**

When the door opened, I went inside the lift before typing a reply for him. 

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Thank you, but don’t worry. I can manage :)**

I was already walking on my way to my front door when it vibrated again, receiving a notification from the man who parted with me just a few minutes ago but is already texting me a lot like he is not driving. 

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Just call me anytime you need me.**

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Anytime.**

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Good night, Gun.**

I chose not to reply anymore. I know I can call him anytime if I will ever need him but I don’t want to impose on him too much. I don’t want to impose on anyone too much. I always do things on my own so I don’t usually ask for other people’s help. 

When I landed myself on the soft couch, a memory went back. A thing that Off and I talked about over dinner. 

“It was you,” I whispered when I remembered what he said earlier. 

And just like what happened before our dinner started, a memory flashed in my mind. 

_“Hey, this is actually good. I like this one the most.” Off looked up to me and showed me a soft smile._

_I brought him to my favorite buffet restaurant when he mentioned that he wanted to try something new to taste. I didn’t know he has never been to a shabu-shabu restaurant so this is basically his first time trying them. How ironic that he had always been eating seafood and pork barbeque but he got so excited for shabu-shabu, right? Weird._

_“Hey, slow down, caveman.” He glared at me when I teased that to him, shook his head a little before focusing back on his food._

_“Good evening, gentlemen. Would you like_ _to take a picture with our film camera? It will be posted on the restaurant’s Memory Board.” The waiter who passed by us said in a convincing voice, then showed us the bulletin board on the wall from the other side of the place._

_“Yeah, sure,” I got the camera from his hands, was just about to raise my arm so I could have Off in the frame when he blocked the camera from his face using the palm of his hand._

_“I don’t want to take a picture.” He simply said before bowing down his head lower so he could not be seen, then focusing back on his eating._

_“Okay,” I pretended t_ _o move it away from him so when he was not looking, then took that opportunity to take a stolen picture of him. When he heard the sound from the camera, he looked up so I pretended I was taking photos of the food. And when the film came out, I took a picture of it on my phone._

_“Thank you,” I returned the camera to the waiter, and also gave him the filmed picture. My eyes followed that man until he attached the picture on the Memory Board. I will make sure to sit there next time if Off comes back here with me._

And I really did. Off also told me what happened when we dined there again. 

_“This memory board looks amazing, what do you think?” He gave the board a single glance before eating a piece of shrimp. He just nodded to my question, not quite interested at all._

_“I think only sentimental people would post their picture there.” He shrugged before looking away from the board._

_“Oh, yeah? Then why do you have a picture in here?” I pursed my lips to refrain myself from smiling so wide. His brows immediately furrowed before he looked at it again, searching for the one I was talking about._

_“That’s me?” He pointed to it when he found it. I just shrugged before sipping on my drink so it will not look too obvious that I was smiling from ear to ear. I just can’t help it._

_“Gun? Why would you do that?” He sounds upset. What now? It’s just a picture, his face was not even seen that much._

_“I did what?” I acted innocent. But for some reason, I am a very bad liar so his eyes looked at me like I was a suspicious prospect._

_“It was obviously you who captured that. I was with you when I first dined here.” He let out a heavy sigh before looking away. He looks upset, for Pete’s sake!_

_“Hey,” I called out when he didn’t look at me even after a few minutes passed. He went back to eating like he was here to dine alone._

_“I’m sorry, I’ll remove it, then.” I stood up so I could go to the counter to ask for the picture. They allowed me to remove it from the board but I didn’t tell Off that I will keep it. Even after I came back, he wouldn’t look at me. He didn’t even talk to me that much._

_And that night, I went home by myself. Off told me that he has to go somewhere else for an errand. He still looked upset that night so I decided not to push through._

Now I just don’t understand a thing. If I took that picture from the board and kept it.. how come it was back there again? 

“When did I return it?”

* * *

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_“Fluke! What the hell?!” Earth complained when Fluke stole a shrimp from his plate. We were supposed to have a peaceful dinner in our favorite Seafood Restaurant when these two started their thing again._

_“Wow, delicious!” Fluke teased him even more by using a fake Italian accent. Earth pulled his best friend’s hair down to which we found funny so all of us laughed._

_“Hey, isn’t that Off from your department?” Jingjing nudged me to point somewhere. I followed her finger’s direction and there, I saw a tall man walking on his way here but I don’t think he’s going to our table._

_We’ve been classmates since last year so I knew him but I never really talked to him before, except for some by-group school work. We are often in the same group so most of the time, we would talk about taking parts for the work._

_“Yes, that’s him.” I nodded before going back to eating._

_“Whoa, he’s on his way to_ _our table!” Saint exclaimed, making all of our friends turn to wherever he was looking at._

_“Dumbass, he’s not,” I bluntly said, not even apologetic of bursting his flirty bubble. Everyone’s got a crush on that man because of his looks. There’s no doubt, he is indeed downright handsome.. that’s a given. But he has this kind of attitude that I somehow don’t like._

_My brows furrowed when these people became silent and stunned. They had their mouths hang open and eyes widened. I turned my head around because they were all looking behind my back.. which only made my brow up._

_“Hello, everyone. Excuse me, my friend just wants to give you this.”_

_What the hell?!_

_“For me?” New’s hands slowly made its way up to reach out for whatever Off was giving him. The tall man just nodded before giving my confused friend a small smile._

_“He’s dining there with me, the name’s Tay Tawan. If you guys are done, do you mind if we invite you out for a drink since the night is still young anyway?” He asked. Wow, I didn’t know he was friends with Tay. That guy studies Photography. Well, knowing that man, he’s friends with everyone._

_“Sure!” Saint was the one who answered, making me look at him in disbelief._

_“Great, we’ll wait for you guys. See you later,” he gave us another small smile before waving his hand a little. And with that, he left us to go back to their table._

_“You dumbass! Why did you say yes?!” I smacked Saint at the back of his head when he kept his eyes to the tall man who’s now sitting with his friends. He glared at me when I did that, but the hell I care, right?_

_“Because why not?” He complained, massaging the part where I hit him._

_“Wow, I think this is the first time that you’re refusing some invites for a few drinks.” Fluke commented, making Earth nod in agreement. Wow, now they're suddenly back to being best friends?_

_“And besides, they invited us so I think drinks will be on them. It's just a few drinks anyway,” Jingjing looked excited when she said that. This party goer woman, really._

_And after an hour or so, I already saw myself inside a high-end bar. We were all seated at the VIP room’s couch and there was a mellow music filling the room through the speakers from the ceiling. Jingjing couldn’t turn up to their invites because she received an urgent call from their agency, she left early before we could even finish our dinner._

_“Whoa, what now? Do we need to have some ice-breaker activities?” A man threw a joke when none of us broke the silence._

_“Hey, ugh, right! I forgot to introduce myself to you, people. My name’s Off Jumpol, Journalism Major. Nice to meet you guys,” he bowed down his head a little to show politeness._

_Off introduced his friends to us, naming them Tay, Arm, White, Mike, Gunsmile, Toy, Kao, Ohm, and Zee. It was the guy named Zee who threw a joke just a while ago. After their group, my friends also introduced themselves. I didn’t realize that they were all done because I wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation so when I looked around, all eyes were on me now._

_“Gun Atthaphan,”_

_The next thing I knew, no one was sitting next to me anymore. They all went out to the dancefloor with Off’s friends. I was left alone in the room because I’m still not that drunk to go there. I was finishing the whole bottle of Tequila and sipping on a lemon to wash off the alcohol’s bitter taste._

_“Hey,” I was startled when the door opened, throwing in a tall man in his plain white shirt and denim pants. Wow, he nailed that kind of simple outfit._

_“Off,”_

I gasped for air when I felt my chest tightening, making me sit on my bed while holding the part where it aches. I let out a heavy sigh just so the pain will ease. 

I was only dreaming but it felt.. real?

I knew it was real.. it must be a part of my forgotten memories. 

The first time I personally met Off. 

“What happened after that?” 


	4. 3

  
“Thank you, Professor.” All of us gave the teacher a wai before he left. Photography Class just finished and I am about to have my lunch break before another class starts. I was about to open the door when..

“Hey-” 

“Goodness!” I exclaimed in shock. I didn’t know someone was also about to open the door on the other side. I looked at the person to see who it was.. and guess who? 

“Off?” He showed me a small smile when he let go of the door. “What’re you doing here?” I asked before stepping out of the room. 

“Do you have any classes left?” He asked. I think it has become his very first question every time we meet. 

“I still have one class left after lunch break. Why?” I nodded to him so we could start walking on our way to the cafeteria. He was next to me so I needed to look up just to see his face. What a tall man, really. How unfair.

“Can I join you for lunch?” He simply asked? To which I just nodded as a reply since we have already been dining quite sometime these past few days. And I will not deny the fact that I am also enjoying his company. He is actually fun to be with. 

“You can take your seat now. I will order for you,” he told me when we arrived inside the cafeteria. 

“Okay, mine is-” I was about to tell him mine when he finished my sentence first. 

“Chicken with Holy Basil, rice and omelet. Got it,” then he smiled. Whoa, is that also a thing he knew about me from before? My favorite meal? 

I sat on an empty table near the trees so we can at least have some fresh air. A couple of minutes went by, Off already came while holding two plates with both of his hands. He went out again to order us a drink, sat in front of me when everything was settled, before we could finally start eating peacefully. 

“Right, can I ask something?” I broke the silence when I remembered my dream this early morning. 

“Anything,” he simply answered. 

“What happened that night?” I tilted my head a little to the side. His brows furrowed at my question.. and so are mine. 

Good god, I just realized how bad it sounds.

“What night?” He said, looking confused. 

“I had a dream earlier this morning. I believe that was the first time I personally met you with no excuses for our group work. It was in the Seafood Restaurant, wasn’t it? When you came to our table to give something to New.” I still don’t know what that was but he mentioned in my dream that it was from Tay so I think it’s his LINE ID or what. 

“Yes, it was,” he simply nodded, not getting the point. 

“You invited us for a few drinks in a high-end bar. You introduced your friends to us and we exchanged names with each other. And then you guys went out to the dancefloor and I was left alone in the room. But I remember that you came back that time. What happened after that?” I put a spoonful inside my mouth before looking at him to wait for his response. 

“That was all you dreamt about?” His brows furrowed even more but I can see a small grin from his lips. When I gave him a single nod, he let out a soft chuckle which made me stunned. 

“Do you seriously wanna know what happened next to that?” He even shook his head while chuckling in an amused way. 

Good god, that sounded so angelic. How is that even possible? 

“Yes, tell me,” I urged him. He stopped laughing for a moment before sipping on his drink. He then looked straight into my eyes like he was trying to read my emotions or what. I got a little impatient and nervous so I decided to sip on my soda first.

“You licked my neck for a body shot.” 

I automatically choked on my drink before he could even finish his words, making me cough while he began laughing at my reaction. Good thing I have my own water tumbler so I sipped on it. What a badass, really! He intently said that when I drank some soda! God, now my throat aches! 

“Dumbass, why would you joke about something like that while I was drinking? I almost choked to death!” I wanted to throw my water tumbler to him but I also didn’t want to make a scene. The nerve of this guy, really! 

“Who says I’m joking?” He bit his lower lip to stop himself from letting out a chuckle for the second time. 

I was about to argue with him when a memory flashed on my mind.. and fucking hell. 

_“Off,” I called out to the person who entered the room. I thought he was alone so I was surprised when the door opened again, letting my friends and his' inside._

_“Whoa, you’re finishing the bottle of Tequila alone?” Zee looked at me in amusement. I just nodded before drinking my 20th shot then sipping on the lemon._

_“Body shot! Who wants to join?” Gunsmile excitedly said, making all of us laugh in agreement._

_I can’t remember who got the shot and whose body was used anymore. All I know is that they were unusually wild and loud. My friends are already getting wasted, geez. I might need to prepare myself now because I am about to babysit four college students after this._

_“Gun, it’s your turn now!” Mike cheered out while White made squealing noises to which all of us laughed. I got the shot glass from the table before roaming my eyes around them, choosing whom shall I put the salt on._

_Fluke was in between Earth and Saint. Ohm was with Kao and Zee, New was next to Tay. Gunsmile and Arm were playfully encircling their arms around Toy whose eyes were already shut. White and Mike were busy cheering for me. I didn’t know who to put the salt on._

_Definitely not to my friends.. that is disgusting._

_“Off’s available!” Mike pointed at the man who was silently sipping on his bottled beer, making the latter look up to us. I almost forgot that he's also here. He didn’t join the body shot so now everyone was cheering for the two of us! Off first roamed his eyes around our friends before looking straight into my eyes. He then gave me a single nod, earning us even much louder cheers from our drunk friends._

_They are all surely enjoying this! These drunkards!_

_Must be the alcohol doing its work, I walked closer to Off and sat next to him. He was just watching me closely and when I used eye contact to ask for his permission, he didn’t say anything. He just arched his neck so I could have better access to it._

_The room almost turned upside down when their noise grew louder and wilder because of what Off did!_

_I can now feel my whole body and cheeks burning but since I was also intoxicated with alcohol, I shamelessly put the salt from his neck down to his collarbone. I looked up to him first so our eyes met for a moment. It got me a little awkward so I decided to stop staring, drank the tequila on one shot before licking the salt off of his skin and eating the lemon afterwards. The room was then filled with different noises. Goodness, I thought I was hearing some animals in the wild!_

_I didn’t know how many bottles of Tequila and other liquors had been finished already. The next thing I know, I was already dizzy and a little tipsy. I can’t even remember how I managed to go to the dancefloor.. or how I got home with this state. And I can seriously feel my head splitting, geez._

_“I’m going home now,”_

“Hey, Gun?” I heard Off’s voice which pulled me out from my own thoughts. He had his brows a little furrowed while looking at me. 

“Was it you who brought me home?” I pointed to him. He just nodded before putting a spoonful inside of his mouth, swallowed it first before speaking. 

“I was the only one who’s sober enough to take you home safe and sound. Jingjing threatened me that she would kill me if you got harmed or if I ever lay a finger on you.” He chuckled again. Oh my goodness, Jingjing! She was not even there, how could she threaten this guy! 

“And who brought my friends home?” I tilted my head a little to the side. I can’t remember it anymore.. and I don’t really know what happened to them after that night. 

“My friends,” he simply said. I didn’t even realize that he already finished his food. I stopped talking anymore since I don’t have all the time in the world and lunch break will be over after a few more minutes. 

And just like these past few days, he walked me to the classroom after lunch. The prof still hasn’t arrived so I’m still at ease. 

“I have to go somewhere tonight so I can’t walk you to your condo building after your class. Will you be okay?” He asked before I could even go inside the room. 

“Of course, no worries.” I gave him a small smile so he returned it. He just nodded like he was more of trying to convince himself more than me. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” 

* * *

“What’s wrong?” I sat beside Saint when I found him on the school soccer field. He called me a few minutes ago, asking me to come over because he needs someone to talk to. 

“Nothing much,” his voice seemed broken. But what a bad liar this guy really is. It was already obvious yet he still won’t spill it. 

“You seriously won’t call me at 6 o’clock in the evening to go to the school field just for nothing, right?” I let out a small chuckle, trying to lift up his mood. He only glanced at me before letting out a heavy sigh. 

It nearly broke my heart. Knowing Saint, he has always been cheerful and smiling, the positive thinker of the group so you’ll know it when something bothers him. He is rare to be sad and silent. 

“Zee’s got a new girlfriend.” It was almost a whisper but I still managed to hear it, to which my lips parted in shock, at the same time as my eyes widened. 

“What?! I thought things were working out fine between the two of you?” I can’t help but raise my voice when I saw Saint’s wet face soaked with his own tears. I didn’t notice that they were already flowing only until he looked down and I saw droplets from his eyes, watering the grass we were sitting on. 

“That was what I thought, too. I thought we were already on the same page.. I thought he liked me, too. But I saw him this morning, smiling from ear to ear after kissing a girl in her cheeks..” he cried harder. I didn’t know what to do so I just stroked my hands on his back, just if ever he can find comfort in my arms. 

“I’m sorry that you have to see that, Saint.” I leaned my head on his shoulder. I was keeping my tears to myself even though they wanted so bad to flow out from my eyes. I want to lift up his mood so maybe synching with his tears will not do him any good. If only I can, then I am more than willing to share his pain. 

“He was so engrossed at the idea that we are both a man so we can’t be together. He wanted to prove the world that he is not gay so he won’t ever like me. And lately, he’s been avoiding me.. like we’re complete strangers.” I can feel my chest tightening as he spoke. Not only because of his words but also because it felt like déjà vu. I think I’ve heard those words before, I just can’t remember exactly when. 

“Maybe-Maybe he has a deeper reason for his actions. Why not try to.. try to talk to him? You can’t just jump into conclusions or assume things without even knowing his side. Sometimes you also need to ask not to confront him but just to make your mind at peace.” 

Just wow. Where the hell did that come from, Gun Atthaphan? 

“I-I tried but.. he won’t talk to me.” I can hear him sobbing and every time he does, it makes me feel heavier inside of me. He seemed so happy talking about Zee the other day, how did he end up like this? 

It makes me feel a little scared. 

“Saint.. I-I really don’t know what to say. I’m sorry I can’t tell you a piece of advice or anything that can help you with Zee. Just.. just let it all out to me, share your pain to me. Now I will let you cry but promise me you will not cry over and over again, do you get it? I don’t know much about him but anyone who intently hurts you doesn’t deserve your tears, let alone your sincerest love. That’s the least I can tell you, Saint.” I hugged him through the side and placed my chin on his shoulder. He gently held on my arm and leaned his head on mine before I felt him letting out such a heavy sigh. 

I just hope he gets better soon. 

“Thank you, Gun.” He then smelled my hair. 

They know how much I love that act, so ever since we were in high school, they’re used to doing that. Especially New, he has always been the closest to me. Sometimes, he would hold my hand, carry me, and even give me piggy back rides whenever I feel too tired to walk. Jingjing, on the other hand, wants to play with my hands because she told me it looks cute, and that they're soft even though it's veiny. Fluke and Earth, they always want to pull someone else’s hair, especially each other’s. 

“Will you be okay alone? You can crash to my place anytime.” I decided to walk Saint on his way to his condo building’s lobby. I got worried when we were about to part so I told him that I will take him home. We already arrived in front of the building so he told me that this will be fine already. 

“I’m okay now. Thank you, Gun. I’m sorry for bothering you.” He gave me a small smile, a shy one, so I immediately waved my hand in front of him. 

“That’s nothing, I’m actually glad that you called me. I hope I was helpful enough to you.” I returned his' with a genuine smile. 

“Call me when you get home.” Saint told me for the nth time when I told him that I’ll get going now. I waved to him again before finally leaving, walking on my way back to my place.

It was a good thing his condo building is only a 15-minutes walk from mine so I got home easily. As what he had reminded me, I called him the moment I stepped inside my unit. 

I decided to take a bath after a few minutes of talking to him through the phone, dried my hair using the towel before hanging it on my clothes rack at the balcony. I felt the breezy air when I stepped outside so I chose to stay for a few more minutes. 

I looked at the sky and admired its beauty even in the darkness. The moon was on its fullest tonight, providing light to where I was standing. Millions of stars were scattered all over the sky. I rose my hand up and acted like I can reach for the stars.. silently wishing that I really can. And for a moment, it felt like the time stopped when a voice came in my head. 

_“Do you think he’s now one of those?”_

* * *

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_“Hi, can I sit here? There's no more seats available around,”_

_Lunch break has just begun. I arrived at the cafeteria a little late because my last class was held on the third floor and I can’t believe the cafeteria’s already full! It has never been this full! I can see familiar faces but almost half of the crowd seemed to be from different departments so I don’t really know them. And I mean it when I said that there were no more seats available around except for this one. The table was for two persons and one of those is still unoccupied so I might as well test my luck._

_The man, whom I asked permission for, raised his head up to look around before facing me. I was so ready to give him a genuine smile when it instantly faded the moment I had a clearer vision of his face._

_“Gun,” god, his voice sent shivers down to my spine. It felt like he was trying so hard not to punch me or what._

_“O-Off,”_

_“Yes, you can,” he pointed at the seat in front of him. I slowly took my seat there while still questioning myself on how the hell did I end up in this situation. Really? A lunch with this guy? Among all the people in the department? Or from the whole campus? With this guy, really?! How unlucky of me!_

_“T-Thanks,” I looked away when I noticed that he was trying to catch my eyes with his._

_It was slowly making me hella nervous, goddamn it!_

_Why the hell am I stuttering?! It’s just Off Jumpol, my goodness! The owner of the neck that I licked four freaking nights ago because I was intoxicated with some goddamn liquors! I just hope he doesn’t remember that time, though. I hope his memories will be good to me._

_“Sure,” he then went back to his eating. Geez, I can feel my whole body sweating cold bullets! What the hell is wrong with me?! I don’t even think he can still remember that._

_“Won’t you start eating?” He snapped a finger in front of my face when I zoned out for a moment. I must’ve look so stupid in front of him! I swear, I will immediately leave after finishing my food!_

_“Oh, ugh, right,” and so I started eating my lunch. I took a spoonful after another and ate as fast as I could. It was only after a few minutes before his utensils created a loud noise when he harshly let go of it. I looked up to him and so our eyes met._

_“You didn’t have to make it look so obvious that you don’t want me around you. It’s supposed to be the other way around, don’t you think?” He said in a stern voice. He sounded.. what? Upset? Mad?_

_“H-Huh? What are you.. saying?” I can’t help but look away because I remembered how shameless I was when I licked the salt off of his skin that night. Good god, why did I do that in the first place? I just licked this man’s neck down to his collarbone!_

_Where is your shame, Gun Atthaphan?!_

_“You were obviously thinking about what you did that night. You’re not that hard to read, after all.” He almost rolled his eyes but he still chose not to. Instead, he looked away and avoided my eyes, probably trying so hard to keep his cool._

_“I-I was drunk, I’m sorry about.. that night.” I looked down when I suddenly felt tense because of his sharp voice. I feel so embarrassed now that he is brushing it to my face. I never should’ve done that!_

_“Well, you should be. You made me clean up your fucking mess that night.”_

_My brows automatically furrowed at what he just said. I blinked my eyes multiple times but his reaction still hasn’t changed, he was still serious. I tried to recall my memories of that night but I really couldn’t find any.. I was too drunk back then. Too drunk to even open my eyes just to see who the person who brought me home was._

_“What mess?” Now he looks mad upon remembering that night._

_What did I do this time? What kind of mess did I do?_

_“Oh, you didn’t know?” He said in a very sarcastic voice. Wow, I’ve never felt so humiliated in front of someone!_

_This man and his attitude, really!_

_“Ahhh, right. You were too drunk that night to even remember that you fucking threw up on my car when I drove you home.”_

_Bloody hell.. please tell me I heard it wrong!_

_“I-I threw up on your.. on your car?!” I asked in disbelief. And it was not the only thing that made me this shocked. “And you.. a-and you drove me home?!”_

_He scoffed at my reaction, rolling his eyes and looking away like he was dissatisfied about it. Seriously, he had gotten to be the most sarcastic person I have ever met!_

_“You’re welcome,” he showed me a forced smile when he uttered those words in the most sarcastic way possible. I swear, if only this man didn’t do me good that night, I would’ve killed him already! What a badass attitude he really has! That’s precisely one of the main reasons why I never really talk to him aside from school related stuff._

_“I’m sorry,” I tried so hard to make it sound sincere but he just snickered at me._

_“You don’t seem like one to me,” he simply said. I can now feel my blood reaching its boiling point and I don’t think I can hold it any longer._

_“You know what, if you don’t want to accept my apology, then the joke is on you now. I told you I was drunk and I can’t remember anything from that night. Why not try to be considerate even just for a little?” I fought my inner self so hard just so I won’t roll my eyes at him. I didn’t want to be on the same level as his rudeness.. but I can’t help it anymore._

_“Ahhh, so I wasn’t considerate enough when I decided to drive you home, carried you to your room, changed your shirt that’s full of your own vomit, and cleaned your shit on my car?” He said, emphasizing the words ‘my car’. He even raised his hand to start counting on how many ’considerate’ things he had already done that night._

_“Y-You carried me.. to my.. to my room?! And you.. changed my-my shirt?!” Geez, when will he stop saying things that will only make me shocked? Damn, I didn't know those parts had ever existed!_

_Now, I was about to apologize, sincerely this time, when he suddenly stood up. He hanged his bag on his right shoulder before picking up the dishes he used._

_“You know what, just forget it.”_

And then I woke up panting a little with a hand on my tightening chest, trying to control my breathing so the pain would ease.


	5. 4

“Fluke, Earth!” It was just 7 AM in the morning and my classes will start at 9 so I still have plenty of time to spend breakfast with them. They were the first ones to arrive, our three other friends informed us that they’re still on their ways. 

Ugh, as if they live outside Bangkok, though? 

We greeted each other good mornings and gave small cheek kisses before I sat on my usual seat from P’Mild’s coffee shop. The sun’s rays hit my arm so it looked a little orange. I don’t actually mind, though, my parents told me that the sun provides Vitamins from 6 AM to 9 AM. 

Healthy lifestyle, well.. 

“Good morning!” Jingjing’s voice filled the whole shop when she stepped in, entrancing with her modelling walk. 

She is indeed a model, no doubts. 

“Good morning, beautiful.” I greeted, making her giggle. She gave the three of us some cheek kisses before taking the seat beside me. She wrapped her arms around mine before leaning her head on my shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked when I noticed that she was playing with my fingers. She always does that when she’s spacing out or thinking over a lot of things. 

“Nothing, really,” she said in a soft voice. 

“You know I know that when a girl says it’s nothing, then it says otherwise, right?” I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling. She once told me that quote. 

Well, girls and their ways of complicating simple things. 

“It’s just that.. lately I’ve been receiving some foul words from the fans of other models.” I glanced at her and saw that she was pouting. She kinda looked like a gorgeous duck but I didn’t want to tease her, not when she’s being bothered with some stupid bashers. 

“Don’t mind them, Jing. They’re just envious because you are you.” I said in a soft voice. She looked at me with her perfectly trimmed brows a little furrowed. 

“What do you mean?” Her eyes were somehow confused and.. hopeful. 

“You are Jingjing.” I simply said, emphasizing each word. “You are kind, you’re stunning, outstanding, friendly, well-known, and a whole lot more that they are not aware of. You take care of the people dearest to your heart. You never hesitate to help other people. You usually don't let some bashers bother you.” 

Her reaction softened and a later on, I felt her arms hugging me tighter through my waist. I can’t help but giggle because she sniffed on my neck for a second. 

“Thank you, Gun. You’re really the best.” She plotted a soft kiss on my cheek after saying those words. 

“Get a room, you two.” I turned to look at where the voice came from and there, I saw Tay Tawan holding Newwiee’s hand while the other one was hidden inside his pocket. 

As if his boyfriend will get lost, though. 

“And who the hell invited this prick?” I heard Saint’s voice. I tried to look for him but he suddenly showed up from the couple’s back. Now I can’t help but laugh when I saw Tay’s offended reaction because Saint called him a ‘prick’. 

Boy, it was so hilarious! 

“He just basically invited himself.” New rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, trying to remove his hand from the man’s grip. 

“Oh, not just myself. I also invited my friends!” Tay happily said which surprised us but not actually in a good way. 

Not for Saint, I think.

“What?!” It was Saint who was the most shocked, not seeing anything good about Tay’s idea. 

“Don’t worry, not all of them can turn up.” Tay shamelessly stole a chair from the other table before placing it beside New. 

“I don’t care! I’m supposed to have a peaceful breakfast with my friends! My friends! Newwiee, do something!” Saint’s voice rose up a little while emphasizing the words ‘my friends’. He created a loud noise when he slammed his hand on the table. 

Goodness, it instantly turned red. 

“What’s wrong, Saint?” Fluke asked him after a wave of silence. All eyes are on him now, suspicious as to why he would suddenly react like that. Usually his ears would clap whenever we have the other boys around. 

“I just.. don’t want to see that asshole friend of his.” He glared at Tay when he said the word ‘his’. And this man, really.. he teased my friend even more by holding his hands up like surrendering. 

“What has he done this time?” Tay asked him, face confused and screaming ‘Ugh, they’re arguing again?’ 

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Saint looked away from him, not wanting to entertain our friend’s partner. 

“Maybe I can-” Tay was cut off from speaking when the entrance door of the coffee shop opened, hitting the chimes which made a pleasant sound for a morning. P’Mild’s voice immediately filled the room when she saw the person who had just entered. 

“Off Jumpol! You haven’t been here for ages! Gun’s over there with his friends.” She said in a hyped voice, pointing to where I was so Off’s eyes followed it. 

When our eyes met, a sweet smile escaped from his lips. He thanked P’Mild first before walking towards our table, stood behind Tay, who was seated beside New who happened to sit beside me. So basically, he is only half a meter away from my place. 

“Good morning,” he simply greeted us with a thin smile. Wow, he kinda looks gorgeous on a white dress shirt and black jeans. His hair splits in the middle but he still looks downright handsome. 

Well, I think that has always been a given. 

“See, I told you not everyone can turn up to my invites.” Tay proudly raised his arms and shrugged before glancing at his friend. He was obviously the only one who seemed to be happy about the idea of inviting his friends. 

“I’m just here for this.” Off held on Tay’s back shirt before forcefully pulling his friend up. The latter immediately asked for his boyfriend’s help when Off tightened the grip on his shirt, almost choking him. 

“New, let me just borrow this boyfriend of yours for a day. My friends and I need him for something.” Off ignored Tay’s glaring eyes and tiger growls that were all directed to him. 

It was not even scary at all, it was more humorous than frightening. 

“Will he really be helpful to you guys?” New scoffed, making all of us chuckle when Tay almost threw a hand at him. My friend was not even moved by the threats from his partner.. geez. 

Did these two get in a relationship just to pull on each other's sleeves? I wonder. 

“I will make sure he will be.” Off playfully saluted to us before waving his hand then pulling Tay out through his shirt. He was about to take another step when he suddenly stopped, making Tay to bump his face on the other man’s shoulder. 

“Right, I forgot something,” he let go of Tay’s shirt before walking back to our table.. in front of me, to be exact, which made me a little confused. He got something from his pocket before reaching his arm out to me. 

“I also came here for this,” 

My right hand slowly made its way up so it could reach for whatever Off was handing me. I looked at him when our skins touched and for a moment.. I think the time stopped because I saw a soft smile formed on his lips. 

“We’ll go now,” and so again, he went back to Tay and pulled the latter out, through his shoulder this time. When they disappeared from my sight, I looked down on my hand where a folded small paper was placed. I opened it and there, I saw a messy handwriting.. with a short context. 

**Meet me at the usual place after your classes**. 

* * *

“Usual place.. usual place,” it was already my last class but I still can’t remember where that ‘usual place’ from Off’s note was. 

After Off and Tay left the coffee shop just this morning, my friends and I tried to guess where that usual place would be. But in the end, we got no answers at all because they told me that they don’t have any idea where Off and I go whenever we’re together even before the accident. 

Now I wonder.. was I that secretive? Or was it Off who is? Did I really not tell my friends a thing or two about Off and I’s whereabouts? 

“Hey,” Arm lightly slapped my forehead which made me pull myself out from my own thoughts. I looked at him with tiger eyes, ready to throw a hand back when he spoke again. “What were you thinking, huh? You didn’t even give a wai to the professor when he was about to leave.” He bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing.

What?! The professor already left?! When I looked around, that’s the only time I realized that Arm and I were the only ones left inside the classroom. I dramatically slapped my hand on my forehead when Arm chuckled at my reaction. 

“I wasn’t even thinking about anything.” I denied.. but what a bad liar, really! 

“Oh yeah, and fish balls have balls.” Arm playfully rolled his eyes before giving me a lazy look. “I’ve been calling your name for like.. 15 times already.” He showed me both of his hands which shows one and five fingers. “You keep on saying ‘usual place.. usual place..’ like a freaking madman, boy.” He shook his head while having a playful smile on his lips. Both of us went out of the room after packing up our stuff. 

“Can I ask something?” I suddenly asked him when I remembered what I was thinking about ever since this morning. 

“Go ahead,” he gave me a single nod. I think he has no more classes left for today since he was also heading out of the building. 

“Has Off ever mentioned something to you about his usual place?” I tilted my head a little to the side, making him look at me. 

“No, I don’t remember him sharing something like that to us.” His brows furrowed a little and lips pursed before he shook his head. “Why’d you ask?” He moved his head to show me the stairs that we are about to reach.

“He told me to meet him at the usual place after my classes.” I pouted when I still can’t remember where it would be. 

Has Off forgotten that I recently got into an accident and woke up with an amnesia about him and all of our memories? Why would he tell me that? As if I didn’t forget everything about him?

“I’m sorry I don’t really know. Off mostly prefers to be where he can have some fresh air or a nice view. Our friends and I sometimes find it as his alone time so we never really go to places like that with him. Especially not with him because he wants silence and peace which is definitely not on our friends’ vocabularies.” Arm can’t help but smile, probably remembering some moments with his chaotic friends. 

“Oh, right, I have to go, Gun. Alice must be waiting for me by now, I don’t want to die yet.” His smile widened even more upon mentioning his girlfriend’s name, waved to me first before patting my shoulder then finally leaving, walking on his way to the Multimedia Arts Faculty. Now, I was left alone, walking at the sidewalk while still thinking about Off's usual place. 

“Usual place.. usual place..” 

And then suddenly, I remembered a thing that Arm said.. 

_“Off mostly prefers to be where he can have some fresh air or a nice view.”_

And remembered another thing..

_“I just wanna have some time alone.”_

“Right!” I exclaimed the moment I remembered where the ‘usual place’ could be. I just hope I got it right. I started walking fast just so I could arrive there in no time. It took me almost half an hour before I finally reached the place. 

The walk was damn exhausting! I should’ve booked a taxi or what! 

“Is this the right place?” I roamed my eyes around, trying to look for the person who told me to go here. 

Or was I at the wrong place? 

I walked around and sooner reached the end of the hill where a tall tree that, I think, has been standing for decades now, is. I was about to leave when I found no hints of Off Jumpol in the place.. but someone suddenly spoke up. 

“It is,” 

I tried to search for the voice but I found no one around me. I even walked around to go closer to some places where someone can hide but still found no one behind. Was I just hearing things? Was it my ears playing with me? Is this place-

“Goodness!” I held my chest in shock when someone suddenly showed up in front of me. I was even more startled when I realized that the person came down from the tree. He fucking jumped off this tall tree.. and not just any other tall tree but a tall tree on a fucking cliff! 

“Off Jumpol, what were you thinking?!” 

* * *

“Goddamn it, Jumpol! Why would you do that?! You nearly gave me a freaking heart attack!” I hit his arm for the odds know how many times already but he still won’t stop laughing. This man, really! 

Was it really joyful for him seeing other people get fucking worried? 

“Worried, aren’t we?” He gave me a playful smirk before raising his brow up and down. Wow, now he’s playing with me, huh?! 

“Who wouldn’t be?! You just jumped off a tree on the edge of a cliff. A cliff, Jumpol! A high cliff! You could’ve landed at the wrong spot or-or tripped on your own feet! Ugh, you-you dumbass!” I dramatically pointed at the tall tree beside us but he only gave it a single glance with a playful smile. What an asshole, really! 

He sat on the floor with his crossed legs before tapping the space next to him, urging me to sit there.. and so I did. I raised my knees up and hugged my legs before leaning my chin on it. 

“What were you thinking, huh?” I let out a heavy sigh before asking him that. I think my chest tightened because of the shock. Now, I’m giving my all just so I could calm and stop myself from killing this man. 

“Nothing much,” he shrugged at my question before looking in front of us where we have the breathtaking access to the whole city down there and the skies up above. Its color has just turned orange and pink because of the sunset, white clouds scattered around the setting sun. 

Wow, this place is beautiful. I think this is perfect for stargazing and meteor shower watching. Or when you had a bad day, you got so exhausted, you will instantly feel relaxed when you go here. That’s the feeling.. that’s the relaxation you can get from this place. 

I didn’t know Off has that sentimental side to be in this kind of place. But, just like what Arm said, Off prefers to be alone where he can have some fresh air or a nice view.. and this is the perfect place for it. 

That is definitely something I didn’t know I would see in him. 

“Were you on your right mind?” I bluntly said but still in disbelief, not getting his point of why he would suddenly jump off a tree that’s standing on the edge of a cliff. 

As if he won’t die if he accidentally jumped off the cliff itself. Stupid ass. 

“I was just up there to have some fresh air.” He pointed at the trunk of the tree, most probably where he sat earlier. 

“You can’t possibly have fresh air here. We’re in a city, crowded and polluted.” I was being sarcastic but I still can’t help but roll my eyes to nowhere, not letting him see it once again. 

“That’s precisely why I went up there, I’ll have the fresh oxygen directed to my face all by myself.” He bit his lower lip to stop himself from smiling, looking proud and absolutely enjoying what he did. 

Ugh, goodness! Please give me a huge amount of patience because I badly need a whole lot more right now! 

“Something worse could’ve happened back there. You shouldn’t have done that!” Now I couldn’t stop myself anymore when I suddenly snapped, raising my voice just a little which made him shocked. 

I didn’t know where the sudden burst of emotion came from. 

“You surely are scolding me in the most exaggerated way like you haven’t done that before. Yours were even more dangerous than mine.” A soft chuckle escaped from his lips, making me turn to him with lips a little parted. He was shaking his head while having a soft smile. I was about to throw another sermon when I realized what he just said. 

“I-I did that before?” My mouth opened when I looked up to the trunk then back to him. 

“Yeah, twice. You were trembling the first time you did it so you fell on your knees when you jumped off.” He once again bit his lower lip before looking down to play his hands with the grass. 

And for a moment, a wave of silence reigned between the two of us.. 

_“Gun, it’s getting darker. Jump now,” it was Off shouting. When I tried to look for him, I saw him down there.. while I was left alone in this trunk._

_“I’m-I’m scared.. this tree is too high!” I hugged the tree tighter when I felt my hands shaking.. and my whole body sweating cold bullets. Good god, how did I end up in this situation, anyway?_

_“Okay, I’m going home now.” This tall guy waved his hand up to me before taking a few steps._

_“Off Jumpol, don’t you dare!” I tried to threaten him using my voice but it was no use. He continued on walking back to his freaking motorcycle. Ugh, goddamn it!_

_I have to do this right. I don’t wanna die yet!_

_And the next thing I knew, my feet were already touching the ground.. followed by my knees. I felt my whole body weakening and it eventually fell on the floor like I just lost all the energy I have left._

_“See, you didn’t die, right?” Someone was standing next to my ears so I opened my eyes only to see Off freaking Jumpol smiling from ear to ear._

_“Almost,”_

“Do you remember it now?” I turned to look at Off when he asked me that. My lips pursed before my head started nodding slowly, looking at him dumbfounded. 

“But, just a little,” it was almost a whisper but I’m sure he heard that because he was nodding when he looked away from me. 

“That’s good,”

* * *

_**FEBRUARY, 2018.** _

_“Tay, hi! Have you.. ugh.. seen Off?” Goodness, I didn’t have to sound that awkward! Now Tay looked at me suspiciously as if I was one of the most possible prospects._

_Wow, Gun the great!_

_“Why are you suddenly looking for my Peng, huh?” He squinted his eyes before giving me a playful smirk. Who wouldn’t find it suspicious, right? Off and I never really get along even inside the class. I can say that we just met each other that night at the high-end bar. That was, I think, the first time we personally talked without the mention of academics._

_“We.. just-” I was cut off from speaking when Tay’s crazy group of friends came running to where the two of us were standing. They all raised their brows up and down to me, leaning their ears closer to where I was so they can hear me better._

_“So.. speak now, Gun. Why are you suddenly looking for my Peng?” Tay even crossed his arms before giving me a judging look. His friends did the same before looking at me like they were already criticizing me in their minds._

_“Oh, did something happen that night?” Arm dramatically covered his parted mouth with both of his hands before looking at me with his exaggeratingly widened eyes._

_Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have come here!_

_“No, nothing, of course not!” I immediately defended while waving my hands and shaking my head.. but, I don’t think that convinced them._

_“Defensive, aren’t we?” Mike slowly reached for his chin and acted like he was thinking about something mysterious._

_“What?! You asked me a question and my answer is no. Of course I will be defensive because nothing really happened that night. I am just here to talk to your friend.” I furrowed my brows at them but they were not even moved by my glares. They even smirked, for Pete’s sake!_

_“Now, you sound guilty. This is confusing,” White massaged his temple, acting like he got stressed or what._

_Ugh, I should probably leave!_

_I let out a heavy sigh before turning my back against them, so ready to lash out when Toy suddenly spoke._

_“Off left just a few minutes ago. He said he’s got someone to meet for dinner so we don’t really know where he is.” He simply said._

_My shoulders fell down upon hearing the name of his friend and the next words after it. I knew I shouldn’t have come but.. I was just testing my luck if I can see him here. I want to apologize so bad because I think I was a little rude back there during lunch break._

_I was not aware that he did those good things for me that night.._

_“Huh? Where’d you get that? Peng didn’t even text me anything.” I looked back to them when I heard Tay’s response to Toy. All eyes are on the two of them now. I was starting to get confused because of these two._

_“I just made that up,” the latter playfully chuckled, making all of us sigh and roll our eyes at him. He earned a lot of hits from his crazy friends because of what he did but he just continued on laughing._

_“Oh! How about this? We will tell you where Off is if you tell us why you suddenly want to talk to him!” Zee got all of our attention when his hand raised like he just got a brilliant idea. I saw how Kao leaned his arm on Ohm’s shoulder before the two of them did a high-five. As usual, they’re just silent and behaved._

_Hell no, I will never tell them a thing or two about this thing. Never!_

_I should’ve just left when I had the chance a while ago._

_“I believe this is too personal so this is basically just between Off and I. I better leave,” I tiptoed from their deal, not wanting to give them even a tiny amount of hint. I turned my back against them when I decided to leave, and this time I planned that it’s for real.. but, Kao’s words made me stop._

_Ugh, when can I ever leave this place?!_

_“Oh, too personal.. now we’re talking,” when I turned to him, he was raising his brow up and down to me. Goodness, even Kao?! I didn’t know he is just as crazy as his friends! I thought he was the most silent and most behaved but I absolutely thought wrong!_

_Earth, what is this?!_

_“Now, I’m curious,” I heard Ohm. I sighed heavily before shaking my head, removing all of my thoughts and their words inside of it._

_“Oh, I bet it’s about the body shot that night. You know what, Gun, that’s just a challenge. We were all drunk that time, you know? No malice, and Off doesn’t even give a damn over that thing.” I automatically went stunned and speechless when Gunsmile confidently said that before he went closer to pat me on my shoulder._

_Bloody hell.. they remember that night?!_

_“Better keep your mouth shut,” someone from behind us smacked Gunsmile at the back of his head.. earning a loud growl from this guy._

_“What the hell was that for?” Gunsmile massaged the part of his head where Off hit him. Their friends can’t help but laugh when Gunsmile was about to throw a hand back to Off but it stopped midway when the latter glared at him. All of a sudden, he’s a well-behaved kitten._

_“Why are you here?” Off stood in front of me, purposely ignoring Gunsmile’s curses for him. Now, I suddenly can’t talk.. not in front of him and his chaotic friends. They will surely use this against me!_

_“I just- ugh.. I need to talk to you.. even just for a second?” I looked away when I couldn’t handle his gazes._

_Ugh, I’m just making myself look stupid! Stuttering, really?! Gun Atthaphan, where’s your confidence now?!_

_“Then, speak now,” he tilted his head for a second before looking at me with a lazy look._

_Whoa, I’ve never felt so conscious.. his gazes are too intimidating._

_“Absolutely not with them around.” I awkwardly looked at each of his friends who are still definitely paying their full attention to the two of us. When they heard what I said, they started acting hurt and crying, either holding their chest or sniffing in the fakest way possible._

_“Wow, I’ve never felt so out of place until now.” White dramatically held on his chest before burying his face on Mike’s shoulder. The latter, adding fuel to the fire, acted like he was comforting White by stroking his hand on his friend’s back. Toy also joined them, sniffing like a child with colds._

_“Whoa, you didn’t have to kick us out just to have Off on your own. You could’ve just booked a room or something.” Tay simply said before giving me an offended look with his hand placed on his chest. Arm did the same gesture before mumbling something to his friend._

_“Even my own mother won’t kick me out like this.” Zee acted like he was wiping his own tears and sniffing like he’s got a runny nose._

_Damn, when will these people grow up?_

_“Get out of here, all of you.” Off’s voice made everyone stop.. and eventually look at him in shock. His face seemed like he was starting to get so done with his friends and his voice sent shivers down to my spine. I think my knees trembled for a moment because of the way he uttered those words, it sounded so authoritative it will immediately get you moving._

_“I’m going now, I don’t wanna die yet!” Gunsmile, who just received a beating from Off, immediately ran away, leaving his friends with this man who has been giving them a death glare._

_“No matter what happens, I will stay here!” Zee stood upright like a knight ready to welcome a royalty. Off just took a step towards them, making all of his friends shake in fear. “Or maybe not. Bye!” And so, Zee followed Gunsmile away from this place._

_Whoa, I didn’t know Off has that kind of effect on his friends._

_“We’re going now,” Ohm made his friends turn their backs against us before dragging them away, purposely showing Off that he is the best one._

_“Just take it easy with the shorty! Okay, Jumpol?” Arm shouted before teasingly waving his hands to us. Off just rolled his eyes before giving his leaving friends another death glare. I saw the way Tay eye contacted him.. making the latter kick the air as if it would reach his friend._

_When they all disappeared from our sight, Off turned to me before pushing his hair back using his fingertips. He gave me another lazy look afterwards, brows furrowed and head tilted a little to the side._

_Wow, he kinda looked gorgeous when he did that._

_“What now, shorty?” He asked with a hint of annoyance. I wanted so much to argue with him because he just called me shorty but I remembered that I still have a fault. I remembered that I went here to apologize so I decided to just drop the issue off._

_“I’m- ugh..” damn, cat suddenly got my tongue. Why the hell did it have to be now?! Blame this tall guy, then! His stares are too intimidating!_

_“What?” I think he wanted so bad to roll his eyes but I also think he knew what I was trying to say so he remained a little patient. I let out a heavy sigh before counting one to three.. and damn, I almost rehearsed some lines inside my head. But when I looked at him and saw his emotionless face, I remembered what he did for me that night._

_“You know what? Stop wasting my time, just forget it.” Off shook his head, most probably in disappointment and annoyance, before turning his back against me. He was so ready to leave when I used my words to stop him.. and I’m glad it was effective._

_“I’m sorry,”_

And then I heard my phone ringing.. which woke me up from my sleep. 


	6. 5

“Yes, mom. I’ll see you later,” I said before hanging up the call. Today’s a weekend, finally! I have no class schedule for today so I agreed to go home when mom asked me to. She said she’s got another recipe to brag about so who am I to refuse, right? And besides, I suddenly miss her dishes.

I was already drying my hair with my white towel, still with no top shirt but with jeans on. I had a hard time choosing what to wear so I ended up wearing an oversized plain white shirt which falls on my shoulder blades, my most common one. 

After half an hour or so, I went out of my unit and locked my door. I only brought a small clutch bag with me where I stored my phone, keys, card holder and purse. I went down to the parking lot and drove my way out to the nearest grocery store. 

Mom asked me to buy a few groceries she will be needing for the upcoming days. She never really leaves the kitchen.. it has always been her most favorite part of the house. But, we have no problem with that, though. All we do is to spoil her with groceries and new kitchen utensils or any other sets for the kitchen. 

After parking my car, I went out and brought my bag with me. It was a good thing I went here early on a weekend because it’s not that crowded today. I started putting everything my mom needs inside the basket, and also put some for me, my siblings and for my condo. I just felt the need to have a lot of stocks because lately, my friends have been visiting my unit.. or sometimes they plan to go but they just can’t find their mutual free time. 

“Gun Atthaphan, is that you?” I heard someone from behind. When I turned to look at who the person was, I was surprised to see Doc Hero in front of me. 

“Doctor Wanaka,” I returned the same smile he gave me. He was in his casual clothes so I assume he’s on a day off for today, also holding a basket just like me. 

“How have you been?” He simply asked. 

“Doing great, Doc. Actually I can remember some memories now. Little by little,” I tilted my head to the side before showing him my fingers which were formed into a ‘little’ gesture, to which he happily nodded after glancing at my fingers.

“That’s good to hear. I’m glad you’re not having a hard time retrieving your own memories.” He gave me a single pat on the shoulder after he said that. 

“I had, for the first days. I already took half of the medicine you prescribed, Doc. But, lately I’ve been dreaming about some parts of my forgotten memories so I can already remember it whenever I wake up. And sometimes I can remember some scenarios if I find something familiar.” I gave him a reassuring look. His face got worried when I mentioned the first two sentences but it eventually softened. 

“Does your head still ache? Even sometimes?” His brows furrowed a little when he asked that so I immediately shook my head as a no. 

“Not really, not anymore. I think it’s getting better now, Doc.” I gave him a convincing smile to which he nodded. 

“You still need to come to the hospital just in case something worse happens, and for some monthly check-ups. Okay? I will make sure to keep in contact with your parents just to have some updates about your condition.” Now, he’s in his formal voice. Wow, he sounds so professional all of a sudden. 

“Yes, Doc.” I nodded to him. He once again gave me a shoulder pat before smiling. 

“I have to go now, kid. My wife’s going to kill me because of the groceries.” He chuckled when he looked down to the basket. It was full of vegetables, some fresh fruits and boxes of fresh milk. 

“Okay, Doc. Thank you so much,” I simply said before giving him a small smile. He just reminded me a few more things before finally leaving. 

And so I just continued buying mom’s groceries then I went to the counter afterwards. Good thing there’s no long queue because I think that my mom will also kill me now if I got home late.. more like, if I got her groceries late. 

After almost ten minutes, I was already walking out of the grocery store with two paper bags wrapped around my arms. I placed it on the back seat before maneuvering the car. On my way home, I drove past the cliff where Off and I stayed and watched the sunset time the other day. 

It was still too hot outside so the atmosphere is not as beautiful as the one from the other day. 

Almost an hour went by until I finally arrived in front of our house. The helpers opened the gate for me, they also helped me with the groceries. When I went out, Nong Gui was already running towards me. Grace was following him from behind, and our parents behind her. 

“How have you been?” Dad asked me when I carried Nong Gui. He had mom wrapped around his arm and the other hand was placed inside his pocket. 

“I’ve been doing good, Dad.” Mom gave me a tight hug when I got closer to where they were. After a few more minutes of slightly catching up, we finally went inside. I followed Mom when she went to the kitchen. She first checked on the groceries I bought before giving me a flying kiss. 

“So, what’s up for today’s menu?” I acted like a customer. I sat on a high chair in front of the island counter before resting my elbows on it. 

“Secret, it’s not gonna be a surprise if I tell you now.” She gave me a daring look before playfully twirling around her kitchen. Ugh, she normally does that. 

“Then, I’ll just be in my room while waiting.” I stood up before giving her a soft kiss on the cheek then leaving. I headed upstairs and went straight to my room. When I opened it, I noticed that nothing has changed. 

I can’t help but chuckle when I spotted the five balloons Mom had given me on the day I got discharged from the hospital. Its laces were tied in the chair in front of my study table. Even the bouquet of flowers Dad has given me is still here. I was a little surprised when I realized that the flowers were still blossoming. When I carried it up, a small card fell from it. I wasn’t aware that the bouquet comes with a small card. I picked it up from the floor before looking at it and there.. I saw a simple short message. 

**Get well now, please.**

My heart skipped a beat. I didn’t know Dad has a soft side for flowers.. especially if they’re for me. Or maybe it was Mom who bought it but she made him hold it for her? Anyway, I still find it cute and sweet. 

I put the bouquet back to the side table before sitting on the edge of the bed, and laid my body down when I suddenly felt tired. It was only after a few minutes before I heard my phone beeping as it received a notification. I opened it and saw a name..

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Good morning. Are you busy?**

I typed a reply to him when I felt the need to. 

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Not really, but I went home to my parents.**

Oh god, he was immediately typing! 

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Oh, that’s great news, then.**

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Everything ok?**

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Of course, of course. Nothing to worry about :)**

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Ok, then.**

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**Why’d you ask, anyway?**

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Are you going to stay the night there?**

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**I don’t think so. My friends and I will hang out tomorrow morning so I’m driving back to my condo tonight.**

**From: Off Jumpol**   
**Okay, then. Have a great day :)**

**To: Off Jumpol**   
**You, too!**

And so I placed my phone down on my stomach.. sooner a few minutes passed, my eyes closed. 

* * *

_**FEBRUARY, 2018.** _

_“What did you say?” Off looked back to me, face a little confused and shocked as if he never saw that coming._

_“I’m sorry for being rude back there during lunch time. I didn’t know you.. did those things to me. I can’t remember much about that night. I’m sorry for troubling you, and.. and thank you for bringing me home safe.” I looked down when I suddenly felt shy. I started playing with my fingers when I felt nervous because a few seconds had already passed but he was still unresponsive._

_“Okay,”_

_My eyes lit when I looked up to him, surprised that he instantly accepted my apology._

_Wow, I didn’t know Off has that side of him!_

_“I don’t even mind and I don’t want to bother myself thinking about it.” He said in a stern voice. “I only did that because you were more of a corpse than a human when you laid down the couch after passing out. Your friends were all as wasted as you were so they surely can’t bring you home. I was the only one who’s sober enough to bring you back to your condo because it was only two blocks away from mine.” He shook his head a little before giving me another lazy look._

_“I passed out?! Like, I literally passed out at the bar?!” I asked in disbelief. Good god, why the hell did I have to pass out in front of him and his friends? They probably see me as a lightweight drinker now! My ego is hurting!_

_I didn't know why but I somehow felt offended when he bit his lower lip first before looking at me with amused eyes.. and smirk._

_“Who wouldn’t if you have already finished half of the bottle of Tequila even before we got back? And you even joined the body shots which took you guys almost five rounds, I think? Plus the fact that you ordered another bucket of beer just to compete with my friends.” He shrugged before hiding his hands inside his pockets, giving me a judging look like I did something horrible._

_Wow, I didn’t know I could drink that much. Now, I’m proud of myself!_

_“I’m sorry again for the trouble. And-And thank you for doing me good that night.” I gave him a genuine smile. I will make sure to pay him back next time!_

_“Are you also sorry and thankful for using my body?”_

_“W-What?” I was immediately stiffened when he suddenly asked me that. I? Used his.. his body? I wanted to argue with him about that but I suddenly remembered the body shots.. damn it! Why did he have to bring that up?!_

_“I-I used your.. your bo-dy?” I pointed to myself and then to him, trying to act innocent, but he only scoffed in amusement._

_“You shamelessly used me for your body shots. I’m pretty sure you can remember that,” he simply said, emphasizing the words ‘you’ and ‘your’._

_Shit! I expected him not to remember those! Now, I’m doomed! Damn it!_

_“I’m sorry, I can’t remember doing-” I was cut off from speaking when he chuckled for the nth time already.. making me stunned. He looked at me like I just did something ridiculous while he was shaking his head._

_“You surely wouldn’t be blushing right now if you can’t remember what you did that night.” He took a step closer which made me step back._

_Good god, is he seriously teasing me right now?_

_“Didn’t I use you only once for the first body shot?” The question came out almost a whisper._

_Sure I remember that licking his neck for that first shot but it was only once.. right? Or was it not?_

_“Definitely not, kid. Surely, you licked not just my neck._ ” 

“What the hell?!” I felt my heart beating so fast, ready to burst in any minute because of my stupid dream. 

When I got all my senses back, I started questioning myself if that was really just a dream or it was actually another part of my forgotten memories? Damn it, my memories were surely not being good to me if this never really happened before!

“I will never drink again!” I pulled my hair down in frustration. I was frustrated because I realized that it was a part of my forgotten memories.. not just a creation of my imaginative mind. I knew it was real.. because it was somehow connected to my last dream. 

The fuck is that..

“Ugh, bullshit!” I shook my head harshly to remove all the dirty thoughts that started filling my head when I remembered his last words from my dream. 

Damn, was I really that wild when we first met that I seriously took all the shots from his body? 

“P’Gun,” a knock from the door pulled me out from my own thoughts. It was Nong Grace who’s calling me so I stood up to open it. 

“Mom has just finished her cooking. She asked me to call you now.” She then gave me a small smile. The two of us headed downstairs where the three of them are already waiting. I sat beside mom, having Nong Gui in front of me. 

“I hope you’ll like it,” she said in an excited voice. 

We started eating lunch when mom finished preparing everything. She said her newly-learnt dish is called Beef Broccoli. She probably saw it from YouTube or some cookbooks she got in here. It was actually good, especially with rice. 

“Right, how’s your situation now? Are you getting any better, son?” Mom asked me in a soft voice which made all of their eyes look at me, except Gui. 

“I’m starting to remember things little by little.” It was the safest answer. I still can’t retrieve everything but surely it will come flashing back to me sooner or later. 

“That’s great news. How’s Off doing? Do you remember him now?” She asked again, making me look at her at the sudden mention of the tall guy’s name. 

“I know him now and we’re actually hanging out with some of our friends sometimes. He helps me in bringing my memories back so I think he’s good.” I simply answered before sipping on my glass of water. 

But, up until now I still don’t have an answer as to why he was the only one I forgot. How come I remember everyone and everything, even my childhood, except him? It feels so odd. 

“That’s great, I always knew he would be a good friend to you.” 

* * *

“Drive safe,” mom gave me a soft kiss on the cheek when I was about to go inside my car. It was already past 7 PM and I had a nice dinner with them. I also wanted to stay like what mom kept on asking me to, but.. I can’t. I already gave my word to my friends so I can’t ditch them.. and besides, I told my mom about it and she understands. 

I started maneuvering the car after bidding goodbyes to them. It took me almost two hours of driving before I finally arrived at the parking lot of my condo building. After entering my place, I came running to my bedroom and landed my own body at the soft mattress. I felt so exhausted after long hours of sitting inside my car. 

I was about to stand up when my phone rang as it received a call from the name Off Jumpol. I answered it after a few rings of thinking if I should or not. In the end, I still did, thinking that maybe it was something important. 

“Hey,” I greeted first, grabbed a pillow before placing it at the back of my head so I could lie down comfortably. 

“Hey, Gun,” he simply greeted back. I think he sounded soft just now? 

Or maybe I was just imagining things.. why would he soften his voice to me, anyway? Right?

“I was just wondering if you already got home because I just woke up and it’s already dark outside.” How come I can see him speaking even though he’s not here? 

“I just got home,” my lips even formed a small smile like it was already used to it, although he can’t see it from here. “Right! I have something to ask,” I suddenly said when I remembered my dream from earlier. 

“Go ahead, anything,” he simply replied. 

“I dreamt about you earlier-” 

“Really? You dreamt about me?” His voice sounded like he was amused because I even heard a small chuckle from the other line. 

“Yeah, and it was somehow connected to my last dream about you. Now here’s the thing,” I cleared my throat first before letting out a sigh. “My dream ended when you and I were talking and you said I licked not just your neck for the body shots.” I shut my eyes tight before playing my fingers with my shirt. 

“Oh so it was really connected to your last dream..” he said in an amused way. I also noticed that my dreams whenever I’m sleeping are continuations of the previous one. It was starting to get easy on retrieving all of my memories back. 

“Is that true?” It was almost a whisper but I know he still managed to hear that. The topic seemed too sensitive for me so it makes me feel a little shy. 

How the hell did I end up introducing myself to this guy in the wildest way possible, anyway?

“What do you think?” He teased even more. Good god, I can almost hear him smirking! How the hell is that?

“Off, just go straight to the point.” My voice obviously seemed a little impatient which made him chuckle. Even his chuckle sounds angelic through the phone. Wait..

Bloody hell.. am I whipped over Off Jumpol?!

“Impatient, aren’t we?” He said in another teasing tone. 

“If you don’t wanna tell me about it then just-” Off’s words got me hanging when he cut me off again for the second time. 

“The back of my hand,” he simply said. I was about to sigh in relief when nothing came from his lips anymore but it was stopped even before I could release it. “My shoulder blade.. my nape and..” now he is trying to test my patience by making me wait. 

This man, really! 

“And?” I asked in a slightly annoyed voice. A soft chuckle filled my ears from the other line which made me stunned for a second. 

“And my palm,” he simply said. 

And just like that.. a memory flashed on my mind. 

_“Where else?” I asked him in confusion. I didn’t know I took all the shots from his body! Damn those Tequila bottles!_

_“You seriously wanna know where else did you licked me that night?”_

_Oh geez! He made it sound so sexual, my goodness!_

_My whole body immediately started sweating cold bullets at the same time as my heart started beating fast like it would explode any minute by now. I’ve never been this nervous!_

_Off Jumpol, you creature!_

_“Y-Yes,” I even bit my lower lip when I felt hesitant to answer. Half of me wants to know where else did I licked the salt off of skin.. but, the other half wants to save my dignity from too much embarrassment._

_And guess what? The first half freaking won!_

_“You licked me on my shoulder blade for your second shot. This palm on your third,” he showed me the palm of his right hand. “The back of it for the fourth and.. my nape for the last.” He simply said as if it was not a big deal at all._

_Damn, at this moment, I was already wishing for the land to just eat me up._

_“Damn it, Gun..” I mumbled before looking away when I noticed that he was trying to catch my eyes with his. I have never felt so shy in front of anyone until now!_

_“It’s just a challenge for some fun anyway. Also, it was not just you who did the body shot to another person. Even your friends and mine did that to each other. And besides, just like what Gunsmile said..” he shrugged for a moment before looking at me with a thin smile. “I don’t really give a damn care or some malice about it. I don’t take it personally because we’re both dudes and both drunk as well, Gun. That challenge started and ended that night so we don’t really have to bring that up. And I don’t think it will ever happen again, right?” He leaned his head a little to his shoulder before raising a brow at me, showing me his cool._

_“O-Of course, yes,” I gave him a single nod before a thin smile formed on my lips._

_So all along I was the only one who’s getting bothered by that night while here he is, not giving a damn care about it._

_How stupid of you, Gun Atthaphan._

_“Then if there’s nothing more to discuss, I’ll get going now.” He walked closer to me to pat me on my shoulder before finally leaving, heading to where his crazy friends ran._

_And at that moment, I felt a tiny flinch of my heart for the very first time.._

“Hello, Gun? Are you still there?” Off’s worried voice through the other line knocked me off from my senses. I was a little startled when he called my attention so I almost dropped my phone. 

“Yes, yes, still here,” I said before facing sideways to have a better position. I’m starting to feel sleepy but I haven’t taken a shower yet so I’m trying so hard to stay awake.

“Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name multiple times but you didn’t respond to me so I got worried.” He said with a voice, indeed, worried. 

I felt my heart jumping at the thought that this guy named Off Jumpol is worried about me. Should I call myself lucky? 

“I’m okay, Off. I just.. I’m just sleepy,” I simply said, stifling a smile because it may affect my voice. 

“Can you at least show yourself first just so I can assure myself that you’re really okay? I promise I will let you sleep afterwards.” I was immediately stunned when I realized that his voice softened as he said those words. I felt something ticklish in my chest which only stunned me even more.. oh no, no. 

I can’t possibly feel that towards him. 

“How? Should I open my camera?” I put my phone away from my ear and pressed the loudspeaker on, ready to open my camera now when he said something. 

“Go to your balcony,” 

Hell what? I accidentally dropped my phone out of shock when I realized what he was trying to say! God, I thought my nose would start bleeding!

And what was that again?! Was he downstairs?! 

I growled in pain before standing up and running towards my favorite part of the condo. I was still massaging my forehead where the phone landed when I looked down from the balcony.. only to see Off Jumpol in his plain white shirt and black shorts. 

11 PM is only a few minutes away from now but here he is, outside of my condo building. 

“What are you doing down there?” I shouted in disbelief. He signaled me to hush before dramatically pointing the rooms around us.. which happens to have their lights already out. 

I pursed my lips and lightly hit my cheek when I realized what I just did. I forgot that I have a goddamn phone which was still connected to the call to his so I used it to talk to that man down there. 

Good god! I didn’t know he would actually go here in the middle of the night, though! What was he thinking?! 

“What are you doing down there?” I asked in disbelief, this time’s with a voice a little low, while still keeping my eyes on him. He was looking up to me because my room is on the 10th floor. His car was parked behind him but I think the engine is off because there were no lights. 

“I told you I got worried when you didn’t respond to me. I thought something happened so I rushed out to go here.” He leaned his back on his car before resting his nape on it like he got exhausted. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry for the trouble.” I immediately apologized when I heard his sigh through the other line. “Wait for me there,” I was about to leave the balcony and ran outside of my unit when he stopped me. 

“No, you don’t have to see me down here. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay so I asked to see you. Are you sure you’re really fine?” He asked once more. I even nodded just to assure him that everything’s okay so he raised his arm up to give me a thumbs up gesture. 

“I’m really okay, nothing to worry about. And.. thanks for coming,” I said the last words in a low voice. I was too shy to let him know it but I also want to thank him, and I knew he heard it. 

“You’re welcome. Call me anytime you need me, okay?” I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling so he wouldn’t see it from there.

That has always been the content of his text messages, calls, and even before the two of us part ways in and outside of the campus. I was starting to get used to hearing those words from him so I decided to just nod and call him if I will ever need him. 

“I will,” I simply said before stifling a smile. From up here, I saw him waving his hand a little to me so I waved back. He turned his back against me, ready to enter his car when I remembered something. “Drive safe,” 

He stopped for a moment before glancing at me then.. giving me a soft smile. Wow, the height of the building didn’t matter at all because I can clearly see his bright smile from up here.

“I will. Good night, Gun.”


	7. 6

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_ “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” I bid farewells with Jingjing before we parted ways. She asked me to join her for lunch so I agreed since I don’t have any classes anymore after this. I was supposed to but the professor had a family emergency so he just asked for the attendance. The class leader made us sign our names on a piece of paper before letting us leave.  _

_ Now, here I am.. waiting for the street lights to turn green because I’m going to cross the street. It’s still noontime and I will definitely get bored inside my condo so maybe I can just visit P’Mild and have some small conversations with her.  _

_ “I don’t have anywhere else to go. It’s distractingly noisy at the school grounds so I decided to just leave. Those crazy bastards were not even helpful because they keep on bragging about some stupid things instead of doing this activity. I’m starving right now, damn it! I haven’t eaten lunch yet so I can’t stay in the library or else I will die of starvation.”  _

_ I turned to look at my right side when someone stood next to me. I knew I was right when I thought that the voice seemed familiar so I wasn’t surprised anymore when I saw Off beside me. He was talking to someone through the phone but he probably noticed me looking so he glanced at me, gave a single nod before looking away.. and so did I.  _

_ “I can’t go home yet, we need this by 4 PM.” I didn’t really mean to eavesdrop but he was just standing beside me so I could hear him talking.  _

_ The street light already lit green so I decided to leave now. I don’t know if he’s aware about the street lights or not but, anyway.. I just decided to cross the street. Now I was about to take my third step when someone grabbed me on my arm, pulling me back from where I stood a while ago, then wrapping me around his arms.  _

_ “Reckless driver!” Someone shouted.  _

_ It was the only time I realized that a fast car was approaching.. that would've got me if the person hadn't pulled me back sooner.  _

_ “Are you out of your mind?!” Off’s grip on my arm tightened a little and he pulled me behind him when the fast car passed by us, creating a loud noise. “Slow down, you bastard!” He shouted to the driver of the car, but it didn’t even bother to pull the car over.  _

_ I was still dumbfounded about what happened, unaware that a fast car was approaching because I was confident of crossing the street since the street light is lit green. I felt my body weakening but it's a good thing Off tightened his grip on me, supporting my weight.  _

_ “What were you thinking, huh?!” His voice raised. I was already feeling weak but I still managed to remove his hand from my arm when it started to feel painful, which caught his attention. “I’m sorry,” he immediately said when he looked at it and saw its redness marked by his own hand.  _

_ “T-Thank you..” I said in a weak voice. I can feel my heart beating so fast because of too much shock just right now. I slowly did an inhale-exhale just to lessen the heaviness on my chest.  _

_ “Be careful next time,” he simply said before turning his back against me, so ready to take a step when I stopped him by holding onto his sleeves.  _

_ “How can I repay you? You’ve done so many good things to me already.” He looked back to me so our eyes met and for some reason.. I felt even much weaker.  _

_ “No need to pay me back, just be careful next time.” He gave me a single nod before facing his front again. I stopped him for the second time by tightening my grip on his sleeves. I’m pretty sure it will crease because of my hold but I don’t care anymore.  _

_ “At least let me help you right now,” I said in a convincing voice. He once again looked back at me with his brows a little furrowed this time, glanced at my hand on his sleeves so I immediately let go of it.  _

_ “How?” He simply asked. I gave him a small smile before urging him to follow me. I can see how hesitant he was at first but when I called out his name, he decided to just follow me by taking his big steps so he could catch up with my walk.  _

_ “Where are we going? I still have something to do, Gun.” He asked on our way to P’Mild’s shop. It was my original plan to go there alone but since this guy saved my life, I wanted to treat him for something good. I have also overheard that he was already starving to death so I might as well treat him for a late lunch.. just to show my gratitude.  _

_ “Can’t you walk any faster?” I asked in a slightly pissed voice when I looked back and saw that he was too far from me.  _

_ He was looking around like a lost kid, probably trying to memorize our ways. And definitely walking damn slowly! _

_ I got impatient under the cruel sun so I walked towards him and grabbed his wrist so we could walk faster. It was scorching hot right now and I wouldn't ever want to damage my skin so I decided to just pull him.  _

_ “Where are you taking me?” Geez, he sounded like a kid who’s being kidnapped! What the hell?! _

_ “You’re walking like a sloth and I don't want to burn my own skin while waiting for you to catch up so I’ll just drag you there.” I glanced back at him but he was still looking around.  _

_ “I’m walking like a slut?!” He asked in disbelief, scoffing in sarcasm.  _

_ God, I almost dropped my right ear!  _

_ “Sloth, Off! You’re walking as slow as a sloth! Bloody hell..” the curse came out as a whisper. I used the back of my hand to wipe the sweat from my forehead when they started pooling on it.  _

_ Good god, today has got to be the hottest day on Earth. _

_ “Oh, I thought you said I was walking like a slut.” He chuckled a little but it immediately stopped when I pulled him to walk faster, rolling my eyes in silence before stifling a smile.  _

_ “Where are you taking me?” He asked again. I was about to answer when I spotted P’Mild’s coffee shop. I ran the remaining distance so he had no choice but to run after me since I was still gripping on his wrist. When we arrived in front of the coffee shop, he stopped for a moment to catch his breath.  _

_ “Goodness, you didn’t have to run that fast.” He complained, to which I only smiled a little before dragging him inside. The moment we stepped inside, P’Mild’s voice immediately filled the room.  _

_ “Nong Gun! I’m so glad you’re here! How are you and-” her arms that were supposed to give me a hug were caught in the air. “Oh, hi! I didn’t know you’d be bringing someone.” She playfully raised her brows up and down before looking down for a moment.. then turning her eyes to Off. “Hello, kid. I’m P’Mild, Gun’s direct senior. I’m not that old so don’t wai to me anymore. Nice to meet you..” she purposely did that to wait for Off’s response.  _

_ “Off, my name’s Off Jumpol. It’s also nice to meet you, P’Mild.” He bowed down a little to show respect.  _

_ “So.. are you guys here for a date?” P’Mild’s smile widened when she glanced down again, having a playful smirk formed on her pinkish lips which confused the hell out of me.  _

_ Geez, why would she think of that?!  _

_ “Huh?!” Off and I answered at the same time. She only giggled as an answer.. but when she looked down for the third time, the two of us followed her gazes.  _

_ “Of course not, P’Mild!” I immediately let go of Off’s wrist when I realized that I was still holding it.  _

_ So that’s what P’Mild has been glancing at ever since we arrived here! _

_ “Okay, if you say so. You can take your seats now,” P’Mild gave me a playful look before pointing to the table my friends and I usually occupy whenever we’re here. I urged Off to follow me so he just did, still roaming his eyes around the place. My brows furrowed a little when I noticed him being jumpy and easily startled upon seeing the balloons decorated at some parts of the shop, but he will act like nothing happened afterwards, so I decided to just not mind it.  _

_ I sat on my usual seat while he sat in front of me. It took me a few seconds before I decided to excuse myself so I could order for us. We even had a small argument before I could finally leave because he was so reluctant to my offer. It was not easy convincing him to let me pay for the orders but gladly he still agreed because I just really want to help out. I told him that he can start doing his activity now while I’ll just go order.  _

_ “Thank you,” _

And the next thing I saw.. was the morning sunlight entering my room through the glass window. 

* * *

“Hey,” I greeted the moment I saw him outside the room. It was already Wednesday and I was a little surprised, and confused as hell, when Zee texted me just this morning, asking me if we could meet. 

“Gun, hi! I hope I’m not disturbing you too much?” Whoa, it was the very first time I saw him being shy. And boy.. I now understand why Saint is head over heels for this guy. He is indeed handsome and all. 

But I’m not quite interested. 

“Of course not, is there something wrong?” I simply asked. Sure we talk sometimes but that happens only when we’re with our friends.. or if we meet each other in and outside the campus. We never really talk personally especially because we spend most of our time with other people. 

“Nothing much. Do you have any plans after class?” He gave me a shy smile before scratching on his nape. 

Dude.. what the hell? 

“Nothing, really. Why’d you ask?” I let out an awkward chuckle before silently wishing my apologies for Saint. 

Geez, what the hell is this man trying to do? 

“Can I ask you to bring Saint to the rooftop of his condo building?” His cheeks turned a little red upon mentioning my friend’s name. 

Oh god! How stupid of me to think that he was going to ask me out! Goodness! 

And what was that again?

“I’m planning to surprise him tonight so I need you and your friend’s help. They already have their things to do and I just thought that you will be the perfect person to bring him there because he opens up to you.” He once again scratched on his nape before glancing at me. 

Oh, so that’s the thing. I almost thought he was going to ask me out. Good god, I don’t want to die yet. 

“Sure, count me in,” I gave him a reassuring smile which immediately made his eyes lit. Zee even had to contain his happiness because people were starting to look at us. 

“Thanks, Gun! I’ll pick you up- oh no! Of course I can’t, I’ll just ask Off to pick you up- oh, right! I just remembered.. I need not to ask him that anymore because he surely will pick you up after classes. I forgot hehehe,” he said before playfully chuckling. 

I wanted so much to argue with that but what else can I say if it’s true? Off would always pick me up from my last classroom so he could walk or drive me to my condo’s lobby, sometimes we would also go to places just to kill time. Up until now, I still feel like a bothersome to Off but somehow, I’m also getting used to it. And to the other fact that we’ve been talking to each other through the phone, either in a form of a call or a text message. 

“Okay, then, I’ll just text Saint so we could meet up after classes.” I gave him a small smile before nodding. 

“Thanks, thank you so much! We’ll wait for you guys there.” He was about to go closer when he stopped midway like he was caught in the air. He put his arms down before giving me a small chuckle then scratching on his nape. “I better go now,” he said before waving his hand. 

I just waved back at him while still getting weirded out with his actions. He then started running away while still waving and shouting ‘thanks’. This guy, really.. I just shook my head before getting my phone from my bag to type a message for Saint. 

**To: Saint**

**Hey, can we meet after classes?**

**Text me when you get this.**

Screenwriting class started and ended well. We just lectured about some writing strategies before the prof dismissed us. Arm already left because he needs to be there early for the surprise. I told him that we’ll just meet them there. 

I took my phone out just to check if Saint had already replied.. and he did. 

**From: Saint**

**I just finished. Is there something wrong?**

It was sent half an hour ago but I guess he’s still inside the campus since he doesn’t usually go home at this early hour. 

**To: Saint**

**Where are you now?**

I thought it would take him a few minutes before he could even reply so I was about to put my phone back in my pocket when it suddenly beeped.

**From: Saint**

**I’m on my way to you**

Wow, my heart warmed at the thought that he got worried so he’s now on his way to me. I didn’t know it would take me only a couple of seconds just to get him. 

I put my stuff inside my backpack before heading outside.. where I saw Off standing in front of the door, leaning his back on the fence. 

“Hi,” he simply said before giving me a small smile. I was about to take a step to greet him back when someone butted in between.. blocking me from going closer to Off. 

“Hey, Gun.. are you okay? What happened?” Saint examined me from head to toe before looking straight into my eyes, worry painted in his. 

“Of course, of course. Nothing to worry,” I leaned sideways so I could see Off and told him to wait. Of course he knows about the plan, he’s a part of it. 

“Why would you text me something like that? I got so worried!” He let out a heavy sigh before giving me a death glare.. which only lasted for a few seconds because his face eventually softened. 

“Can I go to your place? I just don’t want to go home yet, it’s still early.” I gave him my puppy eyes which immediately got him saying yes. 

“Of course! You could’ve just texted me that but anyway, don’t you have plans for tonight?” He used his thumb to point at me and the person behind him. Off had his lips pursed when Saint stepped sideways so we could acknowledge his presence.

“Nothing for today, I’m just here to pick him up.” The tall man simply said to my friend who has been giving him a teasing look. 

Nothing for today? 

“Oh, boyfriend duties,” Saint mumbled before giggling in front of me so that Off could not see him. 

“Hey, of course not,” I furrowed my brows at him but he just stuck his tongue out to tease me even more. “Let’s go now,” I dragged him so we could start walking. Off was just silently following us from behind, typing something on his phone. I'm pretty sure it’s for Zee, he’s probably sending him updates or something. 

“You didn’t have to make me look like the third wheel, though?” Saint whispered before rolling his eyes at me. I just gave him a death glare before glancing at Off.. which only made him chuckle for no reason. “Whipped culture, it is,” he then bit his lower lip to contain his laugh. 

“Saint!” I raised my voice a little when he didn’t stop teasing me. 

“Off, are you coming with us? He’s going to my place,” he looked back at the guy who’s following us from behind. Off just gave him a small smile before shaking his head a little. 

“No, but thank you. I’ll just drive you to your place so you two can have some time together.” He simply said. 

“Ugh, I hate it here,” Saint dramatically rolled his eyes before holding onto his temple like he got stressed or what. 

In a few more minutes, I was already seated at the front seat of Off’s car. Saint was alone at the back but he is surely enjoying the sight from there, he wouldn’t stop teasing us. Off then started his engine, driving towards the condo building where Saint is living. 

“I’ll see you later,” he said before a soft smile formed on his lips. 

Saint and I have already stepped out of his car and since we were moving according to the plan, this is where Off exits. But the truth is, he will only look for a spot on the parking lot before heading to the rooftop where all of our friends are already waiting.. without Saint’s knowledge. 

“Blushing, aren’t we?” Saint’s poking on my arm took all of my senses back together. We were already standing in front of the elevator, waiting for it to open so we could reach the 8th floor where his unit is. 

“Stop it,” I looked away before rolling my eyes, bit my lower lip to stifle a smile when he wouldn’t stop poking me, on my waist this time. 

“What’s with I’ll see you later? Thought you’d be spending the night here but I guess I was wrong.” He playfully looked away and started shrugging nonstop. 

“He usually says that,” I defended.. half of it is true and the other half is just a reasoning. We will meet him later anyway, right? Good thing Saint stopped teasing already so I had a peaceful time to think about how I will ask him to go to the rooftop. 

A couple of seconds more before the elevator opened. We went inside the lift and pressed the floor where Saint’s room was. When we entered his unit, a pleasant smell filled my nose which I have confirmed that was coming from the humidifier. 

“Should I cook something or let’s just call for a takeout?” He asked when he went to the kitchen while I wait for him at the living room. It was so spacious I almost thought I was on a penthouse or what. 

“I’m not that hungry so maybe later.” You will have a nice dinner upstairs anyway. 

I typed a message for Zee to inform him that we have arrived at Saint’s unit. He told me he’ll just text me if it’s the right time. I also texted Off to ask where he is and he said he just arrived at the rooftop. I decided to just start a random conversation with Saint while waiting for Zee’s message. Sooner enough, my phone beeped so it was my cue to ask this friend of mine. It was already dark outside so I assumed that was what Zee has been waiting for.

“Oh, can we go to the rooftop? I suddenly want some fresh air.” I even pouted just to make it look even more convincing. Of course Saint will say yes, he usually spends a lot of time at the rooftop of this building. 

I was getting too excited so I didn’t realize that I was already inside the lift that will take us to the highest floor of this structure. When it opened, our lips parted at the sight. 

It felt like I was the one being surprised.. lol, how assuming. I slowly pushed Saint out before roaming my eyes around the place. Our friends were at the two corners, holding some helium balloons and party poppers while Zee was on the other side of the rooftop, having nothing but himself to present to Saint. 

There were a lot of fairy lights, fake flowers, a long table and balloons scattered on the floor. I somehow find it weird but my eyes immediately searched for a certain man when I saw a lot of balloons everywhere. And there he is.. standing a little far from me, away from our friends while looking at Saint and Zee. I got his attention by standing next to him. 

“Hey, you’re afraid of balloons, right?” I simply asked which made him jump a little. 

“Y-You remembered?” He seemed stunned when he looked straight into my eyes with his mouth a little parted, to which I only gave him a small smile before nodding. 

“I remember,” 

* * *

“How dare you, guys..” Saint was still definitely teary-eyed even after the highlight of the surprise was already done. 

Zee asked Saint to be his boyfriend which only made my friend burst out all his emotions after thinking that the man would never ask him that. This man who pulled out the surprise explained that keeping himself away from my friend was also a part of the plan because he knows he can’t do something if Saint is always around. 

“Oh, right.. I forgot to introduce you to the person who helped us with everything.” Zee suddenly said when all of us were already seated around the long table. I have New on the left side and Off on the right, Arm was beside him. 

“Everyone, this is Janice. She’s my best friend from high school, she decorated the whole place.” He simply said before gesturing his hand to the lady beside Toy. All of us looked at the woman and wow, she looks stunning. 

She had her hair up on a ponytail, a flawlessly bright skin, thin pinkish lips, mesmerizing eyes and, boy.. she looks like a goddess. Her tight white dress hugs her curves perfectly. 

But, I feel like this is not the first time I have seen her. 

“It’s been almost three years since the last time we met you. Maybe because she’s a famous model now and casually meeting her needs to be on her schedule.” Mike teased which made Janice let out a shy chuckle. She was ready to throw hands at Mike but Zee calmed her down. 

“We work on the same modelling agency.” Jingjing added before giving the woman a wide smile. 

Oh, so maybe that’s why she looks familiar. 

My friends and I introduced ourselves to Janice, only us. Zee and his friends already know her because as what he said, she’s his best friend from high school. Maybe that’s why the other boys already know her. 

“Who prepared these?” Saint suddenly asked when we started eating dinner at the rooftop. It was calming and the breezy air was a little cold, just right for the atmosphere we have up here. 

“Fluke volunteered to cook because he knows some of your favorites. Earth, Jingjing and New helped him.” It was Zee who answered, looking at his boyfriend with his eyes showing hearts. 

“Thank you, guys. I’m sorry that this guy even bothered you for this.” Saint pouted which only made all of us laugh. He was so cute when he pouted Zee couldn’t help but pinch his cheek. 

“Let’s just eat, the food is starting to get cold.” Ohm commented, obviously excited about his boyfriend’s dishes. 

And so with that, we continued eating. 

I wasn’t aware that they also brought some drinks so after supper, we started drinking and talking about a lot of things. Everyone was now holding red cups while chitchatting. Mike, White, Gunsmile, and Toy were all busy playing beer pong. I was talking to Jingjing when I spotted Janice talking to the boys from the other group. She was with Tay and New, Off, Kao, Ohm, Arm and Alice, Zee and Saint. Fluke and Earth are, as usual, arguing about something I couldn’t really hear. 

I really think I've seen her before.. 

“Why are you staring at Janice?” Jingjing snapped her fingers in front of me to call my attention. I just gave her a single glance before looking back at the woman who’s standing a few meters away from us. 

Even the way she presents herself screams beauty which makes her stand out from the crowd. 

“She looks familiar,” I tilted my head a little to the side with my brows furrowed while I kept my eyes on her. I know it was rude but I looked at her from head to toe before focusing on her face. I was trying to recall on my memories when was the first time I have ever seen her. “Have you introduced her to me before?” I asked Jingjing. 

“No, I haven’t. We only see each other at the agency and sometimes we hang out to party but I don’t think I have ever introduced her to you. She goes to another university so meeting her casually is a little hard. Why?” Her face screamed confusion when she glanced at the woman, then to me. 

“I thought the reason why she looks familiar was because you introduced her to me.” My brows furrowed even more. I was getting so curious about her but I didn’t want to force myself because it might hurt my head. Of course, I wouldn’t want to make a scene and it will only make my situation worse. 

“Hey,” Saint showed up from nowhere, gently holding Jingjing’s back when he stood here with us. “Is there any problem?” He asked in a soft voice, probably noticed us staring at the woman his boyfriend introduced so he decided to join our conversation. 

“Nothing much, I just think that Janice seems familiar to me. I think I’ve seen her before.” I didn’t want to continue on being rude so I decided to stop staring at her. Saint looked at her for a second before giving me an awkward smile. 

“She was the one I was talking about, Gun.” He simply said before scratching on his nape. My mouth hanged open when I got confused about what he was trying to say. “When I told you that Zee got himself a girlfriend, the one he kissed on the cheeks. Do you remember?” The question came out in a soft voice. 

“Ahhh, so you mistook the girl who helped with all of this, as Zee’s girlfriend?” My lips just parted even more at the thought. It was starting to make sense as to why Saint saw Zee with Janice that time. Maybe because they were already planning for the surprise and the kiss on the cheeks was just a gesture to show his gratitude. Besides, they were best friends, anyway. 

“How could I possibly know, right? I did not even expect that he would throw a surprise for me. Never after I saw him smiling from ear to ear after kissing a girl’s cheek while he was ignoring me all-day long.” Saint scoffed before letting out an awkward chuckle. 

“I told you there’s a reason behind his actions.” I confidently said when I remember my words to him that night at the school field. 

“So you knew about this ever since?” His face screamed betrayal so I immediately shook my head and hands in front of him. 

“I only found out about this earlier, a few minutes before I sent you a message if we could meet after classes.” I told him in details. I do not want him to think that I was only acting when I gave him company during that night. 

“Oh, that’s better. Unlike that someone from here who ditched my after-class invites just to pump air on the balloons.” Saint gave Jingjing a side-eye before playfully rolling his eyes, teasing her because of what she did. The woman dramatically pouted before hitting him on the shoulder, obviously guilty about rejecting him. 

“I only did that because it’s for you. I never really want to ditch your invites but Zee would always call me nonstop for some help so I was left with no choice but to tell the twins to cover me up instead.” She glanced at Fluke and Earth upon mentioning the word ‘twins’. We often call them that. 

“I’m just kidding! But still.. thank you, guys. I’m so happy right now, especially that you’re all here.” Saint almost got teary-eyed but someone pulled his hair a little to the side which made us startled. All our eyes turned to look at the twins and New when they joined our conversation. As usual, it was the twins who pulled Saint's hair. 

“Spare me from your drama, Saint.” Fluke made a disgusted face before playfully rolling his eyes at our friend. We all laughed when he started making faces behind Earth but someone's presence made our mouths shut. 

“Hi, everyone.” Her sweet voice made all of us stunned and speechless. She looks downright stunning. It was only Jingjing who made the next move of giving her a cheek kiss which made her giggle. “So I guess you’re the only one who’s still single on this circle?” Jingjing playfully rolled her eyes at Janice’s statement when the other woman gave her a teasing smile. 

Even her voice brought music to the ears.

“I don’t need a person to give me headache and heartbreak. Spare me, Janice.” And then she chuckled. The two of them together made them look even more gorgeous. No doubt that they are famous models. 

“Hello? Jing? I am here and I am definitely single, though?” I made my presence known when I sarcastically said those words which made all their eyes look at me. It was Janice who has the most shocked reaction. Her cute lips were parted and sparkling eyes widened. 

“Wait.. you’re single?” Her confused face still looks beautiful, geez. I was getting weirded out about her reaction but I still managed to nod when she asked me that. Her hand that was pointing to me slowly made its way up to cover her mouth. “You are G-”

Janice was cut off from speaking when some boys came in, holding their boyfriends through their waists. It was basically Tay, Kao, Ohm, and Zee who arrived, clinging onto their guys like they would run away any minute. 

“Hey,” I heard Ohm’s soft voice to Fluke, it made my friend blush. Saint was whispering something to Zee while the latter was just nodding nonstop like a freaking madman. Kao was busy pulling down Earth’s top shirt when he noticed how short it was.

“Hey! Are you teaming up against us?!” Gunsmile acted like a madman which made everyone laugh. Sooner enough, we decided to join them for beer pong. It was all fun and Earth was always the one who loses. We spent the night there and only parted ways when we realized that it was already 2 AM. 

Goodness, I still have a morning class for tomorrow! 

We were already heading to the elevator, holding garbage bags after cleaning up the mess we made in the rooftop, when someone stole it from my hold. I looked at my right side when a tall man stood there, now holding two garbage bags with both of is hands. 

“Can I drive you home?” Off simply asked. He doesn’t look drunk and I also don’t think that he gets drunk easily so I think he can drive. 

“Sure, thank you. ” 


	8. 7

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_ “How come you have a boyfriend without even telling me?” P'Mild acted like a sulking mom, to which I immediately waved my hands in front of her while shaking my head as a no. _

_ Goodness, Off Jumpol? My boyfriend? That’s insane!  _

_ “He’s not my boyfriend, P’Mild.” I rolled my eyes when she poked me on my waist, trying to get a satisfying reaction from me.  _

_ “Care to explain why you entered this place holding each other’s hands?” She raised her brows up and down while having a playful smirk formed on her lips.  _

_ Good god, since when has she been this nosy? _

_ “It was too hot outside and he was walking so slow. I didn’t want to die because of the heat so I just dragged him here.” I leaned on the counter before giving her a lazy look. “Does that answer your question now, P’Mild?” She giggled after seeing my reaction.  _

_ “As you say so,” she pursed her lips and playfully shrugged before getting her notepad and pen. “So, what’ll be your order, Sir?” She had to bite her lower lip to stop herself from smirking.  _

_ Geez, she will definitely not stop on teasing me about this.  _

_ “I’ll have an Iced Americano and Caramel Cake. Give the other guy some Latte and two Mocha Muffins. Oh, and I’ll also have three slices of chocolate cake, please. That’ll be all, Miss.” I gave her a playful look before getting some cash on my purse then handing it to her when she asked for the payment.  _

_ “Okay, Sir. You might have to wait for a few more minutes so I will just bring your orders to your table. Thank you, Sir.” She even bowed a little before gesturing the table Off and I shared, still biting her lower lip so she could contain her smirk.  _

_ And so with that, I went back to my seat. _

_ “It will take a few more minutes before the orders arrive. Are you that hungry already?” I asked him when I went back to my seat. He just raised his head up to glance at me before focusing back on his laptop.  _

_ “It’s okay, still manageable,” he simply said while moving his finger on the touchpad, not wanting to get distracted from doing his work.  _

_ “That was given last week, right? Today’s the deadline for that one.” I commented when I had a glimpse of what Off was doing on his laptop.  _

_ We’ve been classmates since freshman years and we rarely talk except if it’ll be about some school work. Most of the time, we’re assigned on the same team so somehow, I got used to working with him.  _

_ The task was to take a shot of a plane and make it into something creative and three dimensional. I already passed my work three days ago because I finished it early so I’m already at ease.  _

_ Off's brows furrowed a little but he didn’t look up to me. I can see how fast his eyes keep on moving from side to side to check on some details of the picture.  _

_ “Yeah so here I am, fucking cramming because my forgetful inner self actually forgot about it for the whole week.” He shook his head in disappointment and annoyance.  _

_ “Why didn’t you work on that right after it was given?” My brows furrowed at the thought. He had the whole week to work on it even before the deadlines come so he shouldn’t be here cramming to finish this certain activity.  _

_ “When have you ever known me as the diligent kind of student?” He almost rolled his eyes but maybe the pair were too busy to even do that.  _

_ “Oh, right..” I simply commented when I remembered that he is never that type of student.  _

_ He has always been the class kid who’s distractingly noisy, always unfocused, ditching some classes if he found them boring, and he makes deadlines his day to do the work. If we are in the same group, I would always have to remind him to do his part, attend our groups meetings, and some other things because he surely will forget about it. But he never failed any class, his grades are even more than okay.  _

_ “Do you need any help?” I asked when I noticed that his brows just keep on furrowing even more. It seemed like the stress was just increasing every passing second.  _

_ I was a little surprised when his head immediately raised up to look at me and at that moment, his eyes were shining like it had been the very best news he had ever received today.  _

_ “You will help me?” His voice somehow sounded hopeful so I nodded as an answer. He gave me a wide smile before tapping the chair next to him, urging me to sit there.. so I did. “Whoa, thank you, Gun! I was starting to lose all my creative juices. Good thing you’re here,” he then let out a heavy sigh before moving his laptop sideways so I could have a better vision of his work.  _

_ The art was actually good, something I didn’t know Off could do. I asked for his permission first if I could just zoom it in for a second to see the details and he immediately said yes without even thinking twice. Now I was already checking his work when P’Mild came in.  _

_ “Iced Americano, Latte, Caramel Cake, two Mocha Muffins, and.. three Chocolate Cakes. Is there anything else you need, Sirs?” She playfully raised a brow when she saw me sitting next to Off, maybe because we were too close since we were sharing his laptop.  _

_ “Thank you, P’Mild. Where can I get some tissue papers?” He politely asked before roaming his eyes around the shop.  _

_ “Oh, there, Khun Off. Wait, let me get you some-” she was about to leave after pointing at the counter when Off stopped her by waving his hands.  _

_ “No, it’s okay, P’Mild. I can get them myself,” he stood up and bowed his head a little to her before walking on his way to where he can get some tissue papers.  _

_ “I didn’t know you guys are close.” P’Mild commented before giggling.  _

_ Ugh, not again..  _

_ “We are not,” I simply said, emphasizing each word, but it only made her chuckle even more.  _

_ “Oh, so that is still not close enough, huh? Now we’re talking,” she used her fingers to point at our seats before using it to cover her smirking lips. She only stopped teasing me when Off came back, having a wooden holder of tissue papers in his hand.  _

_ “Have a nice day, Sirs.” P’Mild just bowed a little before exiting, having a playful smile on her lips.  _

_ “The Latte, muffins, and two slices of Chocolate Cake are yours. It’s better if you start eating now.” I simply said before sliding the plates and cup of my orders to my side, then I gave him his. I glanced at my wrist watch and saw 13:26 and we still have more than two hours before 16:00 so I believe we still have plenty of time to do the work.  _

_ “Thank you but I still need to finish the activity.” He simply said before sipping on his coffee. I can’t help but roll my eyes upon turning to him with a lazy look.  _

_ “You can still do this while eating by telling me what to do or informing me if I did something wrong. You wouldn’t want to die because of starvation, right?” I then gave him a sarcastic look. He raised his arms up like surrendering when he saw my face.  _

_ “Okay, fine. Geez, you surely are a little bossy sometimes. But still, thank you, anyway.” An amused chuckle came out from his smiling lips which made me a little stunned. I immediately looked away before I could even stare and focused on the activity instead.  _

_ And so we did the activity according to my suggested way. I let him eat while still guiding me on what to do with his work. Sometimes I will tell a suggestion about some details and will try it to see if it works.. most of the time it does but his ideas were better than mine so we go for that.  _

_ “Whoa, you already finished everything?” I looked at him in disbelief when he smoothly placed the cup of coffee on the table. And here I am, still have to finish the remaining half cup of coffee and the chocolate cake.  _

_ “Your coffee’s starting to get cold so you should probably finish it now.” He said before moving his laptop away from me.  _

_ Dude.. come again? _

_ “Uhm.. I basically ordered Iced Americano, Off?” I sarcastically said before giving him a confused look while pointing at my cup. He seemed a little dumbfounded when he looked at it, like the cup just did something ridiculous, before he scoffed in amusement.  _

_ “Oh, so the ice will completely melt if you still won’t finish it.” He simply said before looking away, obviously a little embarrassed.  _

_ I decided to just finish my food and drink since he can now work on the activity, anyway. I was still giving some suggestions and opinions, and so is he about mine. So in just a matter of time, he already finished the task. It turned out amazing! I was glad some of my ideas worked out well with all of his.  _

_ “Thank you,” he simply said the moment we stepped out of the coffee shop. He still needs to go back to the campus so he can hand in his work so we decided to part ways now.  _

_ “Submit your work now, go. And please, cramming is never easy so start rethinking about your decisions in life, geez.” I gave him a lazy look which made him chuckle.  _

_ “God, you’re sounding more like my mother.” He said in amusement. I just tilted my head a little to the side with my emotionless face and pursed lips that somehow shows my dimples.  _

_ “Go now, though? You might end up being late because you walk like a sloth.” I dramatically wiped my forehead using the back of my hand, acting like I was stressed or what. He just shook his head a little before giving me a small smile.  _

_ “Thank you, Gun.” _

And just like that, I woke up only to feel my fucking head beating in pain. 

* * *

“Is there something wrong?” I heard Earth asking while we were all waiting for the orders to come. Saint invited us for a Pork BBQ dinner, his treat, as a favor of what we all did for the surprise a few nights ago. 

“H-Huh? Were you talking to me?” I was a little startled when I felt him poking on my shoulder. 

“He’s been calling your name, Gun.” I looked at Fluke, who was seated next to his twin, when he said that in a soft voice. 

“Oh, I ugh- I’m sorry. What was that again?” I furrowed my brows a little and gave him an apologetic smile. 

“How’s your condition going? Are you getting any better?” He asked in a soft voice and I can’t help but feel guilty because I wasn’t paying much attention to him earlier. 

“Yes, yes it is. Little by little, I am starting to retrieve some memories, and my head doesn’t ache more often now.” I gave them a reassuring smile before holding their hands that were on top of the table. 

“That’s good to hear. But you still need to call us if you ever need our help, okay?” The cute small dimples above Earth’s lips’ corner showed up when he smiled. I can say that it is my favorite part of his face because it looks so adorable in him. 

“Oh, here they are now!” Saint exclaimed when our orders arrived. The waiters placed everything on our round table before leaving. We then started our Pork BBQ date, it has been a long time since the last time we did this. 

Suddenly, I remembered the reason why I was spacing out a few minutes ago when Earth was talking to me without even receiving a response. A complete memory flashed back on me while I am still awake.. 

_ “Shorty,” I turned to look at my back when someone called that out. I didn’t know if it was for me so I just looked back.. only to find Off Jumpol standing there while looking at me.  _

_ “Hey, were you calling me?” I glanced at my back but there was no one standing there so I guess he was really pertaining to me.  _

_ “Is there anyone else who’s called ‘shorty’ in this room?” An amused chuckle escaped from his lips. Wow, that somehow sounded angelic. I don’t think I have ever heard him chuckle like that. And he kinda looked fresher with a smile.  _

_ But, the hell was I thinking? _

_ “Why were you calling me, then?” My brows furrowed when I got a little confused. I wanted so bad to argue about him calling me ‘shorty’ but what else could I do if everybody else is calling me that? And besides, it doesn’t harm me, anyway. _

_ “Thank you for helping me yesterday, Gun. The professor told me I did a great job and that he actually saw some improvement from my work. I didn’t know how to tell him that you helped me finish the activity because it may affect us two so I decided to just privately give you the credits.” He gave me a small smile at the same time he raised his brows.  _

_ “You’re welcome, then. It was your whole idea, Off.. I just controlled the laptop while you were eating.” I just nodded to him and chuckled a little before packing up my things. I looked at him when he stood still in his position, not moving a muscle. “Are you going to stay here?”  _

_ “No, I’m just-” he was cut off from speaking when the classroom door opened, creating a loud noise as it hit the wall.  _

_ Goodness, the sudden shock almost gave me a fucking heart attack! _

_ “Off Jumpol what’s-” his chaotic friends stiffened after harshly opening up the door. The moment their eyes landed at the two of us, their faces screamed betrayal as if Off had done something his friends never expected him to. And slowly, their hands made its way up to cover their mouths when it parted.  _

_ “Arm Weerayut, you are a fucking tease!” Zee’s voice filled the whole room when he said that. It was only after a second before I saw all of them smacking the poor Arm Weerayut slash Perfect Man, at the back of his head, the man was just trying his everything to protect himself from the beating.  _

_ God, I think that would dislocate his senses.  _

_ “The fuck?! I just told you guys that they take this class together but all you idiots immediately rushed out to go here! What are you even expecting to see? How could I possibly know what they are actually doing, right?” The man who received a lot of hits immediately defended himself. He was pouting when he massaged the part where they hit him and god.. it was almost everywhere in his body.  _

_ I didn’t know what the hell was happening right now so I just looked at Off who was still standing on his height, massaging his nose bridge in disappointment for his chaotic friends. I think he was also mumbling something because I can see his lips moving but I couldn’t hear it.  _

_ “What’s with your friends?” I asked in confusion, to which he only shook his head a little before sighing and looking up to me.. eyes tired and screaming ‘I am so done with this’.  _

_ “Nothing,” he simply said before glancing at the group. I just shrugged at them before putting everything inside my bag, ready to leave now because I still have another class left.  _

_ “Jumpol! Pork BBQ tonight but if you want to treat a few buckets of beer afterwards then it’ll be our pleasure!” Mike shouted, making his friends cheer in agreement.  _

_ I wasn’t really eavesdropping, though.. they were just really loud.  _

_ “Pork BBQ again?! Can’t we try something new? We eat Pork BBQ almost every other day!” I heard Off’s tantrum voice. His friends started on suggesting what to eat but Off would only say no to it. What a picky eater.. really.  _

_ I just shrugged at them before walking out, purposely ignoring their teasing smiles when I walked past them. Now I was already a few steps away from the door when someone called my name.  _

_ “Gun, we’re having a small celebration at Toy’s place. Would you like to come with us? It’s just a few drinks anyway, unlike the last time.” White’s invitation made me look back at them. And when I did, I saw all of them playfully raising their brows up and down.  _

_ “What’s the celebration for?” I tilted my head a little to the side, a little curious.  _

_ “It’s a weekend tomorrow! Classes free, stress free!” Gunsmile answered my question, raising his hands up in the air to show his excitement.  _

_ “Bring your friends along! The more the merrier!” Tay commented before nodding to me nonstop.  _

_ “Dumbass, you just want to see Newwiee but you don’t know how to ask him out.” Zee smacked Tay on his shoulder, earning a death glare from the latter.  _

_ “Oh, I should probably ask them first. I’m not really sure if they already have plans for tonight.” It was the safest answer to give. I don’t really know whether my friends would want to turn up or not. And I don’t want to force them to go there if I ever say yes but turns out that they don’t really want to.  _

_ “Okay! We’ll wait for you guys at the school’s outdoor tables after classes!” Mike waved his hands to me so his friends also did. I just gave them a small smile before nodding then finally leaving. My eyes even had a glimpse of Off who was just silent over there, still in the same position. It was only after a few seconds before his crazy friends rushed to him.  _

_ I started typing a text message to the group conversation my friends and I have while still walking on my way to the next class.  _

**_ATp:_ **

**_Hey, White and his friends invited us for a small celebration at Toy’s pad._ ** **_Are you guys up for it?_ **

_ Goodness, they’re immediately typing! What are these guys doing? They’re supposed to be focused on their classes, right? _

**_Supp:_ **

**_Duh, of course!_ **

**_Cooheart:_ **

**_I’m with Fluke rn and we both said yes!_ **

**_Jingjing:_ **

**_What?! Wasn’t it only a week ago when we last drank with them? And alcohol is not really good for our health! Where is Toy’s pad, anyway? What time are we going there? Pizza’s on me! Don’t you guys dare to say no!_ **

**_Newwiee:_ **

**_I thought you said ‘alcohol is not really good for our health’. What happened now?_ **

**_Jingjing:_ **

**_Clowning!_ **

**_ATp:_ **

**_How about you, Newwiee?_ ** **_Are you coming?_ **

**_Newwiee:_ **

**_Yeah, I wouldn’t want to be called the killjoy for the nth time._ **

**_ATp:_ **

**_Okay, I’ll just tell the guys._ ** **_They’ll be waiting at the outdoor_ ** **_tables after classes._ **

_ They just sent me a thumbs up as their last replies so I decided not to text back anymore. I didn’t know how to contact White or any of his friends except Off so I decided to just message him about their invitation.  _

**_To: Off Jumpol_ **

**_Hey, I already told my friends about your_ ** **_small celebration and all of them said yes. I told them that you guys will wait at the outdoor tables._ **

_ I received no reply from him so I just kept my phone inside my pocket. After a few more walks, I already arrived at my last class and good thing I got here even before the professor came right after me.  _

_ Two hours went fine and I actually enjoyed it since I was sitting next to Jane and Ssing. Most of the time, they would start whispering things to me just to kill some time because they said they’re getting bored. The professor actually had a fifteen minutes overtime since no one noticed the time when a presenter came in front.  _

_ “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” I simply said when the two of them left early. Jane needs to go to her club, and so is Ssing. Now I was already heading to the door when my phone rang. When I looked at it, I saw..  _

**_Cooheart calling…_ ** __

“Gun, are you planning to stay here until they close the store?” I heard Earth’s cute voice giggling, followed by Fluke’s. Of course they share the same brain cells! 

“Oh, right,” I immediately stood up when I realized that I was the only one left on my own seat. All six of us headed out of the restaurant and decided to roam around the mall for a short shopping time. 

As usual, we went home bringing a few bags of well-known shops only to be stuck at the closet. When I arrived at my own place, I landed myself heavily on the soft mattress of my bed. It somehow felt like I haven’t been able to lie down comfortably for ages! 

I almost fell asleep on that position but my phone had to cut that up! It fucking vibrated on my side pocket! When I checked on it, a notification from Instagram is on the top. Curiosity got me thinking for a couple of seconds so I decided to just open the app and see what it was. 

A photo of the sky during sunset time. The shot was aesthetically taken and I can say that it was not just a simple picture. You can feel the calmness, the inner peace, the smooth atmosphere, and the feeling of sentiment you get when you are in front of the actual scenery even when you are just looking at a picture of it. With the clouds scattered everywhere in the blue sky, the setting sun’s light, and a small airplane seen from a corner, it seems to convey a deeper meaning than its surface. 

  
**off_jumpol** : safe haven.


	9. 8

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_“Hey, Coo, what’s up?” I asked before finally leaving the classroom. I’m pretty sure all of them are now at the outdoor tables and that I am most probably the only one who’s late._

_Partially blame the professor for extending fifteen minutes just to finish the presentation, then!_

_“Where are you now? Are you going to turn down their invites?” I heard a tiny hint of guilt and impatience from his voice which made me chuckle a little._

_This kid, really!_

_“My class finished just now, I’m on my way.” I simply said. I can even hear some noises from the other line, it’s most probably from the chaotic group while they’re just being themselves on a daily basis._

_“Okay, okay, we’ll wait for you.” He simply said before mimicking a sound of a kiss._

_Geez.. this friend of mine really needs to stop doing that because those are actually giving me goosebumps._

_“Okay,” I said and immediately ended the call before I could even utter small curses for the person on the other line. I walked my way out of the building and headed to the outdoor tables. And there they all are, being loud and impatient during a broad daytime._

_“Finally!” Mike whined the moment he saw me approaching. “I’ve been pooling with my own sweat for like half an hour already!” He was using a notebook to fan himself. I realized that it was not just him who’s suffering from the heat but all of them! Each one of them have their own improvised fans, my friends were even using umbrellas but still boiling up because of the scorching sun._

_“I’m so sorry, the professor had fifteen minutes overtime so I got here late.” I gave them an apologetic smile when I realized that their situation right now was caused by me. I made them wait for me here! “I’ll make it up to you, guys. Two buckets’ on me!” I tried so hard to lift up their moods while still feeling guilty about what happened to them._

_Good thing it worked!_

_The boys gave each other high-fives and shoulder bumps as they made loud noises. My friends were just enjoying their sight, laughing at the other group’s craziness that attracts a lot of students’ attention._

_“Do you all want to just stay here and celebrate under the scorching sun? Because I don’t,” Off’s annoyed voice made everyone stop their own breaths for a second. Geez, it immediately felt cold now that I had a glimpse of his emotionless eyes._

_What is wrong with this man?_

_Before anyone could even answer, he just rolled his eyes and shook his head a little then walked out. He just kept on walking as if now is his time to be alone. He didn’t even look back when his friends called his name, telling him to wait for us. Instead of stopping him, we all decided to just follow him since the heat really gives no justice, anyway._

_“We don’t really know why he’s being grumpy all of a sudden.” I was a little startled when Arm showed up beside me. A short sigh escaped from my mouth to release my shock before glancing at the man he was pertaining to. It was obviously none other than Off, he’s the only one who’s being grumpy under the cruel heat._

_Adding fire to the fuel.. how rude._

_“It’s okay, I don’t really mind.” I gave him an awkward chuckle before looking ahead of me. I actually don’t get why he would suddenly apologize to me about his friend’s actions as if Off and I are close friends. Arm just pursed his lips and simply shrugged before going back to his friends._

_“I almost thought you’re going to turn down their invitation because you weren’t showing up. Why does it seem like you are always reluctant about hanging out with them?” Jingjing squinted his eyes before giving me a detective look. You know, the intimidating look of a detective when they smell something fishy about a certain case? That’s how she looked at me._

_“I am not, Jing. Hanging out with these people is actually fun and all but since it was new to me, I can still feel a little uncomfortable. Don’t you guys feel the same?” I looked at each of my friends but they just shook their heads to answer me._

_“Not really, honestly I feel like I’m getting used to having them around. They can easily lift up the moods by just being themselves.. you know, loud and chaotic.” Saint even giggled at his last words._

_“Yeah, I think they’re okay. Maybe you’re just uncomfortable because you guys have been in the same department for two years now yet you never really talked to each other before.” Earth commented, nodding to me nonstop._

_“Maybe..” I simply said before looking away. I was thinking about a few things when we arrived at the parking lot where a car honk pulled me out of my deep thinking. When I looked around, everyone was formed on a big circle like we were about to have an important assembly or what. Even Off is now here, lazily looking at everyone while having his hands inside his pocket._

_“Okay, so we’ll do it this way.. me, Arm, Mike, White and Gunsmile will go to my house first so we can prepare the place. Jingjing, Newwiee, Earth, Fluke and Saint, you guys go buy the snacks. Tay, Kao, Ohm, Zee, you go get your things. Off, Gun, you buy the drinks. We’ll meet you guys at my place, okay?” Toy instructed everyone, pointing to the owner of the name when he called them out._

_“What?! How are we supposed to know where your place would be?” Jingjing argued, earning an awkward chuckle from Toy as he scratched on his nape when he realized that she was right._

_“Oh, right.. I forgot about that. How about this? Tay, Zee, go with them. Who will go with Kao and Ohm in exchange?” Toy’s eyes and hand went from my friends to his, waiting for their response._

_“We’ll go, then.” My lips parted a little when I followed where the voice came from. Good god.. it was the twins who answered!_

_Hidden agenda, it is!_

_“Okay, then that’s settled,” Toy clapped his hands and gave everyone a cute smile. He was about to say something more when another person spoke first._

_“No, it’s still not,” we all looked at who uttered those words with a stern voice. It was none other than Off, having his brows furrowed while looking at Toy. “Gun and I can’t possibly be the only ones who will buy the drinks while you guys are packed on simple things. We need two more people,” he simply said._

_“Oh.. who will go with them?” Toy stopped for a moment to wait for someone’s answer._

_“Mike and I will,” White raised his hand and landed it to the shoulder of his friend. Mike just nodded to him and smiled before encircling his arm around Off’s neck, making the latter hit his chest lightly._

_“Okay, meet you guys after an hour!” Toy waved his hands before dragging the people who will help him with the place. Tay, Kao, Ohm and Zee had a small talk before they could finally leave, bringing my friends along them. Jingjing gave me a cheek kiss first before getting inside Saint’s car together with Newwiee._

_“Aren’t we going to move yet? Whose car are we using?” White suddenly asked when everyone had left and we were the only people in here._

_“I brought my car with me,” Off simply answered, making me look at him. I am starting to think that maybe he doesn’t really want to turn up tonight because it seems like he was just forcing himself to get along with us._

_“I also have my car over there,” I pointed to where my occupied space is. The three of them just glanced at that direction before Mike raised his hand up to reach for his chin._

_“I’ll go with Off, you go with Gun. We’ll meet you guys at the mall in more like fifteen minutes. Don’t forget that you are the one who’s going to pay for the drinks.” Mike pointed to me upon the mention of who will pay, having a playful smirk in his lips._

_And so with that, we finally parted ways. I started manoeuvring the car after White and I put our seatbelts on. He even asked for some permission if he can turn the stereo on so I just let him since it was also deafeningly silent, I wouldn't want to get bored._

_In just a matter of time, we arrived at the mall and eventually met Mike and Off at the entrance from the parking lot. We went to the escalator which brought us to the floor where the hyper market is. We just got two baskets before roaming around to search for the beverages’ section._

_“There,” Off simply said while pointing somewhere using his lips._

_Whoa, he looked cute at that.._

_So we all went there and got two buckets of beer, some soda, and a lot of drinking water. We need to at least replace the alcohol after a tough night so we might need that to hydrate ourselves afterwards. I also bought ice and paid for the small cooler so it will not easily melt. After paying for everything, we all went back to the parking lot and drove to Toy’s place. Off told me to stay behind him so I could follow him where to go, and so I really did. We arrived there in no time and.. boy, it was indeed a house inside a high-end village and not just a condo or studio apartment._

_I’m pretty sure these guys have already been here multiple times so we need not to ring the doorbell anymore. Mike just went out to open the gate so our cars could enter the place and whoa, the parking lot was damn spacious. It was a modern style two-story house with a small balcony in front of it and a rooftop._

_“Let’s get inside,” Mike happily said before running towards the front door. How could he run while holding a bucket of beer?! God, what if he tripped on his own feet or what?!_

_“Gun, let’s go now,” White snapped his fingers in front of me when I remained motionless on my height. Off went after Mike, bringing with him the cooler and the other bucket, so I entered the place with White carrying the plastic of soda and the other one for drinking water._

_They wouldn’t let me bring something!_

_“Wow, Toy lives here alone?” My lips can’t help but part as I roam my eyes around his house, impressed._

_His whole space only comes with colors black and dark grey, and everything is made of wood. His walls are painted dirty white where different types of paintings are hanging. I also saw some small indoor plants everywhere, some are hanging and some are on top of a plane._

_I followed the three of them when they headed to the back door which was made of glass. Whoa, he even had an infinity pool in his backyard! There are some wooden hammocks, benches, long tables, a grill and a small hut!_

_God, is he really just a college student?!_

_“Whoa, there you are!” Toy raised his arms to welcome us. I was still dumbfounded while looking around. He probably saw that so he chuckled when he got closer._

_“Hey, what’s wrong?” He simply asked while still trying to catch my eyes with his. I had to shake my head just to stop myself from being dumbfounded about his place._

_“Whoa.. y-you live alone here?” Amazement can be seen from all over my face and can be heard through my voice._

_“Yes, it was a gift from my parents.” He simply said while having a shy smile on his lips. Whoa.. they are wealthy! “Most of the time, these crackheads stay the night here so I don’t really feel lonely and alone.” He glanced at his friends who are now together with mine. “Why don’t we join them now?” He then gestured the direction where they are all gathered._

_“Sure,” I simply said and so with that, we blended in with our friends. Arm brought Alice, his girlfriend, with him but I had a hard start communicating with her because we knew her only by name at first. Thankfully, she was so easy to get along with and we eventually became friends, talked about a lot of things together with my group, and even took pictures with the rest of them._

_Since the night was still young and they still needed to grill the food first, I decided to stay in the small hut for a while. There were small pillows inside so I grabbed one and placed it on my lap before leaning on the backrest. It was only after a few seconds when I heard weird noises from outside so I opened my eyes to check where it came from._

_I went out of the hut and followed where it would be.. and there, I saw a man’s back facing me. I decided to go closer and nudge the man through his back.. which startled him big time._

_“Fucking hell!” He cursed before turning around to face me with his annoyed expression. My brows furrowed when I saw Off blowing something from his mouth.. which smelt bad so I had to look away from him. And it furrowed even more when I looked down only to see a piece of stick in between his fingers._

_“Y-You smoke?”_

The next thing I know, Off had already disappeared from my sight.. being replaced by my ceiling as I opened my eyes at 7 o’clock in the morning. 

* * *

“Hey, what’s up?” I simply said when I answered a phone call at 6 o’clock in the evening. It was another weekend and I was just about to put my phone back to the coffee table because I was binge-watching some series when it suddenly rang.. receiving a call under the name Arm Weerayut. 

Why would he suddenly call me at this hour? 

“Gun, are you with Off right now?” I heard a hint of worry from his voice.. which also reigned on me after he asked me that. 

“No, I’m in my condo. Why?” I decided to turn the television off and put the bowl of chips down on the table before getting out from my comfortable position. 

“Perhaps, have you seen him? Or even talked to him just for today?” His voice was now starting to panic so my brows can’t help but furrow because I was also starting to freak out with his nonstop questions.

“No, Arm. Can you just tell me what the hell is going on?” I couldn’t hold it any longer so my voice raised a little. 

“We think Off is missing. We planned to visit him today but he was not here when we arrived. Off doesn’t usually go out at this hour. We’ve been to some places where we thought he would be but we found no hints of him from those places. Do you have any idea where we could be?” He was obviously worried about his friend, I can hear it from his voice. 

“I-I’ll go look for him, too. You guys can stay at his place just if ever he would come back anytime soon.” I said before grabbing my car keys from the bedside table and rushing to the elevator. Arm had already ended the call so I just used my phone to reach Off’s number. 

“Bullshit,” I whispered when it was out of reach.. but, it didn’t stop me from trying. I was moving with a fast pace so after putting my seatbelt on, I immediately maneuvered my car and drove to the most possible place I think Off could be. I don’t really have the assurance but I just hope I can find him there. 

It took me an hour which consists of short traffics before I finally arrived at our usual place.. and I knew he would be here. I immediately went out and sighed in relief when I saw him sitting on the ground, puffing out smoke before sipping on his bottled beer. 

Why would he make everyone worried like this?

I decided to text Arm first to inform him that I already found Off. He just thanked me before informing his friends, also said that they’ll just go home since Off wasn’t even there anyway.

“Why are you here?” I stole the bottle from his hand when he was about to have another big gulp. He must’ve not thought that I would be here tonight, it was visible in his eyes, but it immediately faded.. being replaced by emptiness before he looked away. 

“I don’t mean to be rude but actually, I should be the one asking you that.” He simply said before pressing the cigarette on the nearest rock, and throwing it inside an empty bag of chips beside him. I thought he was going to get another stick when he reached for his side pockets but a mint candy was what I saw when he pulled it out. 

“Arm called me saying you have gone missing so I just thought I can find you here because they couldn’t.” I answered before sitting right next to him. I tried to get his attention but he wouldn’t look at me one bit. “So why are you here, killing your own lungs and liver?” I commented when I noticed that there were a lot of used cigarettes inside the bag of chips and some bottled beers on a plastic bag. 

Instead of answering, he picked up that empty bag of chips and put it inside the plastic bag which, I suppose, is for the garbage. In just a couple of seconds, you can see no piece of trash anywhere anymore. He remained silent after spraying some alcohol on his hands.. so I also did. 

“Indeed,” an amused chuckle escaped from his lips after a few minutes of silence. My eyes locked on his side profile when it witnessed the way he shook his head in amusement about something. “History repeats itself,” he mumbled. 

“H-Huh?” I asked in confused eyes. He just leaned backwards and used his arms for support before tilting his head a little to the side and stretching his legs out. 

“That was exactly what you said when you first saw me smoking.” He said before a smile formed in his lips. It was not an amused smile.. more like a sad one? I don’t know.. it seems that he wanted to smile but his emotions are showing off so he‘s forcing himself to hide it. 

“When was that?” I asked when I got curious. It felt like I haven’t seen him for ages so maybe that’s why I can’t keep my eyes off of him. While doing so, I realize..

He is a beautiful sight. 

“You probably won’t remember it, anyway. I told you not to force yourself on remembering things, didn’t I?” He just gave me a single glance before finally lying down on the grass field. His arms served as the pillows so he could have an ever more comfortable position. 

“I won’t have to force myself if you tell me about that time.” I simply said before lying down next to him, and turned sideways so I could have a better view of him. 

Somehow, he looks so peaceful.. but I think his mind is not. 

“Gun, if your head hurts-” I cut him off from speaking before he could even nag like a mother. Somehow I feel confident that it won’t hurt anymore, maybe because it has been almost a week ago since it last ached. I actually think that it’s already getting better.

“No, it won’t, I promise.” I simply said before showing him my pinky finger. He didn’t move a muscle and just locked his reluctant eyes with mine so I decided to just reach out for his fingers that were under his head and encircled my little finger with his. A soft chuckle filled my ears when it came out from him. 

“Okay,” he simply said before closing his eyes. I think he’s trying to recall that memory from him so he could tell me what happened that time. “I was away from you guys when you saw me.” 

And as he continued his words.. that dream last night also had its continuation. 

_“Y-You smoke?” I asked in disbelief. And when I looked down, I saw him holding a bottle of beer on another hand. “While.. while drinking?!”_

_“You don’t care.” He looked around, maybe to check if somebody else was present in here. A heavy sigh escaped from his thin lips before he shook his head while massaging the bridge of his nose, most probably in disappointment._

_“So why are you here, killing your own lungs and liver?” I raised my brows before crossing my arms in front of my chest. A sarcastic scoff was his first answer to me._

_“And why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with those people?” He raised his arm that was holding the cigarette to point at the direction where our friends are._

_He sounded so sarcastic I didn’t know if he had a problem with me or whoever from those people._

_“I was staying at the small hut when I heard noises coming from here so I followed it and saw you.” I explained. Why do I even have to explain to this person? As if he would care!_

_“Go back to your small hut,” he just rolled his eyes before turning his back against me. The attitude of this man, really!_

_I know we’re not actual friends but I thought somehow he already saw me as one after our conversation earlier, and the fact that lately our group of friends have been hanging out together. Now I don’t understand why he would suddenly treat me cold. I mean.. we’re not close friends but he never treated me like this before. We have always been civil and casual.. but never cold to each other._

_“Seriously, what is your problem?” I walked past him so I could talk to him face-to-face but he just turned his back against me.. for the second time. I faced him multiple times until he got sick of it so it made me hella nervous when he suddenly threw the bottle away.. creating a loud noise as it breaks into pieces._

_“Gun, will you stop pestering me?! Just..” My mouth hung open when his shoulders fell.. together with his face, like he lost all the energy he had remaining. “Just please..” Then he walked away._

_I was still dumbfounded on my place even after more than five minutes, stunned and speechless that I couldn’t even turn around to watch him leave when he did._

_I didn’t mean to be pushy, it’s just that.. I was a little upset and dumbfounded if he was mad at me or not._

_It was only after a few minutes before I heard someone calling out my name.. which got me moving. The moonlight reflects on the water from the swimming pool when I went back to them. Everybody else had their own crazy little worlds._

_While Off was nowhere to be found._

_“Is there something wrong?” Jingjing held on my arm when she saw me roaming my eyes around, searching for a certain person._

_My eyes spotted everyone except him. Tay and New were talking to each other while seated at the side of the pool, arms wrapped around their own legs. Toy, Gunsmile, Mike and White were busy preparing the table.. in the most chaotic way possible. The twins were busy talking to Kao and Ohm, giving shy smiles whenever the two latter spoke to them. Saint and Zee, on the other hand, were seated at the hammocks next to each other with a red cup on their hands. Lastly, Arm and Alice were walking around slowly while holding red cups and giggling with each other._

_“Have you seen Off?” I simply asked. Her perfectly trimmed brows furrowed a little before her eyes searched for the man I was asking about._

_“Off? Wait, they told him to bring out the food from the kitchen since he didn’t help one bit with the cooking. Oh, there he is!” Her slender fingers pointed at the direction behind my back so I immediately turned around to see him. He was walking out from the back door where we entered earlier, holding a platter of fried potatoes and its dipping sauces on both hands._

_I thought he had gone home after what happened._

_“Waiter!” Mike teased, giggling the moment he saw Off’s lazy face while bringing out the platter from the kitchen. It got everyone’s attention so laughter filled the pool area, except Off’s. He just lazily rolled his eyes before placing the served food down to the table. “Perks of not helping with the cooking." Gunsmile added, earning a raised brow from the friend he was teasing._

_“Dumbass,” he said while shaking his head. Off walked his way back to the indoors so I followed him after excusing myself from Jingjing. She was calling out my name, asking me why I would suddenly follow the guy inside the household but I refused to answer anything to her._

_“Hey,” it was almost a whisper! I was, all of a sudden, shy when he turned around to look at me. I thought he was going to snap out again so deep inside, I was already starting to prepare myself.. but he didn’t._

_He simply pursed his lips and raised his brows upon tilting his head. I even heard a short hum from him.. which I suppose was his only answer to make me speak up._

_“I’m.. I’m sorry about-” his small smile cut me off from speaking. It was just small and you can’t even see any emotion from it but it somehow made me breathless._

_God.. what is that?_

_“Just forget it. I’m sorry that you have to witness that. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking a while ago.” Then he went back to doing what he was here for. He swiftly carried the platter of Korean omelet and was about to get the bowl of Spicy Noodles when he suddenly spoke. “Can you help me with these?”_

_“Sure, ugh.. yeah,” I was instantly moving towards him! Although I was still a little shocked, I decided to just set it aside because he needed help and he asked me if I can give some. I went to him and carried the platter of Korean omelet when he handed me that while he got the huge bowl of Spicy Noodles. We then went out.. only to be teased by our friends._

_“Wow, he got himself an assistant.” Mike commented when I placed the platter down to the table right before Off did the same thing. I was so ready to throw hands at him but he hid behind his friends as if they could protect him at all cost. “Whoa, whoa, easy, child!”_

_The nerve of this guy to call me a child!_

_I rushed to go to him and it was so easy since his friends immediately gave in with my death glares, stepping sideways so I could hit Mike everywhere I can until he was already screaming out for help. His three crazy friends just remained in their positions, watching him as I beat him up to the bit._

_“Bloody hell.. how come a shorty like you have such heavy hands?” He whined while still massaging his biceps where I pinched him. I was about to go near again but he immediately raised his hands up in the air like surrendering. “Enough, enough, I won’t say anything more.” He then sighed before holding his chest._

_“What a great show! So can we start eating now? I bet everyone’s already starving.” Toy clasped his hands together before showing us the whole long table filled with a lot of foods. Everybody took their seats already and I somehow feel weird now that my friends are not right next to me._

_They were scattered around the table!_

_“Will you be full by just staring at the food in front of you?” I heard Off’s voice pulling me out from my own thoughts. I didn’t realize that I was already spacing out. When I looked right, there he was.. on his usual emotionless face._

_“N-No,” looking away from him gave me the chance to choose what I want to eat. I ended up having Spicy Noodles, Korean Omelet, Fried Potatoes, Beef Barbeque, and some Buttered Shrimps. After finishing my meal, I had the urge to taste each of them and boy, everything tastes so good, I thought I was dining in a restaurant!_

_When we have already knocked up every platter and bowl, we decided to sit on the floor in a huge circle, assuming that we are surrounding a bonfire._

_“Now here’s the thing, guys.. we always have a jamming session whenever we spend Friday nights altogether like this. And today, Khun Off Jumpol will play!” Tay clapped his hands together multiple times so we also did, cheering out for Khun Jumpol. All eyes went to Off who seemed too confused about what his friend was talking about._

_“The fuck, Tay?” He furrowed his brows and leaned backwards to move away from Tawan like the former has an infectious disease. And the latter, probably have finished writing his death wish, clung his arms around Off’s, making the latter’s face a disgusted one._

_“You hadn’t played a guitar for a long time now. Please?” Tay even made a puppy face like it will be of any big help to convince his stern friend._

_“You guys don’t even have a guitar right at this moment to begin with.” Off, who certainly hates skinship, has been giving all his best just to remove Tawan from holding him tight. But this guy has the courage to go against Off.. the friendship these two have._

_“That’s not a problem!” Zee stood up and went somewhere before coming back with an acoustic guitar in his hands. It was on the usual design, flawlessly wooden brown head and black tail with metal strings. He gave it to Off and went back to his seat as he awaited for his dear friend to make use of it._

_I didn’t know Off could play an acoustic guitar.. it was something I didn’t expect I could see from him._

_“Wow, that’ll be nice. Play a certain song and we’ll try to sing along!” Jingjing excitedly said, making everyone nod in agreement, before giggling with Alice in excitement. I guess he was left with no choice because everyone started to cheer for him.. so he chose to just get along._

_“I mean it when I say that he is the best in this.” Tawan had a huge smile on his face when Off placed the guitar on his lap and started feeling the strings with his slender fingers._

_The sight of him with an acoustic guitar felt foreign to me.. it felt like a good view I never knew I needed until now that it was right before my eyes._

_A wave of silence filled the pool area before the strings broke it.. making a pleasant sound when Off started on continuously plucking the strings as he began playing a song. It was only after a few seconds before I got the idea of what the song title would be._

_And it was Shawn Mendes’ song.. Life of the Party._

“Honestly, if I could go back to that time, I will choose another song to play.” Off’s words made me turn to him.. realizing that I have returned to reality where Off and I were lying on the ground under the starry sky.. and I was facing him sideways. 

“What will you play, then?” I asked when curiosity reigned on me. I can remember that night and he was really good at playing the guitar.. but he didn’t sing even a single line. 

“Now I actually have a lot of songs in my mind and sometimes I can’t help but tell myself.. I should have played not just one song for that night.” I saw the way his nose crunched upon saying the ‘I should have’ statement. 

It was adorable..

“Among all of those songs, which do you prefer the most?” My lips slightly pouted when I got even more curious. I also want to know what are all the songs he had in his mind but I wanted to know which he would like to play the most. 

“Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol,”


	10. 9

“I’m sorry about Arm, he shouldn’t have called you for trouble. That dumbass..” the curse came out from him almost a whisper when he looked away but I managed to read it from his lips. Now I can’t help but chuckle when he called his dear friend a dumbass for worrying about him. 

This guy, really.. 

Half an hour before midnight, Off and I decided to go home now. We both brought our own cars so we need not to drive the other one to their places anymore. I was just about to enter my car when he suddenly spoke to me. I can feel that he was quite reluctant to leave because maybe I ruined his alone time.. but I wouldn't want to just leave him here knowing that he’s most probably bothered about something. 

“That’s okay, they just really got worried about you because you were not there when they went to surprise.” Somehow, I feel sorry for his friends because their surprise for this man failed big time. I don’t even know why they would suddenly pull out a surprise for him if there’s no occasion at all. 

“Drive safe, Gun.” He gave me a small smile before waving his hand a little. I waved back to him and gave a sweet smile which surely displayed my dimples from both sides. 

At least I get to see him smile after such a long night.

“Drive safe, Off. I’ll call you when I get home.” I said before finally getting inside my car. I didn’t know where that came from but deep inside, I just felt the urge and the need to tell him that. I just thought that maybe I can give him that assurance because he thinks he troubled me tonight. 

I immediately drove away while still thinking about what I said to him. I should probably stop overthinking about it. And he occasionally says and does that anyway, so I think we’re just even. Besides, it’s not like it’ll be the first time we’ll talk through the phone, though. 

Sooner enough, I already arrived at my own place. Thankfully I faced no heavy traffic on my way home since it was almost midnight already and some main roads are unusually quiet. Upon stepping inside my room, my phone rang.. receiving a call from the man I parted with just a while ago. 

“Hey, I’m home,” I simply said before landing myself heavily on my soft couch. I chose to lay on the couch first because I feel so dirty and I don’t want to ruin my own bed. I stretched my legs and crossed it so I could have a better comfort. 

“Me, too.” I confirmed it after hearing the sound his door made upon closing. “You can sleep now,” it sounded more of a request than a command. God, why do I feel something ticklish inside?! “Good night, Gun.” 

“Good night, Off.” And with that, I decided to hang up the call before I could even give him a clue that I was starting to blush with an unknown reason. Shaking my head made me loosen up a little from my embarrassing thoughts.. thank goodness.

Couple of seconds passed by before I decided to take a quick shower, stepping out from the bathroom after almost fifteen minutes with an oversized plain white shirt that somehow exposes my shoulder, and a plain black short. It was already past midnight when I finished drying my hair so after turning off the lights.. luckily, I fell asleep fast. 

_ “Wow, he really is good at this.” Saint commented before everyone started clapping because Off finished playing Shawn Mendes’ song Life of the Party. He did not even sing one bit, not even a single line nor a single syllable.  _

_ Our friends were the ones who sang along and to be honest, I was amazed to know that his friends were actually good singers. I wanted to treasure this moment so I remained silent.. watching everyone as they get involved with the jamming session. It was such a good song plus the passion Off possessed while he was playing the sweet instrument, everyone ended up singing except the two of us. I don’t know much about him but I know that I wanted to hear everybody’s voice so I kept mine shut.  _

_ “And you know what, a lot of girls would always flock around him after his performances back on our high school events.” Tawan proudly said. He kinda looked like a father boasting too much about his own son but I still find them cute.. their friendship is adorable.  _

_ “Guess who the vocalists are?” Kao challenged me and my friends. Now I’m thinking. It was obviously not Off Jumpol.. I don’t think he would ever sing in front of the whole crowd. They basically have 10 members in their chaotic group and I didn’t know whose voice was that I heard earlier.  _

_ “It’s Arm,” Jingjing raised her hand like she was answering her professor’s recitation. “Alice asked us to go with her as she supported her boyfriend’s gig one time. That’s where I met this man,” she first looked at the woman beside her before pointing to the man she was talking about, to which Arm gladly bowed his head and showed his gratitude.  _

_ “Khun Weerayut is correct. But we have two,” Tawan squinted his eyes and showed us his two raised fingers. I roamed my eyes around and tried so hard to come up with an answer, but it took me a couple of minutes of observing each of them before I finally got one.  _

_ “Gunsmile,” I simply said, which got everyone’s attention. The owner of the name looked a little surprised that it was his that I uttered as an answer. “I think he’s the other vocalist because I heard his singing voice during the jamming session earlier and I can say that it sounds good.”  _

_ “Wow, I’m not crying..” Gunsmile leaned on Mike’s shoulder and sniffed multiple times to act like he was so touched about my statement. We all laughed at how funny yet cute he looked like when he raised his chin up and showed us his crying face.  _

_ “Khun Chanagun is correct!” And so Tawan initiated another round of applause. As the night went deeper and our good times continued, we found out that each of them knows how to play an instrument.  _

_ They have different expertise in music. As Arm and Gunsmile were the vocalists and Off knows how to play both bass guitar and acoustic, Tawan plays the xylophone. Mike says he’s meant to be with his drum set. Toy is known as a good violinist, a skill that he first learned back in his elementary years. Kao and Ohm are good at playing the piano. White, on the other hand, plays the flute. And Zee is known as the best player of cello.  _

_ I didn't really expect to hear that but of course, I won’t judge.. everyone’s got a talent people don’t really expect from them. I just really thought that these people know nothing but being chaotic on a daily basis.  _

_ “Was that it? That’s all? I thought it was a jamming session. How come we only sang one song?” Newwiee butted in after the topic of their expertise dropped.  _

_ “Then we should request Khun Jumpol for another song.” Tawan gestured his arms to his dearest friend who happened to sit right next to him. The latter, obviously reluctant about playing in the first place, immediately shook his head as a no.  _

_ “My fingers are starting to ache, you guys play.” He reasoned out, showing us his fingertips that now have turned red because of his plucking and pressing on the chords. “Besides, normally, everybody gets to play whenever we have our jamming sessions, right? What’s the difference now? Are you guys shy because there are new people tonight?” Off’s playful smirk showed the exact opposite of his friends’ lips, theirs were all pursed! “C’mon anyone?” He smirked.  _

_ “I will,” we all looked at Toy when he raised his hand to answer Off’s teasing. He stood up to get the guitar from Off before going back to his seat, somehow looking like a Korean artist the moment he placed the guitar on his lap. And no seconds got wasted, he immediately started plucking the strings.  _

_ Gotta Get Out by 5 Seconds of Summer.  _

_ It was all fun, everybody sang along and the night was spent well. I’m so glad I got to meet these people because they were so fun to be with. I almost thought I was going to spend all four years of college life ignoring them in and outside of the campus but thankfully, Tawan’s flirty hormones couldn't hold it any longer and asked Off to give that piece of paper to Newwiee back then.  _

_ It was almost 3 AM when we decided to go home. Toy’s friends chose to stay in his house because they can’t drive anymore, except Arm who drove Alice to her own place first. They just see us off from the gate before they went back inside, probably to go to sleep directly. I had to drive Jingjing to her condo because she was already tipsy and didn’t have her car with her. New also came with us because he lives in the same building as Jing. As per the twins, Saint drove for them since their places were just nearby each other.  _

_ Gladly, I was able to arrive at Jingjing’s place without having a hard time. Newwiee and I supported her weight up to her room until we can finally let her go on her own bed. I’m pretty sure she’ll survive on her own since this is not the very first time she got drunk anyway. And besides, after giving us cheek kisses for goodbye, she already sent us two away.. and so we really did. Since Newwiee lives on the same floor as her, he just parted with me the moment I stepped inside the elevator, waving my hand to say goodbye to him.  _

_ The drive on my way home took me just ten minutes before I reached my personal space in the parking lot. After such a long day, I finally get to feel the soft mattress of my bed removing all the numbness I started feeling when we knocked up all the bottled beers. It took me a few more minutes before forcefully getting myself up so I could take a quick shower.  _

_ Half an hour later, I was already drying my hair while seated at the edge of my bed. Thank goodness, it dried fast and finally, I can now sleep. I probably slept for like five to seven hours before my phone started ringing. Even with eyes half-closed, I was still able to get my phone from the bedside table and answer the call without looking at the caller ID.  _

_ “Hello?” I asked in a hoarse voice.  _

_ “Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat, where were you last night? I have been texting and calling you for ages!” My eyes instantly opened wide when I heard my mom’s voice. And when I moved my phone away from my ear just to check who the caller was, I couldn’t help but dramatically wipe my palm on my face because I saw her ID from the screen.  _

_ “I’m sorry, Mom. I was hanging out with my friends last night.” I sat down on the bed and damn.. my head hurts like hell! I leaned my back on the headboard so I could massage my temple for a moment.  _

_ Fucking hangover.  _

_ “Are you coming home today? I have a new recipe!” Her excitement can be heard even through the call. I can imagine her sweet smile while telling me those words so my heart felt warm at that thought. _

_ “Of course, I’ll be home for lunch and dinner.” I gave her a genuine smile even though she won’t see it.  _

_ “Great! I’ll see you later darling, okay? Drive safe! I will start cooking now. I love you!” It seems that she was trying so hard not to make squealing noises to release her excitement.  _

_ “I love you,” I replied before she hung up the call. When I got off from my bed, pushed the curtains sideways, and faced the morning sun, I felt all the drowsiness fade. I decided to take a shower now because I still need to drive for almost two hours before I can go home. I was moving fast because lunchtime is already three hours away from now and I basically don’t have all the time in the world.  _

_ Sooner enough, I already saw myself walking on my way to my car in the parking lot. Mom didn’t ask me to do some grocery shopping for her today so I just started driving my way to our house. It was almost half an hour before noon when the house helpers opened the gate as I arrived. Nong Grace and Nong Gui immediately ran to me when I stepped out of the car.  _

_ I even had to ask Nong Gui for soft kisses because he was easily distracted with my Mickey Mouse sweater. Our parents also joined the three of us before we decided to get inside since it was unusually hot today. The dining table welcomed me with a sight full of Mom’s dishes and I can’t help but drool because I missed those on a daily basis.  _

_ “Let’s eat,” Dad simply said after everyone took their seats. Lunch went fine and we talked about a lot of things. Mom and Dad asked me a lot of questions about how I have been doing by living alone, how’s college, my friends, and everything.  _

_ I also told them I met a lot of new friends and they’ve been hanging out with us from time to time. I’m glad they liked the idea of me having new people in my life because they don’t want me to stress myself over my studies just to maintain the title of being the Straight-A student.  _

_ Nong Grace also told me a lot of stories. She goes to the same high school that I had been. She's making a lot of friends and people like her because.. who wouldn’t, right? I advised her to make a lot of good friends and not to stress herself like I did when I was in high school. And also reminded her to call me just if ever she would need my help for anything, anytime.  _

_ After lunch, they let me be alone inside my room for a while. It looks exactly the same as it was when I left the house to move to my current place now. I found nothing to do so I decided to just see my closet if I could have anything to bring with me when I drive back to my condo later. Gladly, I found some so I put it inside a bag. I was already closing the zipper of the bag when I heard light knocks from the door.  _

_ “P’Gun,” it was Gui’s voice. When I opened it, the two of them were standing outside. “Play,” he raised his arms up so I could carry him, which I happily did. I opened the door wider to welcome them and we played inside my room. Lately, Gui has been playing with his small basketball ring so Grace hanged it on my wall and gave the ball to him. While the two of us watch him play, from time to time I would ask the kid to touch his forehead with mine, his nose to mine, cheek kisses, and a soft hug. The three of us played until Gui got tired and eventually fell asleep on my bed.  _

_ I didn’t even realize the time because I was also starting to feel sleepy. We only woke him up when Mom called us for dinner. It went well and we had a great time as a family because Gui was in a great mood after playing and sleeping. Sadly, I needed to go back to my condo because I have group work tomorrow. After dinner, they see me off from the front door while waving their hands.  _

_ “Drive safe,” Mom reminded me and after giving them flying kisses, I started maneuvering the car. The skies have already turned dark as the moon replaces the sun to provide light. It was a normal drive on my way back to the condo.. not until I saw someone sitting at the trunk of a tall tree that was standing on a cliff. At first, I was just about to ignore him but in a blink of an eye I realized that he was trying to stand up on that trunk.. obviously shaking as he tried to straighten his legs.  _

_ “Hey!” _

And then suddenly, I woke up.. feeling my heart racing so fast like it would explode any minute by now! 

God, what was that?! 

I can’t help but wipe my palm on my face in disappointment when I tried to go back to sleep but it wasn’t working. Since I can’t go back to sleep but too tired to get up yet, I decided to check on my Instagram. Off’s icon was the first thing I have ever seen after opening the app.. and he had a recent story on IG so I tapped his picture to see what it was. 

A picture of the morning sky posted a few minutes ago.. with music playing Lauv’s song, Never Not. I spotted a tiny caption in white that, I think, was supposed to be hidden along the white clouds.. but I still managed to read it. 

“Good morning,”

* * *

“How are you?” Newwiee went to me with a sad face for a hug. I asked them to visit me at my place because I suddenly missed them. It has just turned dark outside and he was the first one to arrive so I had the chance to talk to him privately. 

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” I chuckled a little before hugging him back. He had his chin placed on my shoulder when he wrapped his arms around me. “What’s the matter?” I asked before brushing his hair using my fingertips. 

“My parents accidentally met Tay when they surprised me for a visit.” It was such a sad voice I feel like Newwiee will cry any moment by now.. it somehow made me sad too. 

“What happened? Was it a good news or definitely a bad one?” I started tapping his back gently to give comfort.. just if ever he can find it in my arms. 

Because Tay Tawan has always been his very comfort ever since they became close. 

“You know my parents are not as open as yours when it comes to this thing, right? I told you it will not be easy the moment they found out that I have a boyfriend. As I expected, they got mad.” His lips pouted, shoulder and face fell down as he pulled me tighter but just enough for me to still breathe. 

“Give them some more time. I’m sure, eventually, they will learn to love the people you love.” I didn’t know what to say so I just settled on the safest words. We remained in that position for a couple of minutes more before my front door opened, letting in the twins and Saint. 

“Hello, hello!” Fluke raised his hands as if he was waving to a lot of people. Earth, who was even skipping on his way to my living room, gave me a soft smile that reveals his cute little dimples when he stopped in front of me. I glanced at Saint and saw that he was putting something on the fridge so I just put my attention back to the twins. 

“Where’s Jing?” Newwiee asked. Before anyone could even answer, the front door opened for the second time, letting in a woman in her casual attire with her modelling walk. Her hands let go of the pizza boxes when she walked past the island counter and immediately ran to me in four inches heels. 

Good god, she didn't really have to run with that.. I’m starting to get worried about this woman. 

“Miss me already?” She gave the top of my head a soft kiss before playfully squeezing Newwiee’s cheek. The twins gave her small hugs before letting her go back to the kitchen. “I brought pizza and mojos.” 

“Omg, thank you!” Coo happily jumped like he had received the greatest news that ever existed. I can’t help but roll my eyes and let out a sigh when he lightly slapped Fluke’s arm, earning a death glare from the latter which eventually ends up as their normal playful fights. 

“Okay, you two can stop now or else I will call your boyfriends.” Saint gave them a lazy look and in just a snap, the twins already behaved! Wow, where the hell did that come from? Now I was about to believe that Saint’s words scared the shit out of them but..

It was definitely wrong. They went back to playfully getting on each other’s nerves! 

“Okay that’s it, I’m calling the security.” I stood up but immediately stopped when my arms got wrapped by them on both sides. When I looked both sideways, they were in puppy eyes like scolded kids who were absolutely not ready for a hit. “Fine,” I sighed before going back to my seat. “Just don’t wreck my things.” 

“Pizza, everyone?” Jingjing entered the living room with two huge boxes of pizza that she placed on top of the coffee table. Saint was right after her, holding a plastic of bottled colas on one hand, and a bucket of ice on the other. 

We sat on the floor with legs crossed and a circular form like we were about to have an open forum or what. With the pizza and colas in the middle, we started feasting up. 

“I missed this,” I suddenly said when I looked at all of them, adoring their chubby cheeks as they chew the pizza. “It’s been a long time since we last did this.” I pouted before biting from mine and slowly chewing it, still on a pout. 

“Yes maybe because you guys have been spending most of your time with your boyfriends.” Jingjing sarcastically said before acting like a sulking kid, which made us chuckle because she looked adorable when she did that. 

“Let me hug you, my dear friend. We’re the only single ones from this group.” I reached out my hand and was about to hug her when it stopped midway because she stuck her tongue out to me. 

“Off may not be your boyfriend but you spend most of your time with him.” She even added a cute ‘hmph’ before looking away. 

This woman, really.. 

“I do not.. well, not most of my time, just some of it and to clarify things, I only hang out with him because he helps me bring back my memories.” I pointed out, to which they only nodded but didn’t really look convinced at all. 

“So, do you remember him now? Do you not have amnesia anymore?” Fluke asked, kinda in a kiddo voice which made him sound cute. Earth raised his brows up and down to me like an excited kid waiting for a bedtime story. 

This twin, really.. will there ever be a time that they will not look adorable together? 

“Well.. now I can already remember some but I don’t think it has retrieved everything yet. Maybe I need more time before it can all come flashing back to me.” I purposively shrugged at the thought, not wanting to make them worry because I know they have their own concerns aside from my condition. 

“How’s your head? Does it still ache sometimes?” Saint asked, pointing to the side of my head where I got small stitches. I held on to it and gently massaged that part to show them that it’s getting better.

“Thankfully no, not anymore.” A reassuring smile formed on my lips and gladly, they returned it with sweet smiles. Jingjing reminded me a list of dos and don’ts, followed by Saint’s ‘call us when you need us’, Newwiee’s sweet words, and the twin’s flying kisses. 

So enough with the drama, Newwiee suggested watching a movie.. so we did. They ended up staying the night at my place because we weren’t aware of the time, and it was already past 2 o’clock in the morning when we finished the third movie. Gladly, I have enough comforters to fit everyone in since this is not the first time they crashed into my place anyway. I wanted to sleep with them on the floor but they kept on pushing me away, telling me to own my bed before the twins do.. of course it was just an inside joke, they just wanted me to feel comfortable because of my situation. 

The way these people spoil me.. I am loving them even more. 

So with that, they gave me good night flying kisses before I finally turned off the lampshade on the bedside table. In just a few seconds, I was already dozed off to sleep.. probably because it was already too late. 

_ “Hey!” I immediately pulled over and ran out of the car to rescue the said guy. I kept on shouting but I don’t think he can hear me.. because I received not even a single glance. I tried to find a small rock to throw it up to him but there were nothing but huge rocks and grasses in here.  _

_ Goddamn it, leads me no fucking choice!  _

_ In just a snap, I already saw myself hugging the tree as I climbed up to that trunk where the guy was. I don’t really know if I should be glad or not that he hasn’t completely jumped yet so maybe I can still stop him from jumping off the tree. I decided to just rush while still trying to question myself on how the hell did I end up in this situation.  _

_ “Hey!” Finally! I reached the trunk and the hell I even needed to crawl because I was too scared of sitting or standing on it. I am fucking afraid of heights but here I am, trying to rescue a crazy guy who seems too absentminded about what he was trying to do.  _

_ “Gun?” It was a familiar voice. My heavy breathing started loosening up when I conditioned myself to stay calm or else I will fall from this tree and eventually die at such an early age.  _

_ Surely, I wouldn’t want that because I don’t want to die yet.  _

_ “How did you.. know me?” With my eyes shut, I finally felt calmer.. but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am not scared anymore. Hence, I slowly sat on the tree and felt if it was strong enough first before looking up to the guy who’s standing in front of me.. only to be dumbfounded when I realized who it was.  _

_ “Off Jumpol?!” My mouth hung open after his name automatically came out from it the moment I saw his face. It was definitely him! Off freaking Jumpol standing upright in front of me, hands confidently inside his pockets like he will not die if he ever fell from this tall tree. The fuck is he trying to do?! “What the hell were you doing here?”  _

_ “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” He had an amused smile formed in his lips which irritated me even more. A single glance was given to the moon directly facing us before he sat down a little far from me.  _

_ “Bloody hell, you’re drunk?!” I crunched my nose when he reeked of alcohol and a hint of cigarettes. The hell with this man and his own ways of killing himself? “What were you thinking?” My brows furrowed in confusion.  _

_ “Not that drunk, I just had maybe twenty bottles? I don’t know, ask the bartender.” And then he chuckled a little. I thought he was already gonna shut up but my words were cut off, even before I could utter them out, when he raised an index finger up to indirectly point to me. “And for the next question, what was I thinking? Hmmm.. I don’t know, I’m not really sure.” He simply shrugged before pursing his lips.  _

_ “Then why are you here? I thought you were going to jump off.. you nearly gave me a heart attack.” I held on my chest when I felt a tiny flinch of it upon remembering the feeling I got seeing someone standing on a trunk of a tall tree in the middle of the dark nights.  _

_ What was I supposed to think if not that he’s planning to jump? I wouldn’t want to be a witness of a suicide.  _

_ “I just wanna have some time alone,” he said after the long silence.. which made me turn to him. He seemed sad, which I find unusual since he has always been getting along with people in his cute smile. Somehow, I felt bad for ruining that alone time he wanted but.. how could I know, right? I just really thought he was planning for a suicide.  _

_ “Do you think he’s now one of those?”  _

_ My brows furrowed a little when he uttered those words, his eyes directly staring at the bright moon, and his hand pointing at the stars scattered around it.  _

_ “Who is?” I asked in almost a whisper.  _

_ This is the very first time I have ever seen him sad.. and broken.  _

_ “Olly,”  _

_ It was an unexpected stab in my heart when Off looked at me.. making me see his broken eyes that hides a lot of emotions I couldn’t read even one. I have never seen his eyes like that before.. so it almost broke my heart because for the first time, he looked so weak and vulnerable right before my eyes.  _

_ But before I could even say a word, he immediately looked away and pretended like it never happened.. like I never saw his sadness.  _

_ “Hey, I think we should get going now.” And in a blink of an eye, Off had disappeared in front of me. I almost thought I was only dreaming until.. “Gun, it’s getting darker. Jump now,” it was Off shouting. When I tried to look for him, I saw him down there.. while I was left alone in this trunk.  _

_ Bloody hell.. _

_ “How the hell did you get down there in just a snap?!” I shouted back, voice a little shaky because I looked down and realized how tall the tree was. In my mind, I was starting to think of all the good memories I have with the people closest to my heart.  _

_ If I die tonight, I swear to ghost around Off Jumpol! _

_ “Of course I jumped. C’mon jump now, you won’t die!” Now he’s back to being playful and annoying!  _

_ The fuck with this man and his mood swings?! _

_ “I’m-I’m scared.. this tree is too high!” I hugged the tree tighter when I felt my hands shaking.. and my whole body sweating cold bullets.  _

_ Good god, how did I end up in this situation anyway?  _

_ “Okay, I’m going home now.” This tall guy waved his hand up to me before taking a few steps.. without even looking back!  _

_ “Off Jumpol, don’t you dare!” I tried to threaten him using my voice but it was no use, he continued on walking back to his freaking motorcycle. Ugh, goddamn it!  _

_ I have to do this right. I don’t wanna die yet!  _

_ And the next thing I knew, my feet were already touching the ground.. followed by my knees as I felt my whole body weakening and it eventually fell on the ground like I just lost all the energy I have.  _

_ “See, you didn’t die, right?” I felt that someone stood next to my ears so I opened my eyes only to see Off freaking Jumpol smiling from ear to ear.  _

_ I swear I will rip those lips the next time I see him with a teasing smile! _

_ “Almost,” _

“Off,” it was a whisper in a soft voice. I didn’t know why but I suddenly woke up with his name uttered out from my lips. My dreams.. it was real, it really happened before the accident! But before I could even celebrate.. I remembered the only thing I have no idea about from my dream. 

“Who’s Olly?”


	11. 10

“Hey, good morning, Atthaphan.” Jane greeted me the moment I stepped inside the classroom for Television History Class. Good thing the seat next to her was still unoccupied so she offered it to me.. and I gladly accepted that. It was only after a few minutes before the door opened again, letting in Ssing, Nanon, and Chimon with the atmosphere like F4's. Ssing’s eyes immediately lit when he saw me. 

“Gun! Hey, how are you now? I’m still sorry for the last time.” He went to me with a wide smile but it was instantly replaced with an apologetic one. Nanon and Chimon also came after him. We still have some time to talk about things since the professor is still not here anyway. I haven’t talked to these people for the odds know how long already. 

“Hey, how’s it going? I heard about what happened. I’m sorry Jane and I couldn’t go to the hospital during those times, we’ve been busy with rehearsals.” Nanon gave me a single nudge before taking the seat behind me, Chimon next to him and Ssing on my other side. 

We started catching up with each other.. or maybe it’s just me who’s catching up with them and them with mine. We were only cut off when the professor arrived, beginning the class and eventually ending it well after almost two and a half hours. I didn’t even realize that it was already coming to an end, the professor only said it when he glanced at his wrist watch to dismiss everyone. 

“We need to go now,” Jane gave me a sweet smile before leaving the room with Nanon for their rehearsals. They kinda look cute together.. no doubt they got the main leads. Ssing and Chimon also left because they have some after-class clubs. When I opened the door, a figure of a man standing with his back facing me welcomed me. 

“Off,” how ironic that it was only two days ago since the last time I saw him but it felt so long already. I don’t really know why but I feel like that.

“Hey,” he turned to look at me and in just a sweet smile, my heart instantly felt warm. 

What the hell was that? 

“P’Dan asked me if I could bring you there tonight.. but of course just if ever you do not have any plans. If you do have, then I’ll just tell him you’re not available.” Off slightly shrugged at his own words. 

“Let’s go, then,” I nodded with a genuine smile. Since I do not have any plans for tonight, I miss P’Dan, and I also feel the need to see and talk to Off, I agreed to go. His eyes lit for a second before he returned the same smile to me. With that, we started walking on our way out of the campus. 

“How are you?” I suddenly felt the need to ask even though I have no exact reason why I did. His manly brows furrowed a little when he gave me a single glance.. obviously a little confused. 

“I'm.. doing fine. Why? Is there a problem?” He asked in a low voice. I immediately shook my head and hands in front of him to say no. 

“No, nothing. I just asked,” then I looked away so he wouldn’t find me suspicious. He just hummed for a short answer before we became silent until we arrived at P'Dan's shop. The old man immediately saw us, spreading his arms up to initiate a hug with me.. which I gladly accepted. 

“How are you, kid? I'm sorry I only visited you once at the hospital.” He said before pulling out from the hug, hands remained on my shoulder while he roamed his eyes to check on me. “I think you have gotten thinner than before.” His brows furrowed a little. 

“He really did, P’Dan,” it was Off who answered him for me. “So I think he might need our usual order. Can you join us, please?” Whoa, this has got to be the very first time I have ever seen Off in his pleading eyes!

God, he looks cute. 

“Of course!” P’Dan gladly said before showing us the tables where we took our seats, then he went to prepare our ‘usual order’. In just a couple of minutes, he was already putting down the bowls in front of us. 

So our usual order consists of a noodle soup for the both of us, meatballs soup, and fried rice with omelet. P’Dan gave himself chicken porridge before taking the seat beside Off. 

“Wow, I miss this! Thank you, P’Dan!” I happily said with a kiddo voice. With that, we started digging up on our own bowls. Everything tasted so good I ended up asking for a second bowl of meatballs soup and extra rice. P’Dan seemed to enjoy watching me and it made my heart feel warm. He treats us like his own kids so it is always a good time to be with him. 

“Make sure to visit me again if you two have free time, okay?” P’Dan showed us his ‘okay’ sign after pulling out from the hug. As much as Off and I wanted to stay a little longer, we can’t really. I needed to go home now because my friends will be staying the night again in my place. Off, on the other hand, said he has to go home early for a call he’s been expecting. 

“We’ll surely do,” Off just gave him a single pat on the shoulder before we both started walking on our way home, still waving our hands to P’Dan until he had disappeared from our sight after turning right. I didn’t bring my car with me, and Off also did not, so we ended up walking on our way to my condo building. It will take at least half an hour or more but I did not want to make it shorter so I asked him if we could just walk.. to which he simply agreed. 

It was unusually silent on our way home until suddenly.. a memory came back to me while we were walking. 

_ “Good morning,” I simply greeted when Off reached the table that I was occupying from P’Mild’s shop. It was just a normal Sunday and I agreed to meet with my groupmates today so we could start on our work. Off was the first one of them to arrive here before the clock strikes at 11 AM.  _

_ “Good morning,” he then took the seat in front of me. “So I guess I’m not late.” He proudly said when he realized that it was just the two of us in here.. well, among our group mates. “Have you ordered already?” I simply nodded as an answer, he then just excused himself to go to the counter so he could order something. It did not take him too long before he went back to his seat.  _

_ “How are you?” I suddenly felt the need to ask when I remembered last night. I can still remember how sad and broken his eyes were when I looked at it.. crystal clear. My chest felt a little tight upon remembering the sight of him.  _

_ “Hey, about last night... you should just forget it. I was drunk, I didn’t know what I was saying. And I was just messing around you last night.” He simply said before playing his fingers with the table number P’Mild gave him.  _

_ “Were you really?” I simply asked, not quite convinced about his excuse. He just pursed his lips before nodding multiple times like he was trying to convince himself more than me. “I don’t think so,”  _

_ “Why not?” His head tilted a little to the side at the same time when his brows furrowed.  _

_ “You should’ve seen how sad and broken your eyes were when you asked me if a person named Olly is now one of the stars.”  _

_ Off’s lips instantly parted at the mention of the said name. I didn’t know who he was, but surely, he had a huge effect on Off. The sadness in his eyes last night showed off for a second but eventually faded when he lightly shook his head. Now he couldn’t look at me anymore, and I realized how rude it was for meddling in with his personal problems and even mentioning someone I do not even have any idea about.  _

_ Wrong move, Gun.  _

_ “Hey-” I was cut off from speaking when our two other group members came. They just apologized for being late before taking their seats and placing their materials on the table. After going back from the counter, we started doing our work now so we could finish early. As much as I wanted to talk to Off and apologize to him, I was left with no choice but to just get along because he doesn’t even look like he cares anyway.  _

_ Almost four hours. It took us more than three hours before we finally finished everything. The task was to make a huge movie poster, a real movie, on a whole illustration board. As a requirement, we have to make it look creative and not bland, make it three dimensional and lively. And so after long hours, we really did it. Thankfully, P’Mild allowed us to work here because she also helped a little.  _

_ “Take care of that,” I told my group mates before they left. I asked them to bring the board home because I can’t do it by myself. After they had exited the shop, I paid my attention back to the diligent man who volunteered to clean the table and sweep the floor. He has been silent ever since we started doing the activity and I actually can’t stand it. “Hey, I think that’s okay now.” I said before putting my things inside my bag.  _

_ “I’ll just return this to P’Mild.” He excused himself first and walked his way to the counter so he could thank P’Mild for the cleaning materials we borrowed. When he went back, he brought no things with him so he had nothing to fix. “Right, I forgot,” my brows furrowed a little when I saw his hand reaching out to me.. with cash in between his thumb and index finger. “I haven’t paid for the materials yet.”  _

_ I wanted to reject the offer but our two other group mates may find it unfair if they ever find out. I made them buy some materials when they once told me they were strolling around the mall so they used their own money for that, so I decided to just accept the money and keep it for the group work.  _

_ “Okay,” the hell with the awkward nods? I had to look away because Off remained his eyes with mine, which got me a little conscious. When I looked down, I saw a picture on the floor so I picked it up.. seeing a little boy in his cute jumper suit, small cap, and sweet smile. He looks so adorable. “Perhaps, this is yours?”  _

_ My eyes witnessed how his lips slowly parted as he gasped for a little air when his eyes landed on the polaroid picture of the kid.  _

_ “Y-Yes, that’s.. mine,” _

“Gun, hey, we’re here now.” I felt Off’s soft touches on my shoulder which made me pull from my own thoughts.. realizing that we were already standing in front of my condo building. I must've been still dumbfounded about what I just remembered so I simply waved my hand before turning my back against him. A few steps away from Off.. I remembered something again. __

_ “That’s.. that’s Olly,” his hand slowly reached for the picture so I gave it back to him. My eyes can't help but stare when he kept his head down while looking at the adorable kid.  _

_ “My brother,”  _

I was immediately stiffened when I realized what that meant.. my heart was already pounding like crazy when I ran back to Off and hugged him tight which got him in surprise. He seemed reluctant to hug me back but the hell I care, I pulled him closer through the neck and buried my face there. I didn’t understand why all of a sudden, I was already crying. 

“H-Hey, are you crying? What’s wrong?” I felt his hand at the back of my head, and the other was gently stroking my back for comfort. His voice sounded so soft I ended up sobbing harder. “Gun, what happened? Hey, talk to me, please. Does your head hurt? Do you feel dizzy? Stop crying, please..” He gently pulled away from the hug so he could look straight into my eyes. 

God, those eyes..

“I’m sorry,” I stifled my sobs. I didn’t even know why I was crying but it won’t stop falling even if I try so hard not to let them. 

My whole system stiffened when I felt Off’s soft touch on my cheeks, gently wiping away my tears. 

“You don’t have anything to apologize to me, Gun.” He said in a soft voice. 

The hell with these tears, his words only made it worse! 

“I’m sorry that I forgot everything about you.” Now I don’t understand a thing or two anymore. Why didn’t I tell him about Olly? That I already have an idea about what happened to his brother? That I remember some of our memories now? That..

His soft chuckle cut me off from deep thinking. I was even more stunned when I realized that he took a step closer and in just a blink, I was already wrapped around his gentle arms, feeling and hearing his heartbeats as he gently placed my cheeks on his chest. 

He hugged me.

Off hugged me. 

“Silly, I can wait, Gun. I will just be here to wait until you can finally remember everything about me. Until then, you don’t have to force yourself.” 

* * *

“Hey,” I simply greeted when I saw my friends sitting straight on my couch in the living room. When I joined them, all their eyes turned to me and gave me a suspicious look.. which weirded me out. “What?” I asked in confusion. 

“Do you have something to tell us?” Jingjing’s playful smirk weirded me out even more. My brows immediately furrowed when I realized that it was not just her who’s smirking, everyone is! 

“Nothing,” I simply shook my head before slowly standing up. Geez, they are starting to creep me out! “What the hell is wrong with you, guys? I’m honestly getting scared now.” I whined which almost broke my voice. They just looked at each other before giving me the same creepy and playful smiles. 

“Where have you been?” Earth’s little dimples showed up, but absolutely not in an adorable way! 

“P’Dan’s shop,” I simply answered before taking a step back. In my mind, I was already starting to pray that my normal friends will come back anytime soon. 

“Who are you with?” Fluke asked after his twin. 

“I was with Off. Seriously, what is going on?!” I stomped my feet on the floor but they were not even moved! I knew I shouldn’t have let them stay here for another night! They are starting to give me goosebumps! 

“Your car was here the whole day. How did you get home?” Saint squinted his eyes and looked at me from head to toe. Okay, seriously.. I am officially scared now! 

“O-Off.. walked me here,” I took another step back but their eyes followed me everywhere I went. Goodness, I think my knees trembled a little when Newwiee stood up to go closer to me. 

“And then?” His pouty lips pouted even more when he placed his fingers on his chin like he was thinking of something critical. He even tilted his head, goddamn it! 

“That’s it,” I said in a higher tone. Jingjing stood up and crossed her arms in front of her chest before slowly walking towards me with her tiger eyes and raised brow. 

“That’s it? Oh no, I don’t think so, Gunnie. Don’t make me say what everyone saw down there.” Then she lightly tapped my nose before turning her back against me. 

Bloody hell.. so that’s the reason why they are like this?! 

“Damn it, guys! You scared the shit out of me! Why would you creep me out like that?” I held my tightened chest when I started letting out heavy sighs, trying to normalize my breathing that almost stopped in nervousness a little while ago. “You are unusually like this I thought you guys were exorcised.” I whined before going back to the couch and sat down comfortably.

“So.. what was that down there?” Jingjing and Newwiee came running back to the couch when Saint asked me that. Now they were all seated around me, patiently waiting for my answer like kids waiting for a bedtime story. 

“What do you guys even want me to say?” I sarcastically asked which made them roll their eyes and sigh in disappointment. “I was just apologizing because I forgot everything about him. Only him, that’s it.” It was a lie told as a truth, that was also the same thing I told Off as to why I suddenly hugged him. 

Fluke playfully pulled Earth’s hair, earning a groan from his twin. The latter was about to attack back when he suddenly hugged him, gently stroking his back. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, twin.” Fluke said in a teasingly soft voice. Earth, having the same mindset as his best friend, immediately got it so he hugged Fluke back. Saint, Jingjing and Newwiee laughed so hard when they realized that the two were trying to piss me off by imitating what happened down there. I can’t help but roll my eyes because of these two, but I still ended up chuckling in amusement. 

“You know what, I’ll just go change my clothes so we could start watching now.” I stood up to go to my room and immediately closed it before they could even get inside. When I was just about to walk to my closet, my phone suddenly rang.. so I got it from my pocket and answered it after seeing the caller ID. 

“Hey,” I simply greeted.. biting my lower lip to stop myself from smiling without even knowing the reason why. 

“I just got home, you told me to call you when I do. How are you now?” He said on the other line. It seems that it will take us a few more minutes before this call ends so I decided to sit on the edge of my bed first while talking to him. 

“I’m okay now,” a small smile escaped from my lips even though he won’t see it. “I already stopped crying,” now it was a chuckle that escaped. I don’t even know why I cried in front of him earlier. 

“Can I see?” 

Whoa.. cat suddenly got my tongue. 

It was a simple question slash request but it already made me dumbfounded. And before I knew it.. my hands were already away from my ear, pressing the camera on which revealed Off Jumpol’s face from the other line. 

“That’s a relief,” he released a short sigh after saying that.. before a small smile formed in his lips. “Then you can hang up the call now. Enjoy the night with your friends. Good night, Gun.” 

“Good night, Off.” 

And with that, I already hung up the call.. stifling a smile as an image of him showed up on my mind. It was when he was wiping my tears earlier.. his eyes, to be exact. It was full of mixed emotions that I can’t name even one. 

“Gun, are you dressing up with a tuxedo or what?” Jingjing loud knocks on the door made me roll my eyes. Remind me again why am I friends with this woman? “You’ve been changing clothes for ages!” Now it was Fluke who whined. 

These impatient kids!

“Just a minute!” I shouted back before forcefully getting myself up to go to the closet. I decided to just settle on an oversized plain white shirt and black shorts like the usual. Afterwards, I already went out only to be welcomed by my friends who had their arms crossed in front of their own chest. 

“It was not even that long when you two parted and now your boyfriend’s already calling you.” Jing raised a brow before looking away. 

“He is not my boyfriend.” I pointed out, emphasizing each word. Everyone just turned their backs against me before heading to the living room. 

“Yeah, right. Fishes can walk,” Earth nonchalantly said before they all took their seats on the floor. No one took the couch so I laid down there before we started the movie everyone agreed about. 

The night was all fun, the movie was good and also our food. It was already past midnight when we decided to go to bed. They still didn’t let me join them on the comforter so I slept on the bed alone. It has been such a long day, maybe that’s why I fell asleep easily. 

_ “Hey, Gun,” I turned to look at Arm when he called my name. Classes have just finished and I was about to go home when I met him on the hallways, obviously a little panicking and uneasy. “Perhaps have you seen Off the whole day?” He suddenly asked.  _

_ “Off? No, I haven’t,” my brows even furrowed a little as I simply shook my head as an answer. Arm looked so stressed right now I wanted to ask what was happening but he cut me off even before I could do so.  _

_ “If you ever see him, can you at least call any one of us?” He said in an almost desperate voice so I just confusedly nodded my head to assure him. I haven’t even said a word when he started running away while waving his hand, shouting “Thank you, Gun!” before he disappeared from my sight.  _

_ What a weirdo.  _

_ Off? The last time I saw him was that Sunday when we did our group work at P’Mild’s coffee shop. It was already a few days ago. After telling me that the kid from the picture was his brother named Olly, he suddenly walked away without even looking back. I actually wanted to apologize for what happened earlier that day but I haven’t seen him ever since then even inside the class, or during lunch break, and not even on after-class schedules.  _

_ I decided to just continue on walking until I finally reached the parking lot. It did not take me too long before I could finally start the engine and drove my car away from the campus. My friends and I decided to have Chicken Wings for dinner so I’m going to meet them later tonight. When I arrived at my unit, I laid down the bed for a while before taking a shower and wearing something casual afterwards. I finally settled on an oversized summer polo with a short of the same print, and my beach sandals. Then I only have my phone and purse with me.  _

_ It took me almost an hour and a half before I saw myself from the elevator door as I stepped inside the lift and went down to the parking lot. I had already started the engine and turned right for the exit when I received a call from Saint, informing me that he was already there with the twins. It was just a short call so he immediately hung up after a couple of minutes.  _

_ Fair enough, it was already past 6 PM when I arrived at the restaurant that we always dine for Unlimited Chicken Wings. All of them were now there so we had nothing to wait for, everyone then started ordering for ourselves. Saint and Jingjing got themselves Garlic Parmesan, I chose Spicy Barbeque, Newwiee and Fluke ordered Chicken Teriyaki, and Earth went for Honey Butter. We also ordered for some extras like Mojos, Onion Rings and Iced Tea.  _

_ “Enjoy your meals, Ma’am, Sirs.” The waiter finally said after placing everything on our table. He bowed his head a little before finally leaving to attend to someone else. We started eating using our hands wrapped with plastic hand gloves. Chicken Wings dinner has always been fun with them especially when Fluke and Earth starts their competition of who will eat the most. In the end, they both finished four orders of Chicken Wings, five for Me and Jingjing, while Saint and Newwiee had seven orders. We were all feeling heavy and lazy after finishing the extra orders and the whole pitcher of Iced Tea.  _

_ We were supposed to rest for a while so we could digest everything we ate first before leaving.. but, Tay Tawan had to ruin that when he suddenly called Newwiee, which got all our attention.  _

_ “Okay, okay, we’ll see what we can do for help.” New said before finally ending the call. My brows furrowed a little when he looked at all of us with a problematic look. “Guys, Tay and his friends need a little help with something.” An awkward smile formed in his lips before he scratched on his nape.  _

_ “What something?” Jingjing asked, leaning closer to New with her curious eyes. Saint, Fluke, and Earth also did the same.  _

_ “Off is missing. They’ve been trying to reach out to him but his phone is out of coverage. He’s also not in his own place because they already went there.” Newwiee said in a little panicking voice.  _

_ “Oh my gosh, where will that guy go?” Jingjing’s shocked voice got the other people’s attention so we immediately gave apologetic smiles to them.  _

_ “They’ve been to places where they think Off would be but he’s also not on any of those.” New shrugged a little before his shoulders fell down.  _

_ “If they can’t find their friend, what more can we do? We barely know Off and his whereabouts when he runs away like this.” I simply said which got all their eyes to look at me.  _

_ “You do have a point but the more people who search for him, the more that we can find him, right?” It was Saint who answered, earning nods of agreement from our friends.  _

_ Okay, so was that supposed to be a lowkey way of calling me the antagonist? _

_ “If you guys don’t want to, I think they’ll understand that. But, I’m still going to look for Off.” Newwiee simply said before standing up.. only to be followed by the twins, sooner also Saint and Jingjing who stood after them.  _

_ “Me too,” they individually said with their voices full of determination. I didn’t want to be called ungrateful or what so I decided to also join them for their Operation Search for Off Jumpol.  _

_ With no plans of wasting any second, we immediately went out of the restaurant after paying for everything and only parted ways when we went to ride our own vehicles. I was connected to a call to them and the other gang while still roaming around the city to look for a certain guy. But my phone even had to run out of battery now, call me unlucky or what! Among all the times it is needed, why does it have to be now? I did not have my power bank or charger with me!  _

_ “Damn it,” I growled in annoyance first for my phone, and second is to the man we’ve been trying to look for. I think I already searched the whole vicinity but not even his shadow is found here! I was already starting to lose hope when the rain started pouring down.. harshly. When I looked up from the window, I saw no stars.. not even the moon is visible.  _

_ And with that thought, a place came inside my head! Why hadn’t I thought about that one ever since I started searching?! Ugh, how stupid!  _

_ On my way to that place, I was still questioning myself whether or not driving there could be any useful. I’m not even sure if he would really be there.. not right now that it’s raining cats and dogs. And I only thought of that place because I’ve seen him there once.. almost at this same hour.  _

_ The rain had already stopped when I arrived at the cliff, a little hesitant to step out because I did not find his motorcycle here.. absolutely no hints. But something inside of me is telling me to go out there and see if he would be at the same trunk where I saw him last time. _

_ And the latter won.  _

_ Holding a folded umbrella, I went out of the car and walked closer to the tree. When I looked up.. I did not expect that I would be right. He really is there.. lying on the trunk with one of his legs hanging down. _

_ This stupid head! _

_ “Off Jumpol!” I shouted to call his attention.. but it did not work. I tried to look for a small rock but found nothing so I decided to just throw my closed umbrella up to him.  _

_ But even after multiple times, it did not even reach him one bit.  _

_ “Off Jumpol, you slacker! Are you fucking sleeping on a trunk of a tall tree that is standing on a high cliff?!” My blood boiled even higher when I received no response from him. I didn’t know how to reach Arm and his friends because my phone is already dead and I do not have any source of power with me to charge my phone.  _

_ “Off Jumpol!” I shouted with a hard stomp of my feet. I was left with no choice but to carefully climb up to the tree and smack this dumbass on his forehead. He woke up groaning in pain, holding his forehead that now has turned a little red, looking at me with confused eyes before his hands removed the wireless earbuds I didn’t notice he was using. _

_ “Gun?” _

Suddenly, Off disappeared from my sight.. being replaced by my friends surrounding my bed as I open my eyes. When I looked around, it was still dark outside and my friends were still on their pajamas. 

“Gunnie, what’s wrong? You were sleep talking,” Jingjing said in a soft voice before sitting on the bed. 

“Oh.. I-I was just dreaming.” I simply said before getting up and leaning my back on the headboard then wiping the corners of my eyes. 

“Was it a bad dream?” Earth asked before pouting. 

“No, not really,” I confusedly shook my head, still a little sleepy. My furrowed brows curled even more when Newwiee said something. 

“You were calling out Off Jumpol while you were sleeping.” 


	12. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this book has not reached that much readers yet but I still want to apologize for not being able to update a chapter these past few weeks, it was such an immature act. I cannot promise to have stability on uploading new chapters because sooner or later I will eventually become busy with my studies, but at least let me make it up to you guys who are reading my work. 
> 
> Thank you for your time and effort! 
> 
> Happy Holidays!

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_ He slowly sat as he put the earbuds inside his pocket while I carefully hugged the tree and sat beside him with tiger eyes, obviously pissed at this guy for making me climb this tree for the second time around. _

_ This guy has got to be the most insane person I have ever met!  _

_ “What were you thinking, really?! You fucking slept here under the pouring rain while all of us are searching the whole city just to find you?! Are you out of your mind?!” I shouted like a nagging mother.. but, he just nonchalantly looked away and tried to look for the stars from the starless dark sky.  _

_ “Maybe I really am,” he chuckled a little before shaking his head.. but the laugh seemed empty. I didn’t know what else to say so I just remained my eyes on him, a little dumbfounded. A few seconds later, he got his phone from the chest pocket of his shirt before typing something. “I already told my friends not to worry. You can leave now.” A small smile escaped from his lips.. but it was not quite convincing.  _

_ Now how can I leave if I can clearly see that something is up? _

_ “Why are you here, really?” My brows can’t help but furrow when I see all of this, his sudden disappearance and staying at this trunk, bullshit.  _

_ “Do you really wanna know?” When he locked his eyes with mine, I felt the depths of me drowning. It was as if he was scanning my soul.. he did not blinked one bit. The emotions in his eyes are way too deep and hidden.. like no one could ever see through him.  _

_ I wanted to drop the topic and just ask him to go home now because he was already soaking wet.. but he cut me off even before I could utter a word.  _

_ “This is where I found Olly when he got lost.”  _

_ He said those sad words with his longing eyes.. painted with loneliness and guilt.  _

_ “Can I.. ask what happened?” I carefully said, trying not to say something that could hurt him or what. Surely, I wouldn’t want to add up to his pain right now.. the least I can do is try to help him lessen it. _

_ “I don’t think you would want to hear it. It's not a happy story.” He removed his eyes from staring at mine before looking down on his swinging legs. For a moment, I forgot how tall this tree was.. and how afraid I am right now. _

_ At this moment, the only one that matters is Off.  _

_ “If you don’t want to share it, I understand that. But just if ever you would want someone to tell your stories to, call me anytime you need me, I am willing to listen. They say it’s better to tell your problems to a stranger.. why don’t you try it sometimes?” I gave him a small smile even though he did not see it.  _

_ “You’re not a stranger,” he simply replied after a glance.  _

_ “But we barely know each other,” I shrugged a little before tilting my head to the side and have better access to his side profile.  _

_ He did not give out any response so I have no choice but to give him the silence he needs. I couldn’t hold it that long so I decided to answer his question that was still unanswered up until now.  _

_ “I think yes,” I said before staring at the dark sky. He turned his head to me in confused eyes and brows a little furrowed.  _

_ “Yes what?” He asked.  _

_ “That Olly is now one of the stars,” my eyes witnessed how his lips slowly parted when I answered his question the last time I went here. “Or most possibly, one of the angels.” I looked at the clouds and imagined some angels playing behind those.  _

_ “I think so, too.. because his name is Anurak.” A small smile showed off from his thin lips.. and I can say that he looks better with that.  _

**_(Anurak: name of a male angel in a Thai myth.)_ **

_ I received silence again after that so I decided to just finally let him have some time to think.. watching him as he stared at the skies.  _

_ In a span of more than two years, today has got to be the very first day I stared at Off.. realizing that his beauty has always been in front of me without me even paying attention to it. _

_ He has this fair skin, soft-looking hair, tall proud nose, thin pinkish lips, manly brows, and eyes that can totally get you in just a wink. I never realized that he is this handsome to stare at until now that I am actually doing it.  _

_ But I was cut off from fancying him when he said something.. _

_ “I was twelve when Olly came to our lives..” I believe he was trying to open up so I just listened to whatever he is about to say more. “It was the best day of my life because I had been praying to have a little brother ever since I was a child.” He glanced at me and even just for a glimpse, I saw emptiness in those eyes.  _

_ It pained me a little.  _

_ “From that day, he became my most favorite person in the world. I would always go home early so I could play with him, look after him especially when mom and dad’s at work, wait for him to say his first word, take his first walk.. all of his firsts, I was always there.” His shoulders fell down upon saying the last words.  _

_ “He grew up so bright and active so we did not expect that one time when he was already three and he suddenly collapsed while I was playing with him.” He then sat straight and looked up.. trying so hard to avoid his tears from falling.  _

_ “He has weak lungs.”  _

_ But a tear still fell from the corner of his eyes.. and mine saw that sliding down.  _

_ “I couldn't understand where he got that but the doctor said it was not with him when he was born so it’s not hereditarily passed. They said he can’t be too exhausted, too happy, too sad, or feel any emotions too much. He should also not inhale too much smoke or inorganic scents. If he does, he might faint, feel chest pains, severe headaches, experience difficulty in breathing and such.”  _

_ He tried to wipe the fallen tears away from the side of his face but it was no help.. they kept on falling nonstop.  _

_ The story was also starting to bury itself in my heart.. making me teary-eyed as I imagine his words and his little brother.  _

_ I can’t help but remember Nong Gui and how he brightened up our lives upon his birth; it was the same as Olly to Off and their family.  _

_ “Ever since that day, we tried to monitor his emotions and his activities. I've never been so afraid until that time. I was always afraid that we might lose him any moment so I stayed close to him everyday after my classes. I was already seventeen that one night when I got home late and he was missing. I didn’t know how that happened but I just got home from school only to find out that he was already lost. I wanted so much to curse his nanny but it would only waste my time so I immediately went out to search for him instead. And you know what happened that night?” He finally looked at me upon asking that question.  _

_ And his eyes.. they were almost begging at mine.  _

_ “I found him here.”  _

"Gunnie, wake up now." Jingjing's soft nudges on my shoulder woke me up from my sleep. Her face was the first thing I saw in the morning when I opened my eyes. After adjusting my sight from the light coming outside through the glass window, I roamed my eyes around to see where our other friends were.. but it was just Fluke whom I saw when he entered the room with my apron wrapped around his torso. 

"Breakfast is ready," 

* * *

"Hey, you called all of a sudden. Is everything all right?" Off asked as he took the seat beside me on a bench of a public park just a block away from my condo building. It was already past 7 PM when I asked him if we could meet right now, through a call. My friends already left my place so I felt a little lonely.. and his company was the first one that came into my mind. 

"Nothing, really. Do you mind if we take a walk?" A few nods with a small smile was given to me as an answer so with that, we stood up and started walking around the park in slow pace. 

"You know I can feel that you want to say something." He simply said when I saw from my peripherals that he was trying to catch my eyes with his. I glanced at him and saw his curious look, seeming a little patient about waiting for my answer. 

"It's just that.. lately, I've been thinking about why you were the only one I forgot." I looked down when I suddenly felt guilty upon mentioning it. 

Off looked taken aback upon hearing those words from my lips that came out almost a whisper only he could hear. His mouth hung open as he slowly looked away from me.. eyes painted with confusion and such. It was only after a couple of seconds before he looked back at me again.. now with a small smile in his lips. 

"Maybe you'll find the answer after your memories are completely retrieved already. For now, just don't bother yourself about some things from the past." He simply said before looking ahead of him. It was a refreshing walk at a public park, just kept on roaming my eyes around to admire the surroundings especially with the breezy air and the lots of stars up in the sky. 

Off and I talked about a lot of things while walking. Talking to him is calming and I was actually amazed at how the two of us would chuckle from time to time even without a certain reason to laugh about. And Off's smiles honestly lift up my mood. 

He looks so adorable with a smile. 

"Can I ask something, Off?" I suddenly said when the two of us sat at the rock of the circular fountain. Off just looked at me with his lips pursed before he raised his brows. 

"Anything," he simply said while facing me. 

"What's your most unforgettable memory?" I tilted my head a little to the side upon asking him that question. It was a serious one, though, I wanted to know if his answer would be the same as what I am thinking of. 

He looked away from me with his lips pursed and eyes looking up to the stars like those twinkling lights could ever give him an answer. 

"I met an angel when I was still a child." 

His words got me speechless. I didn't know how to respond to that because I still have no lots of ideas about Olly and what happened to him.. especially Off's memory of him. I was too afraid that I might hit the wrong spot if I ever say a word so I just remained silent and gave him the time to think. 

"I think it's getting pretty much late, Gun. Don't you want to go home yet?" He asked after the long wave of silence passed by us. When I glanced at my wrist watch and saw 9:47 PM, that was the only time I realized that we've been strolling around this park for almost two hours. 

I didn't want him to go home even much later because he still needs to drive on his way there so I agreed to go back to my condo now. Off insisted that we could just ride his motor because he wanted to drop me off there so I didn't argue anymore. The two of us wore helmets before riding his vehicle. 

"Hold tight," he said when I held on his shirt. My mind must've been too clouded with such thoughts that I got a little startled when he started the engine, making me grip on his shirt tighter. 

But Off had to remove it by himself.. and wrapped my arms around his waist before finally letting the motorbike in motion. 

Stunned, that is how I am as of the moment. I didn't know why I still chose to rest my arms around his waist but the feeling of him, wrapped around my arms, seems unfamiliar to me. I wanted to pay my attention at something else so my eyes roamed around.. and eventually landed at the left mirror of the ride, making me see Off's serious face looking straight ahead of him. 

I find it fascinating how he still looks so handsome despite the helmet covering half of his face. His eyes were not even looking at mine but it was captivatingly beautiful. 

I didn't know it was possible until now that I am seeing it. 

"Gun, we're here now." Off simply said as he stopped the motor in front of my condo building, cutting me off from admiring his beauty. 

As I set foot on the ground and started removing my helmet, he also did. He put the two helmets down to the seats before facing me with a small smile. 

"Thank you for giving me company." I returned the same smile to him before glancing at my wrist watch. "And I'm sorry that you're going to go home late tonight." Then it was replaced with an apologetically awkward smile. 

"No problem, you can call me anytime." He simply nodded his head before smiling again. "I think you should get inside now." Then he gently pointed at the entrance of the building, urging me to go now.

"Good night, Off." I replied before waving my hand a little to him even though we were still standing a few inches away from each other. 

"Good night, Gun." He waved back to me before pursing his lips then gesturing the building again. A soft chuckle escaped from my lips first before I decided to finally go now, or else he might stay here longer. I looked back at him before I could even set foot in the lobby, and when I did, he was still there, leaning on his motorcycle as he saw me off. I waved back to him one last time before finally getting inside and heading to the elevator. 

It did not take me that long before I arrived at my own place, directly lying down at the bed after locking the doors. As I stared at the ceiling, Off's call pulled me out from my own thoughts. 

"Hey," I said in an almost hoarse voice. 

"I just got home," he said and I confirmed it when I heard the door closing, a sign that he just entered his place. "You should go to sleep now, Gun." He said in a slightly soft voice. 

"Yeah, you too. Good night again, Off." I had to bite my lower lip to stop myself from smiling without even knowing why in the first place. 

"Good night," and so with that, I chose to finally end the call before I could even let out squealing noises. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?! 

"Ugh, I better sleep." I said in a somewhat irritated voice after shaking my head to remove all the nonsense thoughts. Luckily, I dozed off to sleep fast. 

_ "Olly was sitting on the grass that time, staring at the moon, when I found him here." _

_ "It was a good thing I found him first because I don't know what might happen to me if someone else got him before I do. I was so scared that night.. so scared that I bursted out of tears the moment I had Olly in my arms. Ever since that night, mom stayed at home more often than usual, and I would always go home early, excited to see him. I swore to myself that I will never lose him ever again." He then slowly shook his head.  _

_ "But in the end, Olly didn't make it.."  _

_ I felt a stab in my heart when my eyes witnessed the way he bowed his head down and all his tears fell from his soaked eyes.  _

_ "There was a fire at the house next to us, it was huge and the house was turned into dust after a few hours. I didn't know whether I should be glad that all of us were able to come out sooner before ours got involved, or to be mad because Olly inhaled a large amount of black smoke that night. We rushed him to the hospital but everything was.. everything was so fast that time. I didn't know how it fucking happened but it just did.. without even preparing any of us."  _

_ Off's voice was continuously breaking as he tried to continue the story while crying. It was such a heartbreaking sight to see. We're not even much of close friends but knowing Off, the slacker of a student I am always in the same group with, I truly didn't expect he would have this kind of past.. and pain in him.  _

_ "The next thing I knew, he was already lying in front of me.. cold and lifeless."  _

_ He breathed a large amount of air before slowly releasing it out, probably trying to normalize his breathing.  _

_ I didn't know what to say. His words got me devastated, and remembering Gui did not really help me because I know I would be in the same state as Off if that ever happens to him. This man right before my eyes looked so crushed and vulnerable right now, and the sight was foreign to me.. like he was not the same person that I used to hate because of his tardiness in school.  _

_ "I told you it's not a happy story." One sniff and he was already wiping his tears away, like it can also remove his pain. He did some inhale-exhales before shaking his head, probably wanting all his senses to get back together.  _

_ "I shouldn't have told you this." He simply said, now in a cold voice. "Whatever happened in here must only stay here. And for the record, I don't need someone's pity so you don't have to treat me good just because of what you found out. I only told you that because you're more of a curious kid than a college student ever since you first heard Olly's name." He gave me a single glance before shrugging his shoulders.  _

_ "But I never forced you to tell me," I said in almost a whisper, not quite convinced that it was the real reason.  _

_ And it made him shut for a couple of seconds..  _

_ "We should probably head back, I'm sure your friends are getting worried about you by now." He was about to jump down the tree when I made him stop even before he could do so because I said something.  _

_ "And so are your friends, Off. All of us are also worried about you."  _

_ He seemed stunned about my words, hands gripping tight on the trunk as if he could really crush it in his hands. But in the end, he just nonchalantly shook his head and looked away from me before jumping down. It took me a few more minutes before I could finally have the courage to follow after him and when I already did, he was standing a little far in front of me.  _

_ Off then just turned his back against me before heading to his motorcycle, not waiting for me to catch up. When I was about to enter my car, I remembered something.  _

_ "You might not see me as a friend, but to me you already are. You can always talk to me if you need someone. I'm sure Olly wouldn't want you to be filled with sadness all your life. Sometimes, it's okay to let it out, Off."  _

_ And with that, I entered the car and maneuvered after him.. leaving the place that serves as Off's escapade from the pain he feels every time he's longing for Olly, and all the words that came out from his lips earlier. But it made a mark on my head that, surely, will not be easy to forget.  _

_ In just half an hour or so, I was already at home, lying down at the bed like a devastated human being while remembering everything that Off had said. The only thing that pulled me out of my deep thinking was my charging phone, ringing as it receives a group call from my friends and the other gang.  _

_ "Hey, I'm sorry my phone died midway so I couldn't call any of you. I just got home, by the way." I simply said after answering the call. In the other lines were my five friends and Arm worried Weerayut. _

_ "It's okay, Gun. How did it go? Did you find him, Arm?" Newwiee asked the latter, but he was not answered through words. Instead, Arm just moved the phone away from his face until the screen showed up his chaotic friends, playfully beating up the poor Off Jumpol in the middle.  _

_ "He just got home from somewhere but he wouldn't tell us" Arm said before shaking his head slowly in disappointment. My brows furrowed at what he said.. didn't Off tell them that I found him? "And these dorks have been giving him non stop punches for making everyone worry." He then snickered like he was enjoying the sight of them. _

_ "That's good to hear," Saint commented before letting out a heavy sigh. "Well then, I better go home now." And the sound of the engine as he started it served as a cue that he's driving on his way home now. The twins, Jingjing, and Newwiee also decided to go back to their own places now while still connected to the call. "How was he anyway?" Saint asked without glancing at the camera of his phone.  _

_ "Well he got here reeking of alcohol plus cigars and a little wet all over. I think he stayed under the pouring rain, this dumbass. But he's okay now, we're planning to crash in his place tonight so we could tie him just if ever he would plan to run away again. I'm so sorry for the trouble, guys. And thanks so much, we'll make it up to you. Friday night, we're going for a Seafood dinner, it's on us." He gave us a small smile before raising his brow up and down.  _

_ I didn't know he smelt of alcohol and cigarettes.  _

_ "I seriously think that we are getting so close to having fins and shells because we've been having seafood for almost four times a week now!" Off's shout from Arm's line broke the silence in my room. In just a snap, their friends were already teaming up against him, telling their poor friend to shut up or else he will get another beating. The call soon ended after my friends have already arrived at their own homes, so we bid goodbyes. _

_ Days passed by without me even noticing it, Friday night came and I just saw myself sitting on a long table full of chaotic people.  _

_ "We should do this more often. It was so much fun being with you, guys!" Alice made a sad face before wrapping her arms around Jingjing's. Dinner is done and we have to part ways now because it's almost past 9 PM already, we were prolonged because of crazy conversations and laughter.  _

_ "Alice babe, you have our numbers. Give us a call if you want to hang out." Jingjing said before giving her cheek kisses and a small hug. Me and my friends also gave her that before bidding goodbyes to everybody. Now I was already walking on my way to my own car when a stranger showed up in front of me.  _

_ "Hi," the man that, I think was a little older than me, said before smiling. I didn't want to be rude so I was planning to respond to him by excusing myself but the smell of a hard liquor filled my nose, which was obviously from this one in front of me.  _

_ Bloody hell, this man stinks!  _

_ "Excuse me," I took a step sideways thinking that I could escape but he held on my wrist to stop me, and he was holding it tightly. Now I can feel my heart racing due to nervousness, he was starting to scare me.  _

_ "I've been keeping an eye on you ever since I saw you inside the restaurant. What's your name, cutie?" A creepy smile showed off from his lips, giving me total goosebumps. I got even more uncomfortable when the man took a step forward to get closer to me, tilting his head a little to the side and his eyes painted with lust as he looked at me from head to toe. _

_ "Hey, you're hurting me." His grip just tightened even more when I tried to remove it again. I think my skin is starting to get red because of his hold and I can also feel my bones aching, it was so painful.  _

_ "C'mon I'm just asking for your name-" in just a blink, he was already laid down on the ground before he could even finish his sentence. My lips parted when I saw blood coming out from the side of his lips. The sight of him on the ground with bleeding lips got me dumbfounded so I was startled when someone's hand held mine, forcefully pulling me back to stand behind him.  _

_ "The fuck are you doing?" Off's sharp voice got the other man's attention. The latter had to look up to see who the person who punched him was, stood up after gaining the strength to do so, and looking at Off from head to toe like he was already judging him in his mind before finally speaking.  _

_ "Oh, so he has a boyfriend." The guy snickered before looking at me with lustful eyes. "I should've expected that because he looks so stunning even just at first sight. Is he good in bed, too?" His dirty smirk creeped the shit out of me when he tried to get a glimpse but Off hid me behind him, taking a step forward before letting go of my hand.  _

_ "Goodness, Off stop!" It happened so fast and in just a blink, he had already punched the man down the floor for the second time, making the latter's bleeding lips bleed even more. I forcefully pulled Off away from the man because he looked raged, like he wanted to throw another punch but something is stopping him from doing so.  _

_ The stranger guy, on the other hand, was groaning in pain as he held on his bleeding lips and saw the liquid on his hand. His tiger eyes were directed to Off but this guy seemed to be not even scared at all.  _

_ "Let's go, Gun. Let that dumbass feel the ground." Off nonchalantly said before pulling me away from there, letting me go the moment we stepped beside my car. Still dumbfounded about what had happened, I couldn't move a muscle.  _

_ "Are you okay?" Off got my attention when he bent down to catch my eyes with his.  _

_ "I'm.. I'm okay," I unconsciously said while nodding. "T-Thank you," my shaking lips couldn't give him a smile because I still feel a little nervous about what happened.  _

_ "Be careful, will you? Something worse might've happened if I didn't come." He said before looking away then shaking his head in disappointment. "You should go home now, that dumbass might still be there." His head tilted a little to the side as he gestured the direction where we came from.  _

_ "Where's your motorbike?" I asked when I noticed that it was not parked around the restaurant.  _

_ "Arm picked me up this morning so I didn't bring my baby with me." Off simply said before glancing at his wrist watch. "I think you should go home now or else-" _

_ "Hop in," I said before using my thumb to point at my car beside me. His brows furrowed a little when he gave it a single glance before looking back at me with clueless eyes. "I'll drive you home," and with that, I opened the car door and went inside without waiting for him to answer.  _

_ Off looked a little hesitant when he stood there alone, looking at me with a confused look. But when I nodded at him to get in now, he finally gave in and did so. My car immediately seemed small when he sat on the passenger seat because he was so tall for the height of the car roof.  _

_ "Where do you live?" I asked after he finished settling in, the seat belt wrapped around his torso. He looked so stiff when I glanced at him which made me chuckle. "I know how to drive, Off." I joked before starting the engine.  _

_ "I'll just give you the directions." He said before pointing at the road in front of us. With that, I started driving on our way to his place while he was still giving me the directions, telling me to turn left, turn right, etc. Sooner enough, we arrived at the lobby of a condo building that I think was only two blocks away from mine.  _

_ "Thanks, Gun." Off was about to step out of my car when I remembered something to ask him.  _

_ "Hey, can I invite you over for dinner tomorrow?" His hands on the car door stopped even before they could open it. He slowly faced me with his brows furrowed and finally speaking up after a few seconds.  _

_ "What's the occasion?" He tilted his head a little to the side before leaning his head at the backrest of the seat.  _

_ "Nothing, really. I just want to treat you to good food for helping me back there." I shook my head lightly before looking at him with innocent eyes, testing my luck if that can work on him.  _

_ "If that's pork barbeque skewers or seafood, spare me." He raised his hand in front of me for a no, to which I giggled.  _

_ This man, really.. he's been whining about eating pork barbeque or seafood alternately multiple times in a week! He should at least be grateful because he can!  _

_ "No, it's neither of the two. You'll find out tomorrow," I raised my brows up and down to him in excitement. Off looked away from me with confused eyes, probably thinking if he should say yes or no, before looking back at me to give a few nods of agreement.  _

_ "Okay,"  _

And Off's back was the last thing I saw as he stepped out of the car before everything went black.. then my eyes opened in reality, seeing the morning sunlight coming in through the glass window of my room. 

"Good morning, Olly." 


	13. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for not being able to update a new chapter earlier than today. I've been so busy with some things at home. 
> 
> Anyway, it's Papi's birthday today!!! 
> 
> Have a great day everyday, friends!

"It's good to hear that you were able to retrieve some of your forgotten memories now. But, I still suggest you to continue your therapy and medications, it can help you fasten your recovery, Atthaphan. And don't forget to take the painkillers I prescribed just if ever your head will ache again." Doctor Wanaka told me after finishing our appointment. My family and I have been going to the hospital for my therapy as well as monthly check ups for everyone. 

"Yes, Doc. Thank you so much," I gave him a wai to show respect to which he only nodded with a small smile before patting my shoulder lightly. 

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to your parents now." I just thanked him again before finally leaving the room, letting him and my parents talk privately. 

It did not take them too long before the three of them went out of the room, bidding goodbyes to each other. Sooner enough, we finally left the hospital and went out for lunch, dining together in a restaurant where my parents had a table reservation. The lunch went fun and lively because of Way who has been in such a good mood ever since this morning when he woke up. 

While finishing my food, I felt my phone vibrating on the side pocket of my pants so I got it and checked whom it was from. 

**Fluke calling…**

"Mom, Dad, excuse me I'll just answer this. It's from Fluke." I politely said to which my parents only nodded, gesturing me to leave in the calmest way possible. Good thing the restaurant has a balcony area with no customers at this hour yet so that is where I headed to. 

"Hello? Fluke, what's up?" I casually said after picking up the call, standing on the balcony area with one hand resting on the wooden fence. 

"Gunnie, are you free today?" Fluke's sweet voice said through the other line. 

"Yes but I'm still dining with my family for lunch at a restaurant. What's the matter?" I glanced back at the direction where I came from, seeing my family continuing their meals. 

"Can you help me make some deserts for P'Ohm? Our month anniversary is nearing and that's one of the gifts I'm going to give him. I promise I'll make a lot for you, too!" He sounded so cute, I can almost hear his puppy eyes! 

"Of course, will it be just the two of us? Where's Coo?" My brows furrowed and lips parted a little upon mentioning the name of his twin. They have always been inseparable, I wonder what happened now.

"Yes, Earth only knows how to eat so he's not really helping me at all. You are the one I am inviting because I think you might've forgotten that we used to do this together before, I want to remind you again of how to do it." Now it was all of a sudden, his voice saddened upon opening up to the topic of my amnesia. 

"I did not forget it, Fluke. I remember everything about our friendship." I simply said before letting out a small smile even though he can't see it. 

"Oh, right hehe. Anyway, you can just crash into my place. I still have to buy the ingredients so just use the spare key you have." I confirmed that he was leaving when the door slammed lightly, followed by the sound of the keys clinking. 

"Okay, be there in an hour or so." Fluke mimicked kiss sounds before hanging up the call, and so with that, I went back to my family and took my seat before finishing my food. 

Half an hour or more, everyone already finished their meals so we're now good to go. I bid goodbyes to them and parted ways when they left to go home while I took the cab to go to Fluke's place. Good thing it was not that traffic so I arrived there in no time. After paying for the cab, I went out and walked my way in front of the elevator, waited for it to open so I could go inside the lift. 

Fluke's unit was on the eighth floor of the building so I pressed that button, and sooner went out when we reached the said pad. And as what he had said, I used the spare key to open his front door. There was no one inside when I arrived, only the sticky note attached to his refrigerator. 

**Gunnie, you can open the TV if you feel a little bored and I also have some snacks here inside if you get hungry. I'll be home soon.**

**Fluke**

Since I just finished having lunch, I decided to just get some orange juice from his fridge and take a seat on the couch of his living room with the television on. The shows were boring so I ended up turning it off anyway, placing the remote control on the coffee table in front of me before leaning comfortably on the couch. 

I was peacefully drinking on the glass of orange juice when my eyes landed on a frame beside the couch, getting my full attention when I realized that I was also there. It was a picture of us with Alice and Arm's chaotic friends when we dined for a seafood dinner, I think it was the same event as I dreamt of the last time. 

The frame seemed like it was asking me to pick it up, and so I did. Jingjing was seated next to me, Newwiee on the other side, and Off in front of me. Earth was beside Fluke and on their other sides were Kao and Ohm. Saint, lastly, was seated beside Jingjing, Zee right next to him. The smiles showing off from everyone's faces lifted up my mood as I remembered that night and what happened after it. 

When I placed it back on the side table, another frame, the one beside it, got my attention. It had a picture of us six during our high school graduation. We looked like fetuses back then, I can't help but chuckle when I recalled some memories of that time. The last frame from the side table had Fluke's picture with his boyfriend, Ohm Thitiwat. They looked so adorable, I think it was captured when they officially became a couple a few months ago from now. 

"Gun, hey," I was a little jumpy when a voice filled the room, none other than the owner's. Fluke placed down the paper bag of groceries on his island counter before walking to me so he could give me cheek kisses. "How long have you been waiting? I'm sorry the queue at the grocery store was so long." He whined before taking his seat beside me. 

"I just got here, too. Don't worry," I gave him a reassuring smile before patting his shoulder. 

"Shall we start now?" He raised his brows up and down to me in excitement, eyes lit up and his lips in a cute smile. "We're going to make Leum Kleun," he then crunched his nose in an adorable way. 

"Okay, I'm excited," I nodded to him multiple times before we both stood up and he dragged me to his kitchen. We started preparing the ingredients first, as well as the materials we will be needing for making the Leum Kleun. 

That is, I think, one of the best desserts Fluke can make. He knows a lot about cooking and I can safely say that his skills are like a pro's already. Even his experimented recipes are all great and mouth-watering! He has always been the chef of the group, the one who feeds us all with his magnificent creations. We would always crash into his place whenever we crave for something he makes. 

"I think we can start now." He simply said after looking at his island counter full of ingredients and cooking materials. So with that, we started on doing the said dessert. It was actually easy, we've done this before, more or like three times already, I think? I don't know.

Fluke would always like to make it in different colors that are light for the eyes so we made some in pink, blue, green, purple, and they turned out great! They all looked so cute especially after putting some coconut cream on top of it. All in all, we have made almost a hundred pieces of Leum Kleun and we already had some, but there were still a lot left. 

Fluke gave me half of it since he'll be giving some for Ohm on their day, and some to our friends. I didn't know whom else to give some of it aside from my family so I still have some to keep in my fridge. We placed it on cute brown boxes that came with blue ribbons and mine reached about eight boxes with almost six pieces each. 

"Thanks for coming, Gunnie." Fluke said in a soft voice when we finished everything and decided to rest in his living room for a while before I head home later. Both of us were holding a canned beer, just to freshen ourselves. "I just really wanted to do this again with you. It's been a long time since the last." He pouted like a kid, to which I found cute. 

"How long has it been? Four months? Five?" My brows furrowed at the thought. If I've spent two months in a coma and I got out almost a month ago already, then I think it has been four months, going five. 

"I'm not quite sure but I remember that the last time was when you asked me if I could teach you how to do this." Fluke leaned his back on the couch and let his nape feel relaxed. 

"I asked you how to do this?" My head tilted a little to the side when I got somewhat confused. I don't remember myself asking him about how to do this dessert. 

"Yeah, you said you wanted to learn how to do some desserts so you came to me. Don't you remember?" Fluke made a sad face, to which I chuckled a little. 

"Maybe it just slipped from my mind," I gave him a small smile before looking away from him. In my mind, I was trying to recall when was that but I was stopped when Fluke's phone rang, receiving a call from his boyfriend. 

"I'll just answer this, Gun." He had a cute smile formed on his lips before it let out a soft giggle, so I let him leave to go to the balcony and answer the phone call from his dearest Ohm Thitiwat. I took the chance to think about what he said earlier.. but I can't seem to remember it. 

Why would I ask him about how to do this? 

In the middle of my deep thinking, my phone beeped inside my pocket so I got it and checked who it was. As soon as I saw whose name it was.. I immediately felt my heartbeat racing. 

What the actual fuck? 

Why is it racing?! 

It's just a notification from Off Jumpol so why is my heart reacting like this?! 

I reached out for my chest and felt its beating.. as well as its warmth from the inside. 

Hey.. calm down, will you? 

I felt a little hesitant to open the app and see what he had just posted but my fingers weren't cooperating! In just a click, my eyes were already seeing a photo uploaded with the name of the slacker. 

It was a photo of a tall tree in a worm's eye view, captured during sunset time because the green leaves were painted a little orange and the sun's rays were seen. I think there is nothing much special aside from the photo itself, it was such a good one. No doubt that the number of likes were continuously rising as seconds passed by. 

**off_jumpol:** are my… 

And with just those two words, that had only five letters, my heart felt like it'll explode any moment. 

Bloody hell..

Why the hell am I feeling this way over a picture of a tall tree?!

"Gun!" 

"Goodness!" I almost dropped the canned beer because of shock when Fluke called me, almost in a shout. "Fluke, why would you scare me like that?" I whined before doing an inhale-exhale process. 

Damn, I think my heart skipped a beat out of shock! 

"Scare you? I wasn't scaring you, I've been calling you for like three times already but you were not responding." He simply explained with a hint of raised voice like I just did something ridiculous. 

"Good god, my heart almost went out. Why were you calling me anyway?" I put back my phone in my pocket before facing him. 

"P'Ohm wants to have a dinner date with me tonight. Do you want me to call the others so they could give you company here?" Fluke raised his hand, the one holding his phone, and placed it near his ear. 

"No, it's okay. I should probably go now," I stood up and fixed my things but he gestured to me to stop. 

"Then we should head out together. Let me just prepare myself. Can you give me at least, uhm.. 10 minutes?" He even showed me his ten fingers before looking at me with puppy eyes. 

"Sure," I simply nodded before going back to my seat. Obviously exhilarated, he immediately ran to his closet and searched for an outfit. I got bored by just watching him so I decided to help him out. 

Fluke often goes for something simple but fashionable so I suggested he wear a plain white shirt underneath a blue flannel, and to pair it with a white jeans plus black shoes. I was glad he liked my suggestion so it did not take him too long before he finished, then we already left this place. I was holding a paper bag with a handle where the boxes of Leum Kleun are as we went inside the lift. 

"P'Ohm," as soon as we reached the lobby, Ohm Thitiwat stood and immediately wrapped his arm around Fluke's waist so he could give him a kiss in the forehead, to which my friend giggled and blushed. 

The silent gay, Ohm Thitiwat. 

"I miss you," the taller one whispered, or if I could call that a whisper because I clearly heard it. I saw the way Fluke avoided his boyfriend's eyes because he was starting to blush. This wholesome PDA couple!

Hello, pay some respect to the single community! 

I faked a cough to get my dear friend's attention, and gladly, it really did. Their eyes looked at me like they didn't know I was here in the first place, geez. Ohm immediately gave me a small smile before letting out an empty chuckle. 

"Gun, hey," he simply said before giving my friend a side-eye look. "How were you doing now?" I believe Fluke had already mentioned that I was also here so he wasn't surprised anymore. 

"I've been good. Actually, I think I'm getting better now." I returned the same smile to him before looking at my friend. "Hey, I should probably go now. Fluke, thank you so much for these. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Enjoy your date, you two." Then I gave him cheek kisses and a pat on Ohm's shoulder. 

"Drive safe, Gun." I just nodded to Fluke as a reply before finally leaving, walking on my way to the main road so I could get a cab. Good thing I had one after a couple of minutes. 

I told the driver the name of the condo I am living at so he started maneuvering the car to the said destination. It did not take us too long before we finally arrived in front of the entrance. After paying for the bill, I stepped out of his cab and went inside the lobby, still holding the paper bag with boxes of Leum Kleun. The lift on my way to the tenth floor came without even making me wait much longer. 

Sooner enough, I already got inside my own room, placed the bag down the island counter before heading to the couch in my living room. I felt exhausted and my back hurts a little so I decided to lay down and let the soft couch remove the pain my back feels. It was only after a few seconds before I felt my phone beeped as it received a notification. When I checked on it, it had Off Jumpol's name again, still from Instagram. 

Why am I receiving notifications from his activity anyway? Since when was this happening? 

But then again, my fingers seemed to have their own will of pressing the notification, revealing the slacker's newly-posted IG story. 

It was a picture of the night sky with the moon at its fullness, stars and clouds scattered around it. There was a small caption on it saying.. 

**_the moon loved you the way I do.._ **

* * *

**_FEBRUARY, 2018._ **

_ "Hey, I'm sorry I was late. Traffic," I turned to look at my back when I heard someone's voice coming from there. Off had a not-so-apologetic smile when I saw him, one hand scratching on his nape as he let out an awkward chuckle.  _

_ "That's okay," I gave him a reassuring smile before nodding, urging him to follow me as I start walking. "Let's get going now," and so he simply obliged. I felt the cold air from the mall's air condition touching my bare skin as we entered through the two glass doorways. Off was just simply roaming his eyes around as we continued to walk until we arrived at my favorite buffet restaurant.  _

_ "Shabu-shabu?" His brows furrowed a little when he saw the lit signage of the restaurant. It was a famous shabu-shabu place here inside the mall, and also my most favorite. I have dined here countless times already either with my family, friends, or some orgmates.  _

_ "Yeah, you don't want it?" I looked at him when his eyes remained on the name of the restaurant, Shabu. I couldn't read his face so I decided to just wait for him to respond.  _

_ "No, it's just that.. I've never really tried shabu-shabu before." He gave me a single innocent glance before looking back at the dining area of the place. You will easily recognize that the place had a lot of people dining inside but I think that Off and I can still manage to get a table for two.  _

_ "Are you serious?!" I scoffed in disbelief, finding it somewhat amusing to know someone who hadn't tried shabu-shabu before even though he spent most of his dinners at a seafood or a pork barbeque restaurant.  _

_ "Yeah, those dorks would always want to dine for some grilled pork or seafood, seafood platter, fried seafood, pork barbeque skewers, and such. And you know what I think? We are so close to being either a pork or one of those seafood." He shook his head in disappointment yet still having an amused smile on his lips, probably remembering his chaotic friends over dinner.  _

_ Geez, where was he when everybody else enjoys shabu-shabu? _

_ "Then let's go!" And so with that, I dragged him inside like an excited kid ready to have a day at an amusement park. Off was just right after me, letting me drag him to my favorite restaurant since it was also his first time here.  _

_ "We'll go eat all you can, please." I simply said to the attendant from the counter when they asked for our orders. I was already getting some cash on my purse when Off said something that stopped me.  _

_ "How much for this?" He simply asked, roaming his eyes around the place and observing the other people while his hands were getting something from his back pocket. "This place looks luxurious, Gun." And when he got it out, his wallet caught my attention.  _

_ "It's on me," then I put down his hands, stopping him from getting his card because I saw his hands aiming for it. The confused eyes of this man looked at mine, with his lips slightly parted. "That's what I told you last night, right?"  _

_ "Okay.." he was left with no choice so he decided to just put his wallet back to where he got it. And with that, I finally gave the payment to the lady on the counter, thanking her as she gave us the pass for Eat-All-You-Can Buffet.  _

_ Good thing they still have empty tables so we got a table for two from the side of the glass window. People who walk past the restaurant can be seen through our side. I chose this spot because the couch is comfortable, but of course I asked for Off's opinion first if he agrees with me, and he does.  _

_ After finally getting our seats, we decided to roam around the buffet area so we could get the ingredients needed. Off wanted to try something new to taste so he put beef, beef tongues, pork jowls, and chicken, on the protein platter while I got the others like veggies and dipping sauces. I asked him to put some shrimp and crab sticks because those are my favorite so he gladly obliged. Glass noodles were the last one that I got before the two of us headed to our table.  _

_ We only have 100 minutes to finish everything so we started eating now. Off was just watching me while I put the ingredients on the pool of broth, and I don't even think that he has any idea about cooking so he decided to just watch.  _

_ What a cutie.  _

_ "Do you often dine here?" He suddenly asked while I was already mixing the sauce. He offered to give a helping hand by stirring the ingredients on the broth so that's what he's doing right now.  _

_ "Yes, this is my favorite shabu-shabu restaurant." I simply answered, and was about to put a spoonful of toasted chili flakes on the dipping when I remembered something. "Oh, you don't eat spicy food, right?" He just pursed his lips and raised his brows a little before nodding like a kid, elbows leaning on top of the table and crossed in front of his chest.  _

_ I only found out about it when we joined them over a dinner at Toy's place for the first time. We were seated right next to each other so I noticed that he never touched spicy food or even the dippings.  _

_ Soon enough, all the ingredients from the broth were ready so we started on boiling the pieces of meat one by one, Off following me as I taught him how to do it. It did not take him too long before he dipped the beef tongue on the sauce I made, and tasted it afterwards.  _

_ "Wow.." _

_ I was glad I made the right choice of bringing him here when I saw how satisfied he was for the beef tongue. Off tried each meat from the protein platter first and every piece brought him to a dreamland, before he decided to finally fill his bowl with soup and veggies.  _

_ "Everything tastes great," _

_ Written on his face was the fact that he likes everything in front of us. _

_ How ironic that he had always been eating seafood and pork barbeque but he got so excited for shabu-shabu, right? Weird. _

_ "I've always wanted to try something new to taste. Thanks for bringing me here." A cute smile showed off from his lips, like a kid who had just finished all the rides from an amusement park.  _

_ And it made me shut.  _

_ Of how enjoying he looks while digging the shabu-shabu, it made me speechless. This has got to be the very first time I saw Off.. in a different way.  _

_ Bloody hell.. it felt dangerous.  _

_ “Hey, this is actually good. I like this one the most.” I was pulled out from my own thoughts when Off looked up to me and showed me a soft smile. He was referring to the beef tongue from his bowl, swimming on the hot broth along with the veggies.  _

_ Oh goddamn it.. my heart fucking raced!  _

_ I must've been lost in my own crazy thoughts that I didn't notice how Off eats like a hungry beast, like he was here to dine alone.  _

_ “Hey, slow down, caveman.” He glared at me when I teased him, shook his head a little before focusing back on his food. "Try it with the egg," then I carefully placed the egg that I poached from the broth, and some glass noodles, into his bowl. And he willingly did so, to which I smiled when I saw that he liked it.  _

_ "Wow, that is so good," he said before trying it again. I don't think I'm still eating anymore, just simply watching him is already fun and satisfying because he looked like a mukbang vlogger having shabu-shabu for content.  _

_ “Good evening, gentlemen. Would you like to take a picture with our film camera? It will be posted on the restaurant’s Memory Board.” Off and I looked at the waiter who passed by us and said those words in a convincing voice, before gesturing to us the bulletin board on the wall from the other side of the place. Attached there were a lot of polaroid pictures and some decorations connected to shabu-shabu and such.  _

_ “Yeah, sure,” I got the camera from his hands, to which he simply smiled, and was just about to raise my arm so I could have Off in the frame when he blocked the camera from his face.  _

_ “I don’t want to take a picture.” He shook his head a little before bowing down lower so he could not be seen on the camera, and then focusing back on his eating again. Geez, I think his nape can break because of how low he was bowing down his head, trying so hard to avoid the frame.  _

_ “Okay,” I pretended to move it away from Off and when he was already not looking, I took that opportunity to snap a stolen picture of him. He probably heard the sound so he looked up and I pretended to take pictures of the table.  _

_ I had to wait for a couple of seconds before the film came out and I can say that the polaroid picture of him turned out great, and I wanted to be reminded of it so I snapped a picture of it, with my phone this time.  _

_ Even though his head was bowed down, I can still see his facial features so the next time I'll be here, I will know that it's him.  _

_ “Thank you,” I returned the camera to the waiter, and also gave him the filmed picture of the man sitting in front of me. My eyes followed the waiter until he attached the picture on the Memory Board. After doing so, he then continued to roam around and ask the other customers if they would also want to. _

_ I will make sure to sit there next time if Off comes back here with me.  _

_ "What is it?" I looked at Off when he asked me that, trying to find where I was looking at. His brows were furrowed a little while he was roaming his eyes around, spotting the place where my attention was. "Is there a problem?"  _

_ "H-Huh? No, nothing," I shook my head and went back to eating, biting my lower lip as I bow down to stifle a smile.  _

_ "Anyway, can you help me with something after this?" His words made me look up to him, and simply raised my brows so he could shoot his concern. "My mom wants me to buy some new stuff for my place but I'm not quite good at that. If you don't have any plans after this, can you help me?" The way he scratched his nape while saying the thing about his mom looked adorable and funny, I can't help but chuckle.  _

_ "Sure," I simply said with a single nod before looking away to boil some pork jowls. "We still have how many minutes left?" I glanced at him before putting the pork jowl on his bowl of soup. He looked down on his wrist watch and calculated the remaining time that we have.  _

_ "45 minutes more," his lips let out a small smile when he turned his eyes to the bowl of soup in front of him. The pork jowl did not even enjoyed swimming along with the other ingredients because Off immediately dug in to it. He used his chopsticks to get it, with some Asian mushrooms and cabbage, before dipping it on the sauce that I made. The sound he made while savoring the meat brought music to my ears, his humming even raised in excitement.  _

_ "Should we get some more?" I suggested because I saw that we were already running out of meat from the platter. "What do you want?" Now I was about to stand up so I could go to the buffet area when he waved his hands in front of me, stopping me from going.  _

_ "I'll go, you can just stay there." And so with that, he picked up the platter of meat and placed the remaining pieces on the broth, before finally leaving with a playful smile on his lips.  _

_ I decided to just make myself busy with cooking the meats and placing it on our bowls afterwards. Shabu-shabu never really failed in making me happy because see, how fun is this, cooking a variety of meats and eating it together with the veggies never bore me out.  _

_ "Here you go," I had to look up to see Off when he returned from filling the protein platter. He sat back on his chair and immediately dug into his bowl, savoring even the soup itself.  _

_ I didn't know how many pieces we knocked up within a hundred minutes until it eventually ended. We felt so full it was at first hard to stand up. Off looked like a sugar daddy when he held on his bloated tummy, I can't help but laugh at his state. Sooner enough, we were finally able to stand and leave the restaurant so we could go to the department store.  _

_ "What are you going to buy, anyway?" I asked upon watching him get a huge cart and we then began to roam around the store.  _

_ "My mother told me to change some curtains, bed sheets, pillow cases, and buy some groceries well in fact I don't even cook for myself at my own place." He nonchalantly said while looking around to find something to buy. It was so obvious that he was trying so hard not to roll his eyes upon the mention of what his mom wants him to do. "Right, I also need to buy some cleaning materials. She told my room cleaner to stop for a while so I would learn how to clean my own place."  _

_ "Geez, I didn't know you were born with much of a silver spoon." I said with an amused smile, to which he only raised a brow and shook his head a little, before looking away. "Fabrics come from this way, let's go check some."  _

_ And so with that, we started walking on our way to the curtains' corner first. Off looked like a critic searching for the best one from the variety of hanged curtains. He seemed too serious about this matter so I ended up biting my own lip just to stop myself from giggling. He kinda looked fresh even though he had on just a poker face, not even a small smile can be seen from him.  _

_ "Do you have a picture of your place?" I suddenly asked when I got curious. I at least need to see how it looks like so I would know what will be suitable for it.  _

_ "Oh, right, I do have," Off just reached for his pants' side pocket where his phone is kept. It took him a couple of seconds before he could show it to me, a picture of his living room. Next to it were pictures of his bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. _

_ Boy, his place is spacious!  _

_ "Do you have any color scheme in mind?" I asked after seeing all sides of his place. Off already put back his phone in his pocket so we then went back to roaming around the curtains' section.  _

_ "Nothing in particular," he simply shook his head without looking at me.  _

_ "I think it's better if we get something with colors like dirty white and brown so your place would look cozy. What do you think?" My suggestion made him look back at me, face a little confused.  _

_ "I think it's okay," his head nodded a few times before he pursed his lips. "But do you think that will blend in with those two? I like that one," I followed Off's finger when he pointed to the carpet's section where a dark brown round carpet was hanging alone on a corner.  _

_ "Yeah, that'll look great," the carpet looks like it can complement every color it will be paired with so I agreed. And besides, it's his own place anyway, I was just here to help.  _

_ "I'll go get one," he told me to wait before walking on his way to that part of the store. I got a little bored waiting so I decided to just choose something good from the fabrics. Pillow cases were the closest to me so that is what I checked first and in the end, the dirty white one still got my interest.  _

_ "How was it?" Off asked after coming back, on his cart was the rolled carpet already. "That looks okay," he pointed to the fabric I was holding.  _

_ "Yeah, I also think so. At least it will not get easily dirty," and so with that, Off got it from my hands and put it on the cart, too. "Let's choose your curtain now," he then just simply nodded in agreement before we went there.  _

_ "This one looks good," I touched the hanged white curtain on a see through style and showed it to him. "Your living room will not look too dark with this." Off was just nodding at my suggestions, probably considering it.  _

_ "You're right, I'll get that. And this one, too," he took a few steps and showed me a dark brown thick curtain from the same lane. "I want this for my room, do you think this is fine?" He then felt the fabric with his slender fingers.  _

_ "Yes, that's actually suitable for bedrooms because it's thick." I simply nodded. _

_ "I'll get them both," and so he really did get the two styles of curtains from the boxed ones, two sets each because maybe one box was not enough. Lastly, we went to the bed sheets' corner where Off looked like it was the hardest decision of his life.  _

_ "I think this will also look great in your bedroom." I pointed at the simple brown set of bed sheets and comforter, the comforter had a darker shade than the bed sheets. "Matching colors with your curtains," I then pointed at the said fabric on his cart.  _

_ In the end, Off considered my suggestion of choosing the brown one. The cleaning materials were the last thing we got before we headed to the counter. Good thing the queue was not that long so it did not take us too long before we finally left the department store. He said he'll just do the grocery shopping tomorrow because he's already tired now so I just let him decide. We only parted ways when we arrived at the ground floor which was the parking lot. But before I could even walk away from him, Off called out my name.  _

_ "Thanks for helping me,"  _

Off's cute smile that almost hid his eyes was the last thing I saw before my eyes opened at 6 o'clock in the morning, the alarm clock doing its work of waking me up. 

When I reached for my phone to turn the alarm off and check on it, a notification from Off Jumpol showed off from my screen. I got curious about it so I tapped to open the Instagram app and see his recent IG post. 

It was a photo of a silhouette captured from the floor that, I think, was snapped during sunset time because of the orange lighting. The figure was in a shape of a person, arms raised in the sky like he/she could really reach it. 

**off_jumpol:** You.. 


	14. 13

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." I waved my hand to Jane, Nanon, Ssing, and Chimon when the class ended. As soon as I opened the door, a tall man with his small smile welcomed me. 

"Hey," I simply greeted before getting closer to him. 

"Hi, classes all done?" Off asked as soon as I stood in front of him. I was about to answer when the door opened behind me, letting out the noises from my friends who had just left the room. 

"Off, hey!" Jane exclaimed the moment she saw the guy in front of me. "How's it going? Too bad you're not in the same class with us anymore." Her smile then immediately faded. When I turned to Off, he had on a small smile before he waved his hand for a second.

"That's okay, I still have a lot to catch up with. Maybe next year," he simply said before letting out a short chuckle. 

"We can still meet each other anyway. It's not like Off went to another college, Jane." I can't help but giggle when Chimon looked away from her to hide his rolling eyes. 

This kid, really! 

"And besides, he always comes to pick up Gun anyway." Nanon commented and with that being said, all eyes turned to me now. 

The way they look at me seemed like I just betrayed them behind their backs! 

"Really? Since when was that?" Jane asked in excitement, eyes lit up like she had just heard the very best news of this day. "Are you two-" her words were hung up when the three boys covered her mouth using the palm of their hands, stopping her from speaking. 

"We should probably go now. See you guys next time!" Ssing's awkward chuckle slipped out from his own lips, the other hand scratching on his nape like he had just been embarrassed. My brows furrowed at the sight of the three of them covering Jane's mouth but it also made me chuckle because the girl was trying so hard to remove their hands from her face. 

"Bye!" Nanon and Chimon waved their free hands to us two before they finally left, carefully, and maybe a little forcefully, pulling Jane to start walking so they could have their exit already. The chuckle I was trying to hold slipped out from my own lips the moment they had disappeared from my sight. I almost forgot that someone was standing in front of me only until I heard him fake coughing, which caught my attention back to him. 

"Hey," I simply greeted when I turned again. He was only wearing a white dress shirt with two buttons opened, paired with a black jeans and white shoes, but he looked so cool and handsome right before my eyes. Is that even possible? 

Shouldn't that be illegal?

"Hi, how's your day?" His thin lips formed into a small smile before we mutually decided to start walking now. 

"It's been great, not much stressful and exhausting. How about yours?" I returned the same smile and remained my eyes on him, patiently waiting like a kid ready for a bedtime story. 

"Still left with a lot of workloads but so far, they're manageable." Off just pursed his lips and nodded a few times before glancing at me like he was trying to tell me something, more like to convince me about what he was saying. 

"Anyway, do you have any plans for tonight?" I asked, wanting to have something to talk about. 

"Mom wants me to go home for dinner.. and you." The last two words came out almost a whisper but I still managed to hear it. 

"Me? I don't have any plans for tonight. My friends are busy with their orgs and-" I was cut off from speaking when Off let out a soft chuckle while shaking his head in amusement. 

"No, I mean.. my mom wants you to come home with me for dinner tonight." Off's amusement made me stunned and speechless.. like I had just malfunctioned because of the sight of him smiling and chuckling. 

And wait a second, what?

"Y-Your mom? Wants me? To go to your house? For dinner?" I asked while my mouth hangs open after every question, obviously confused and dumbfounded. My index finger was even moving from pointing to Off, then to myself, back to back a lot of times.

"Yeah, she asked me if I could bring you there tonight because it's her birthday." He slightly shrugged before scratching on his nape, looking away with his awkward chuckle. 

"Why would she want me there on her birthday? We haven't even met-" my brows can't help but furrow when I tried to recall if I already met his mom.. oh right, I forgot everything about him. "Or have we?" 

"You met her only once but she immediately liked you from that day forwards." Off had on a small smile while looking somewhere else like he just remembered something precious. 

"I haven't prepared any gift for her." I panicked when I remembered that the invitation was so spontaneous that I haven't even bought anything for his mom. "Let's go to the mall right now!" And with that being said, I held Off on his wrist so I could drag him to walk faster. We reached his car in no time, he was even laughing at me because of my reaction, but he still chose to start the car now. 

"What is she like?" I asked when we were already on our way to the mall. His mom, I think, is just at the same age as mine so maybe I can easily find something for her. Grace and I used to go to the mall to buy something for mom so I'm no longer unfamiliar with it. 

"Well, she's jolly, very lovely, kind, and warm-hearted. She likes to cook a lot, and spends most of her time inside the kitchen, or going grocery shopping. If she's in a good mood, she would go home with a handful of shopping bags from designer brands." I can see adoration from his eyes as he continues to describe his own mother.. and it made my heart skip a beat. "Lately she's been busy playing with my niece, she easily falls in love with kids." Off's smile widened upon the mention of his mom playing with his niece. It must've been a lovely sight to see. 

"How about your father? What is he like? Have I met him before?" The smile he had on just a second ago instantly faded as his lips pursed. 

Did I just hit the wrong spot? 

"My dad can be a little strict sometimes but we're okay now. He's still working so most of the time, he's out of the country but he would always bring my mom with him so they could also travel abroad. They're still so in love with each other." A small smile escaped from his lips. "And yes, you've also met him once. When we get there, you don't have to force yourself on remembering them. Take it easy, okay?" 

"I will," I simply nodded like a kid. 

Sooner enough, we finally arrived at the mall, stepping out of the car and walking on our way to the entrance from the ground floor. I think Off already has a present for his own mother so maybe I can ask him for some suggestions about what to buy. 

"What's your gift for her?" Off and I turned to each other at the same time when I asked him that while we were strolling around the place. 

"I bought a designer bag for her." He simply said while roaming his eyes around, probably trying to find a shop we can buy something from. 

"She likes those stuffs?" My head tilted a little to the side as I waited for his response, only to receive a single glance and a nod. 

"Yeah, lately we've been spoiling her with those." Off snickered like he just remembered something funny, shaking his head a little. 

"Then maybe I should buy something else." My index finger went up to touch my chin when I started thinking about what else to give her. "Can I see her picture?" Off looked at me when I nudged him on the arms, asking him for a photo of his mom. He did not even think twice about it, hands making their way to his side pocket so he could reach for his phone. 

Off's mom looks stunning with some resemblances of him. 

"What are you planning to buy?" He suddenly asked when I entered the shop that first came into my mind after seeing her photo. I still don't have an answer yet so I decided to just show him a pout with my shoulder shrugged a little. 

I roamed around the shop, Off sitting on the couch while watching me choose something for his mom. 

A white leather coat with a furry hoodie caught my attention. Off had mentioned that his parents sometimes travel abroad so I think she can use this but I should probably ask him first. I got that coat and continued to roam around the racks, only to be stopped when my eyes spotted a light brown trench coat that could almost reach below her knees. I also got it and looked for anything else. The last thing that caught my interest was a midnight blue evening dress which, I think, will look best for his mother. I ended up having three different options. 

Off raised his head up to look at me when I stood in front of him, putting down the hand which was holding his phone. His eyes then settled at the clothes I was holding before his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Do you think she will like this?" I showed him the leather coat with a furry hoodie, to which his head tilted while looking at it. 

"I think so, but that's too pricey for a present." Off only shook his head as a no before leaning on the backrest of the couch, looking like a critic judging a potential stylist. 

"How about this?" The trench coat replaced the leather one, letting him see it as I tried to seek his opinion. With no seconds getting wasted, Off immediately pursed his lips and shook his head to object.

"She already has the same trench coat." His index finger made its way to point at the coat I was holding, before it rested on his chin. With that being said, I immediately showed him the last one. 

"This one?" The glitters from the midnight blue evening dress reflected on his eyes, seeming like he had just imagined his mother on the same dress.

"They're all too pricey, Gun." He simply shook his head at the dress before turning his gaze to me. "My mother will surely fall in love with whatever you give her. You don't have to worry that much." It was so obvious that he wanted so much to sigh but I can't seem to find the reason why he won't release it. 

"Off Jumpol, will you please just help me choose?" I couldn't help it anymore when my eyes rolled while looking away from him, only to get back at staring at him after a second. The lazy look I gave made his lips part a little, before it let out an amused chuckle. 

"Okay, okay, geez." Off then stood up and got the clothes from my hand so he could return it to where I got them. Now he was already with me when I started roaming around the shop for the second time. He's not even saying anything else other than the fact that all the stuff here is pricey so I would always tell him to just forget about the price, it's for his mom anyway. 

While we were strolling around the store looking for the perfect gift, my eyes landed on a pair of simple stilettos in beige color. I was not even sure about his mom's shoe size but it really got my attention, so I ended up picking it to have a closer look. 

I believe this will look good for her.

"It's the same size as her feet, and she likes that color." Off's voice startled me a little like I wasn't aware that he had been here with me in the first place. The pair of eyes of this man that was at first looking at the stilettos, met with mine. 

"You think so? Is she fond of stilettos?" I showed him the pair I was holding. 

"What stilettos?" His face looked puzzled, which made me giggle for a second before answering him. 

"Shoes with this kind of heels are called stilettos." I raised the shoes up and showed him the pointed heels of the pair I was holding. 

"You can call it her comfort slippers," amusement can be seen all over his face, it was heartwarming. 

"Okay, I will buy this." Now I was about to go to the counter while holding the pair of stilettos when Off Jumpol's hand reached out to hold my arm. 

"You'll buy her those highly expensive feet wrecker in that instant?" He asked in disbelief, mouth hangs open upon the thought of what he had just said. Because of his words, some eyes turned to us with judging looks like we had just robbed the whole place. 

This man.. really! 

"Will you lower down your voice, Off Jumpol?! Geez, the manager might kick us out." He was about to answer me when I immediately covered his mouth with the palm of my hand, shutting him up. "You told me she likes this kind and color so I'm going to buy it now. We don’t have all the time in the world before dinner time arrives." It was so obvious that he was stronger than me so he managed to remove my hand from his face, locking it with his so I could not do it again. 

Oh.. my geez. I think my heart just jumped. 

"But you could’ve just chosen a less expensive one, Gun. Or.. or at least have some options. That’s way too costly of a gift for a simple dinner.” He argued, but still with a low voice like he was so close to admitting defeat. 

“I don’t really mind the price, Off. As long as I know she will like my present then I’m already good with that.” I said in a convincing voice, but he seemed so stern I wasn’t expecting that he’s going to say the next words. 

“Fine, I will let you buy her that..'' Off Jumpol’s disappointed sigh gave me a little relief because he finally gave in. Well.. maybe that’s what I thought.. “But I will pay half of it.” And so with that being said, he got the stilettos from my hands before he confidently headed towards the counter, so ready to pay for the heels. It took me a few more seconds before I could finally function, chasing after him so I could at least try to change his mind. 

“Off Jumpol, it’s really fine with me.” Luckily, I still managed to catch up with him even with these short legs of mine. 

Well, at least they’re strong!

“But not with me,” Off’s single glance at me was followed by a confused look when he saw my reaction.. brows furrowed at him with tiger eyes that are now so ready to throw hands. “Gun.. what-” it was then followed by a long heavy sigh before he raised hands like he was already surrendering. “Okay, okay, I won’t meddle now.” He simply said while giving in. I had to look away from him just to stifle a smile that had been wanting to show off ever since his voice softened upon seeing my reaction. 

Why is he being like this anyway? 

“Good,” and finally, I won! Not wanting to waste any second, I immediately gave the stilettos to the woman on the counter, and my card right after it. Off was just standing here beside me, obviously reluctant but was left with no choice but to just let me pay. 

It was maybe because I was delighted seeing Off giving in for the first time, that everything seemed so fast. 

The next thing I knew, we were already on our way to their house. We dropped by to my place a while ago so I could change my clothes to something casually formal.. or what? I don't really know. 

“Are you okay?” I suddenly asked when I noticed Off’s tight grip on the steering wheel. It was as if he didn’t know I was here, he was a little jumpy. 

“U-Uhm, yeah, of course.” Then a small smile showed off from his lips. I didn’t know whether to be convinced about it because his mind seemed to fly away from this car, but I also didn’t want to push through. “We’ve got a long way ahead, you can sleep if you feel drowsy.” He then gave me a single glance to show a cute smile. 

“Won’t you feel a little lonely with that?” I felt the need to ask, and my lips couldn’t hold it any longer, so it slipped from my mouth. Off only chuckled at what I said, looking at me with an amused smile before shaking his head. “Let’s just listen to some music so you won’t feel bored. I’m sorry I’m really sleepy right now.” And just the perfect timing, I suddenly yawned. He agreed to have some music so I connected my phone on his car’s bluetooth, shuffle playing my playlist because I was too sleepy to choose. Right after I put down my phone on the board in front of me, One Direction’s song 18 played. “Safe roads, Off.” 

“Sleep well,” his small smile was the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes, leaning on the backrest comfortably and my cheeks on my shoulder so I could sleep in a resting position. 

“Gun.. Gun.. wake up now, we’re almost there.” I felt small someone’s cold hands which woke me up. When I opened my eyes, I saw Off Jumpol’s hand on my arm, shaking it a little. I had to yawn, stretch my arms and legs, wipe the corners of my eyes, and sit straight before I could even finally gather all my senses back. The speaker was still on, playing Ed Sheeran's song Drunk. “Hey,” he called out in almost a whisper. 

“Hi, did I slept for too long?” I asked, to which Off simply shook his head. 

“No, no, not really.” He answered, eyes remaining on the roads as he swiftly turned the steering wheel to the right. “We’re almost there so I decided to wake you up now.” Off looked so calm and composed while driving, probably the reason why he is such a smooth driver.

“Thank you, how are you?” I gave him a small smile even though he didn't see it. 

“I’m fine, but a little hungry now.” We both chuckled at what he said. 

Sooner enough, Off entered a high-end village and only pulled the car over when we arrived at their household. It was a modern mansion with a tall gate and wide parking space. He told me that we can come out now and the moment I stepped out of his car.. I felt my heart racing. 

Why does it have to be now?! 

"Good evening to you two." An old woman greeted us upon stepping inside the mansion. Off gave the woman a soft hug and eventually pulled out from her with a soft smile on his lips. The old lady turned to me next so she could also give me a hug, which I gladly accepted even when still a little confused. "Let's go this way. Dinner's about to start," she then gave me a huge smile that warmed my heart before guiding us the way. 

Now we were already heading to the dining area when I held on Off's shirt so I could get his attention. His eyes landed first on my grip before he looked up to meet my eyes with his. 

"I'm sorry but who is she? Have I met her before?" I glanced at the lady before looking back at him, eyes obviously confused and clueless. 

"Her name's Aunt Lily, our head househelper. She's been here ever since my elder sister was born. She would always take care of us and help my mom and dad in raising us." Off had a small smile on his lips while he was talking about the woman. "And no, you haven't met her until today." 

"Okay, okay," I just nodded to him before looking away, still trying to calm my racing heart down. We arrived at the dining area in no time, being welcomed by an adorable little girl who was seated on a baby's high chair that was in front of the dining table. I immediately fell in love with her, I couldn't help it anymore when my hands reached out to Off so I could ask him about the kid. 

"Off, what's her name? She's so beautiful," I can't take my eyes off the baby, adoring her beauty. 

"Her name's Khim, my niece from my elder sister." Off was just standing beside me, watching me adore the kid. 

"Have I met her before?" I asked, still not looking away. I had to stop myself so hard to not carry the little girl because she might start crying. 

"Alm-" he was cut off from speaking when a woman came in the dining area, calling out Baby Khim. The woman, who I think was in her late-20s, looks stunning on her pastel blue two-piece with a glittery white top inside, paired with white block heels. She carried the baby on her arms and was about to leave when her eyes spotted us two, which instantly stopped her. 

"Jumpol, I didn't know you already arrived." She then walked on her way to us, giving Off a cheek kiss before looking at me. "Good evening, Gun." She greeted me before also giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

How did she know my name? 

"Khim, say hello to your uncles." She said in a soft voice before holding the kid on her cheek. With that being said, Khim gave us a wai to show some respect. "Such a good girl," the woman, that I think is Off's sister and Khim's mom, kissed her on the side of her head. 

"You just got home?" Off asked which got his sister's attention. 

"A little while ago," she was carefully swirling around to which Khim finds enjoyable. "How have you been, Nong Gun?" I was again startled when she called my name for the second time. 

Have I met her before? 

"I've been well, Phi.." I couldn't remember her name so my words were hung off. Thankfully, Off decided to help me by finishing my sentence. 

"P'Anna, her name's P'Anna. She's my elder sister and Khim's mother. You.. haven't-'' he was again cut off from speaking when another woman came in, who I assumed was their mother, and a man right after her. 

Geez, when can he ever finish his words? 

"Son, you're here!" The woman in her stunning red dress went to Off with wide open arms. He hugged her back when his mother wrapped her arms around his neck, a little sighing in relief. When she pulled out from the hug, her eyes then turned to look at me. 

"Gun Atthaphan, my dear." Now it was my turn to be hugged by her. I was more of a statue than a human when she gently stroked my back like she was giving me comfort. Her hands then raised up to the back of my head so she could caress my hair. "I'm so glad you're here tonight." Her soft voice filled my right ear. 

"Happy Birthday, Ma'am." I said while awkwardly hugging her back. I didn't know how to approach everyone especially now that I don't remember much about Off Jumpol and everything related to him. 

Their mother pulled out from the hug before her hands went to caress my cheeks, her thumbs gently touching it like she had just held the most fragile one she could ever do so. I couldn't look at her because I was starting to feel overwhelmed at her reaction.. like I was her real son among Off and I. 

"Thank you so much that you came." Her soft voice immediately warmed my heart, making my cheeks feel the same heat as she continues to stare at me with dear eyes. 

"Why don't we take our seats now so we could start our dinner?" P'Anna suggested, to which everybody nodded in agreement. The birthday woman asked me if I could sit beside her, and who am I to refuse, right? 

She was seated at the corner of the long dining table, on my right side while I had Off on my left, Aunt Lily beside him. On the other side of the celebrant was her husband, P'Anna, Khim, and her father right after her. 

Dinner was good, everything tasted so premium, and it was followed by her story-telling about her kids. She also mentioned that they went to Olly just this morning to still celebrate her day with him even though he's already in heaven. Now it was gift giving time, I've never seen someone as happy as her. 

"Happy Birthday, Mom." Off had just given her the gift he prepared right after P'Anna, together with a sweet kiss on her cheek. Obviously excited and curious, her hands immediately opened the designer paper bag. It made my heart skip when I saw the way her eyes looked at the bag Off has given her. 

"Thank you so much, my son." She was, all of a sudden, teary-eyed! It was a good thing her makeup was not ruined one bit so she continued on wiping her lowkey tears from the corner of her eyes. 

"Happy Birthday, Ma'am. I hope you like it." Now it was already my turn to give her my gift. Her warm smile itself was already enough for me to know that she liked it. 

"You didn't have to buy me a gift, my dear. This is way too expensive for me." Her eyes looked at mine like she was again going to cry any moment by now. 

"That's no problem, Ma'am." I lightly shook my head before giving her a small smile, then urging her to open it now. She looked more like a 4 year-old kid opening a gift than 40. 

"Oh my goodness, they're stunning!" She stared at the stilettos for the odds know how long, with pure love and happiness in her heart, before she could even look at me. "Thank you, Gun. Thank you, my kids." And with no need of words, she placed her hand on top of her husband's before giving him a genuine smile. 

Sooner enough, dinner ended and we were all so full from the dishes, but their mother seemed too exhilarated because of my presence. After supper, she asked me if I could join her in the living room to talk about a lot of things. Off had gone somewhere with his father, he said they're going to talk about something important first before he joins us. P'Anna, her husband, and Khim, already went upstairs because the kid started whining a little while ago. 

It was only after almost half an hour before Off Jumpol came into the living room, hands hidden on his side pockets like he was trying to keep his cool. Right after him was his dad who was just calmly walking with an emotionless face. 

"Mom, Gun, excuse me.." he politely said which made the two of us look at him. His mom only made a humming sound as an answer, urging him to start talking now. "It started raining hard outside." Off moved his head to point at the direction where they came from. When his mother and I looked at the glass door, that was the only time we realized that it was already raining cats and dogs. 

I got a little startled when her hands held mine gently, making me look at her. 

"Stay here tonight,"


	15. 14

"Will you be okay here?" Off's question got my attention, making me look at him while still roaming around the guest room. Since we were left with no choice but to stay here tonight because the rain was so heavy outside, Off's family lent me a guest room to stay in. 

It was spacious, cozy, and neat-looking, everything comes in colors white, dirty white, and shades of brown. There was a glass window on one side, a small living room with a television and a couch in front of the bed, a small fridge that they filled with some food before letting me come in, and a regular-sized bed. 

"Of course, this is even way too much for a guest room." We then both chuckled. It was only after a few seconds before we heard light knocks on the door, Off gave me a curious look before opening it. And there, a pretty little princess in her pajamas came in, the adults right after her.

"Say good night now to your uncles." P'Anna told Khim in a soft voice, to which the kid gladly obliged. She went to me, so I sat to be on the same level as her, before she plotted a soft kiss on my cheek then showing me a cute smile. She did the same to Off after me, making all of us giggle because they looked adorable together when he carried her. 

"We'll get going now. Good night, you two." P'Anna said when Khim already walked back to her. She carried her daughter and waved the kid's hand to us, to which the little girl giggled. Her family gave kisses to their parents first before finally leaving the room. Now it was just me, Off, and his parents who were left in the room. 

"Have you brought some clothes with you, Gun?" Off's mother suddenly asked, and that was the only time I realized that I have nothing but these clothes that I was wearing. It must've been painted on my face so I need not to say anything more, she immediately got it. "Son, lend him some clothes." And with that being said, I turned to look at Off when he started walking out of the room after nodding to what his mom told him. "Let me just help him find some. Excuse us for a second, dear." 

Now I was left alone in the room with Off's father who had just been silent ever since we started the supper. His gazes were making me too intimidated so I couldn't look back at him, it somehow felt scary. But later on, he decided to break the reigning silence inside the room. 

"Gun Atthaphan," he uttered my name in the most serious way possible, I was immediately stunned. He surely is a little strict even just in one sight, Off was right. 

"Sir?" I had to try so hard not to let my voice break just so he would not notice that I was already getting intimidated by his presence. 

"Take care of my son." 

It was his last words to me before he exited the room, leaving me stunned and speechless about his statement. 

_ What does that suppose to mean? _

"Gun," the voice of Off's mother pulled me out from my own thoughts, making me jump a little as she went to me. "You should probably go to sleep now, I'm sure the drive on your way here was exhausting. Good night, dear." She just gently caressed my cheek before giving me a genuine smile, then finally leaving. 

Now it was just me and Off inside the room. It felt less heavier, finally. He was just standing a little far from me, roaming his eyes around the place like this was not his own home. 

"Hey," I simply called out, to which he only raised a brow without looking at me. Why did I call him anyway? I don't even have anything to say. "The clothes.." I awkwardly scratched on my nape when I remembered that he hasn't given me the clothes that I can use for tonight. 

"Oh, right," he looked down at his own hands and realized that he was still holding them, walked closer to me before handing me his clothes. "I also added a dress shirt there, you can use that tomorrow for school." He searched for that certain shirt so he could show it to me before giving a small smile, to which I only returned the same. 

"Good night," I said, trying to catch his eyes with mine. 

"Good night, Gun." Now he finally looked at me, showed off a soft smile before nodding his head, telling me that he's going now. He stopped on the door first to wave his hand to me before finally leaving, closing the door behind him. 

I decided to take a warm shower now since it's already bedtime. Off lent me his clothes so I wore it after showering, drying my hair with the bath towel from the guest room's bathroom, and finally dozing off to sleep after almost an hour and a half. 

_ "Gun, hey," I turned to look at Off when he called me after our class had just ended. "My mom liked the stuff we bought. She keeps on visiting me now to check if my place is clean, and she would always admire the newly bought things." He scoffed before massaging the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, she wants to meet you."  _

_ I was immediately dumbfounded at what he said, not getting his point and his words.  _

_ "Come again? She what?" My mouth hangs open after asking, obviously confused.  _

_ "She wants to meet you, I said." Off lazily tilted his head a little to the side, giving me a glance. "I didn't want to give in to her request at first but she won't stop bugging me unless she meets you. I don't really have any idea why." He let out a short sigh before pursing his lips, seeming a little upset about it.  _

_ "Okay, then," I simply answered with a single nod, to which Off also nodded. "When will I meet her, anyway?" I already hanged my backpack on two shoulders after I finished packing up my things.  _

_ It was the only time I realized that Off and I were the only ones left inside the room.  _

_ "She told me she'll drop by my place tonight to check if I already have some groceries, you can come meet her. That's only if you are free. If you're not, then maybe next time." He nonchalantly shrugged before looking away.  _

_ "Tonight's fine with me," I said after confirming in my head that I do not have any plans for tonight. I was even ready to go home and sleep now only until he talked to me.  _

_ "Okay, then, can you also help me buy some groceries? I still haven't bought some ever since the day we went to the mall. I always tend to forget about it. I'm not even cooking for myself at my own house in the first place so I don't get why she would always ask me to have some groceries there." He whined before brushing his hair back using his fingertips.  _

_ Geez, he didn't really have to make himself hot while whining. I will still say yes anyway..  _

_ Wait, what?  _

_ "Okay," I felt the need to nod a few times just to remove all the unwanted thoughts in my head. "And actually, I think you need to learn how to cook even some simple dishes now. You're living alone, Off. You surely wouldn't want to die because of hunger and germs."  _

_ An amused chuckle escaped from his lips before he massaged his nose bridge, also shaking his head a little.  _

_ "Oh boy, you're really starting to sound like her now." My eyes can't help but roll at what he said, but I still ended up chuckling about it. I didn't know if it's a compliment or what but I'll just take it that way.  _

_ "Let's just go now," I said with a stifled smile before walking out of the room, Off following me from behind. We only parted ways when we arrived at the parking space of the campus. He brought his motorbike while I brought my car so we drove to the mall with our own vehicles. It took me almost half an hour or so before I parked my car on the ground floor of the mall.  _

_ Off and I met at the entrance before stepping inside together, feeling the cold air condition of the place touching our bare skin. Good thing the grocery store was not that crowded at this hour so it was easy to roam around. We even had a small argument because he got so bored strolling around, finding what to buy without even knowing the standards before getting some. He was just nonchalantly putting stuff on his cart, goodness!  _

_ In the end, it was me who did the job of checking the ingredients first. I taught him how to choose different kinds of meats, vegetables and other unpacked products just so he could keep it in mind. I also told him to check the labels, expiration dates, and ingredients used for production, first before deciding whether he should buy it or not. And this guy, really.. only kept his head nodding nonstop but I don't think he's really listening.  _

_ "You seem to know a lot about this." Off suddenly commented while I was trying to find the best one from the loaves in front of me. He told me he usually eats toasted bread for breakfast, just that, so we went to the bread station.  _

_ I'm actually amused to know that he knows how to use a toaster at the very least, thank goodness to whoever invented that small machine.  _

_ "I used to buy groceries with my mom so she taught me everything I told you. And now I'm doing the grocery shopping on my own, for my own." I said without looking at him, brows furrowed with eyes surveying the bread like it had done something wrong to me.  _

_ "I see, independent kid, huh?" I turned to look at Off with my brows furrowed and tiger eyes but he only had a playful smirk on his lips, obviously enjoying teasing me. In the end, I decided to just roll my eyes and bite my lower lip to stop myself from smiling.  _

_ How would you even be mad at that guy, anyway?  _

_ It took us a few more minutes, with him still messing around, before we could finally line up on the counter. Good thing it did not take us too long before we were done, having a lot of paper bags wrapped around our arms after Off paid for everything. We stored them in my compartment because he obviously can't put them on his motorbike, before finally leaving the mall and driving on our ways to his place.  _

_ I was just following him from behind since I do not know where his place is. Sooner enough, we arrived at the parking space of his condo building. Off and I were now hugging a few paper bags on both arms on our way to the elevator. Thankfully, I still managed to press the button to open the door so we could get inside the lift, which brought us to the 14th floor where his unit is.  _

_ Off had a hard time opening the door because he was holding more bags than me, so I decided to lend him a helping hand. I was able to unlock it after only a few seconds, pushing it inwards so we could enter inside his unit. He was already groaning in pain after placing the bags on his island counter, it must've really hurted because the bags he was holding were all heavy ones.  _

_ "Your place looks nicer in person." I commented while still roaming my eyes around every corner. The curtains, indeed, made his living room look cozy and fresh. The dark brown round carpet lies underneath the coffee table in front of his couch, which makes his floor look comfortable to sit on. I'm pretty sure the clothes we bought for his bedroom will turn out fine anyway so I didn't bother checking it anymore.  _

_ "Where should I put these, Gun?" Off's question made me look at him, seeing him looking at the groceries we bought like a lost kid, which made me giggle. But I still helped him in putting the groceries to where they should be, giving him some tips about food storing. He was already storing some on his kitchen cabinets when the doorbell rang, getting both of our attention. "I'll just get that," he then excused himself before leaving the kitchen to open the door.  _

_ I didn't know why but I was, all of a sudden, hella nervous. Oh damn it, now, really?! _

_ "Gun Atthaphan," I was startled after hearing Off's voice calling me, slowly turned my back against the groceries so I could face him and his parents, before giving them a small smile. "He's the one who helped me, Mom." He simply added.  _

_ I looked at his mom and immediately noticed the resemblance they both have of each other, giving them a wai before letting out another smile. It took me a lot of courage before I could even take a few steps to go closer to them and oh goodness, I feel like I'm starting to sweat cold bullets. _

_ "Hello, Gun. Thank you for helping my son with everything." Now I was more of a statue than a human when she gave me a cheek to cheek kiss. Off was also as dumbfounded as me when she did that, but the thought of her liking me warmed my heart. "I hope you can look after Off for me. We can't always be here to check on him. Will it be all right if I ask you that?" Her eyes were hopefully looking at mine, waiting for an honest answer to hers.  _

_ "O-Of course.. Ma'am," I then gave her a reassuring smile, to which she sighed in relief. I looked at her husband and saw him giving me a few calm nods, so I also gave him a small smile. And finally, I looked at Off, seeing him massaging the bridge of his nose like he was embarrassed or what.  _

_ "Oh, did you also help him with the groceries?" She suddenly asked after a few seconds of silence, probably saw the remaining bags we still haven't finished unpacking yet.  _

_ "Yes, Ma'am," the smile on her face widened after hearing what I said, holding my hand before gently squeezing it.  _

_ "You are such a good friend to my son." She then urged me to come with her as she checked on the groceries. Off and his dad were just watching the two of us, or more like watching only her, when she checked on every storage of the kitchen. She told me she liked Off's new fabrics because it was almost the same as the ones on their own home. I didn't know how many times she had complimented me already, and she kept on asking me to continue on being a good friend to her son.  _

_ I don't know about Off but to me he is already a friend.  _

_ "We'll get going now." Off's parents only stayed for almost an hour or so before they told us that they're leaving now for a business errand. We wanted to walk them to their car but they told us that we don't really need to because we'll just get exhausted. His mother gave us cheek kisses, and we received shoulder pat from his father, before they finally left.. leaving the two of us alone inside his unit.  _

_ "Good god.. I've never felt this exhausted." Off whined the moment his parents left, falling himself down on the couch like he had just lost all of the energy he stored.  _

_ "What did you do to be that exhausted?" I teased, smirking at him although he surely can't see it.  _

_ "I don't know," he looked more like a gello than a human when he tried to shrug his shoulders, I can't help but giggle because he looked hilarious at that. "Must be grocery shopping," he then let out a heavy sigh.  _

_ "Was it your first time?" I sat on the floor a little far from him after asking.  _

_ "Yeah, it has always been my mother and Aunty Lily who does the grocery shopping. Sometimes they would bring my elder sister, too, but not me. As if I'm interested," he rolled his eyes before massaging the bridge of his nose.  _

_ Oh, maybe the reason why he feels so exhausted is because he carried a lot of paper bags from the grocery store to the parking lot, and on our way up here.  _

_ "I think I have a pain reliever here." I suddenly said when I remembered that I always bring an emergency kit with me. Off's brows furrowed when he turned sideways to see me. I told him to wait before searching for my pouch inside my backpack. When I found it, I stretched my arms out so I could give him a box of pain reliever patch. His hands slowly made its way to meet mine and eventually get it from my hold.  _

_ "Thank you, Gun." And with that, he gave me a small smile, to which I only returned with the same one. I think he was about to say something when my phone rang, which got both of our attention, receiving a call from my dearest friend New Thitipoom. I stood up and excused myself from Off before leaving the living room, leaning on the island counter in his kitchen before answering the line.  _

_ "Newwiee, hey what's up?" I casually greeted.  _

_ "Gun? Where are you right now?" Was it just me, or the connection, or did his voice really sound broken when he asked me that? I do not know.  _

_ "I'm.. I'm with my classmate, why? Is everything okay? You don't sound like the usual to me." The thought of it already made me feel uneasy. I just hope it's nothing severe or serious.  _

_ "Are you busy? Can you meet me right now? Or even after you finish your work, I can still wait. I just really need you right now, please?" The way his voice seemed so vulnerable like he was trying so hard not to let it sound too broken tears my heart into pieces.  _

_ "Where should we meet? I'll be on my way to you now, just tell me where." And so with that being said, I rushed to go back to the living room and immediately hanged my backpack on one shoulder while still waiting for his words.  _

_ "I'm here at the rooftop of my condo building."  _

_ "Oh my god, Newwiee Thitipoom! Don't you dare jump on that building or else!" My sudden outburst made Off startled, and in just a blink, he was already standing in front of me. Now my heart started racing at the thought of what I just said, and I felt my legs shaking a little in too much fright. _

_ "What?! Of course not! I was just here to have some fresh air, not to commit suicide!" New immediately defended, raising his voice a little to emphasize the words.  _

_ Goodness, I've never felt so relieved until now that he said those words to me.  _

_ "Good god, all right, I'm on my way now. Wait for me, okay?" I asked in almost authoritative words, hands inside my pocket to search for my car keys. Off was just beside me, listening without even being noticed. I was so focused on Newwiee that I almost forgot that this is Off's place.  _

_ "I will. Drive safe, Gun." We hung up the call after that. I was still dumbfounded, brought by the shock I had a little while ago, so I almost didn't notice that Off was asking me something. _

_ "Is everything okay with New?" He simply asked, but there was no hint of worry seen on his face.  _

_ "I still.. I still don't know, but he doesn't sound good to me." I answered, couldn't look at him because I still feel a little lost, I just do not know why. "I need to go now," and wanting to waste no second, I immediately began running my way out of his unit to reach the elevator in no time. But such a good timing, really! The lift was taking too long to arrive, damn it!  _

_ "Gun," I was a little jumpy when I heard Off's voice calling me. When I turned right, I saw him standing upright with his hands kept on his side pockets. He then stood a little far from me before speaking. "Do you think this is about Tay?"  _

_ My lips parted a little in confusion when he asked me that. I didn't know whether it really just makes sense or maybe I just really don't have any idea about Newwiee's problem, but it made me wonder. It really does make sense.  _

_ When I was just about to answer, the door suddenly opened, revealing the elevator girl who immediately looked at me upon the opening of the door.  _

_ "You should go now," Off tilted his head a little to the side to gesture to me the lift. "Newwiee needs you," and his words served as a call for me to gather all my senses back, making me realize that he was right.  _

_ "I'm sorry I really have to go now." I told him, to which Off just pursed his lips and nodded. And so with that, I immediately went inside the lift and asked the girl to press the lobby. He had already disappeared from my sight even before the door closed, probably went back to his unit by now.  _

_ Sooner enough, I was able to arrive at Newwiee's condo building not more than after 20 minutes. I ran to get inside and immediately pressed the elevator door to open, to which it really did after only a second. The lift on my way up to the rooftop experienced no hindrances, nobody used the elevator except me. As soon as the door opened, it revealed my dearest friend who was leaning his elbows on the rock fence, looking at the city down there but is probably lost in his own thoughts.  _

_ I went to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, which got him in surprise, but it only lasted for a second because I was already wrapped around his arms through the sides on the next one. He even sniffed a little on my hair, making me giggle because it somehow tickles me, before releasing me out from the hug. Now we were both leaning on the rock, watching the busy Bangkok at night but probably with no thoughts of it at all.  _

_ "So.. what happened?" I felt the need to ask it now because the thought of him not totally okay is somehow suffocating me. This is not just for New, I also feel this way for my other friends.  _

_ "Tawan asked me to be his boyfriend."  _

Three light knocks from the door woke me up from my sleep, seeing from the window that the sun was still sleeping, before I got up to get the door. As soon as I opened it, I saw a fresh-looking tall man standing in front of me with his soft smile. I didn't know someone still on his pajamas would look this good.. and handsome. 

_ What a great morning, it is. _

"Good morning, Gun. I'm sorry I had to wake you up this early, we have to go back to the city now." Off glanced at the window, probably to tell what hour it is still, before scratching on his nape. "But we're going to have breakfast first so we can go straight to the campus when we arrive there." He used his thumb to point at the staircase when he mentioned having breakfast first. 

"Good morning, Off. No it's okay, thank you for waking me up." I returned the same smile to him, to which he only nodded. "I'll just take a shower then will be down there right after preparing. Is it okay?" I had to look away from Off when I yawned, wiped the corners of my eyes before facing him again only to see him stifling a smile. "Why?" 

"Nothing, really. You should probably take a shower now, take your time. I also need some time to prepare anyway." He then nodded before waving his hand a little, telling me that he's going now. I just waved my hand back before seeing him off, closing the door when he had disappeared from my sight and leaning my back on it to feel my racing heart. 

_ Hey.. calm down, will you? It's still too early to race like that.  _

And when it did not, I decided to just take a shower now so I could prepare myself already. It took me almost half an hour before I went out, drying my hair with the towel I got from the bathroom with my jeans on now. It was Off's plain white dress shirt that I wore on top, having only short sleeves that almost reached my elbows. Sooner enough, I finally went out of the room after fixing everything I used, putting it back to where they all belong. 

Off was already at the dining area when I arrived, helping Aunt Lily on serving the food on the table. When he saw me, a cute smile immediately formed on his lips. 

"Good morning, Gun." She sweetly said, giving me a genuine smile. Off's eyes followed her as she went closer to the dining table and placed a platter of fried rice there. 

"Good morning, Ma'am." I even bowed a little to pay some respect, to which he only smiled wider. When she went back to the kitchen, my eyes landed on Off Jumpol who was already urging me to take a seat on the chair he pulled back. The sudden gesture got me in surprise, but I didn't want to show him that so I decided to just give him a small smile to show my gratitude before gladly taking my seat there. 

"Join us, please," I stood up and politely invited Aunt Lily when she entered the room again, now holding a pitcher of warm milk that Off immediately took to help her place it on the table. But she only gave me a warm smile, gently patting my shoulder before chuckling a little which made my heart skip a beat. 

"No, son, I already ate. Off made me taste everything he cooked for today's breakfast so I'm already full." She glanced at Off upon mentioning the guy's name, so I also did, only to see him busy arranging everything on top of the table. 

"I didn't know he can cook." My thoughts were uttered out unconsciously while I was watching him, which made Aunt Lily hear what I just said. 

"Oh no, dear, he can't really cook. Tell you what, the kitchen is a foreign place for that kid, he's scared of it." Both amusement and contentment can be seen from her face, and her voice sounded like a proud mother watching her son achieve something precious in his life. I wanted to ask more about Off but speaking of the slacker, he suddenly called out my name, which got me a little jumpy. 

"You need to have breakfast now, son. The drive on your way back to the city will be long so you can't go with an empty stomach." She lightly pinched my chin before telling Off that she'll just be at the kitchen if we need her, and then she left. When I went back to my seat, it was the only time I realized that Off cooked a lot for breakfast. 

There were toasted breads, bacon strips, sunny side up eggs, omelette, sausages, and fried rice.

_ Why would he even bother to cook this much if it's just the two of us who'll eat?  _

"I'm sorry they look disastrous, but I swear they're edible.. well, that's what Aunt Lily told me." Off's awkward chuckle pulled me from my own thoughts, making me look at him, only to see his adorable way of shyly scratching on his nape while avoiding my gazes. "Or would you prefer cereals instead? I can-" he was about to take a step on his way back to the kitchen when I giggled, which made me stunned. 

"Calm down, Off." I then gave him a genuine smile. "Thank you, these are more than enough. Why don't you take your seat now and come join me for this breakfast?" I reached my hand out and pointed to the seat in front of me, urging him to take it now, to which he slowly did. 

We only started eating after exchanging small smiles with each other. Everything tasted so good I ended up having each of them on my plate. In my mind, I was already imagining Off inside the kitchen, it must've been an adorable sight to see.. and disastrous, maybe? I had to bite my lower lip and chew everything inside my mouth slowly just to hide my smiles that had been trying to show off ever since we started our breakfast. 

Sooner enough, we finished our meals and washed the dishes afterwards, kept the leftovers for a while because they can still have it later anyway. Off told me that his parents left early for an errand so they couldn't see us off. P'Anna and her husband are still probably asleep so we decided not to wake them up anymore even though I wanted so bad to see Khim before we go. In the end, it was only Aunt Lily who sent us off, giving us cheek kisses and small hugs before letting us go inside the car. 

The sky was already starting to light up when Off started the engine, maneuvering it on our way back to the city. Although my eyelids were demanding me to let them down now, I fought so hard not to. Off was probably still sleepy and I didn't want to make him feel lonely if I sleep so I decided to sit only straight, it will lessen my drowsiness. He only gave me a single glance before focusing back on his driving. 

"Can I play some music?" I suddenly asked when I realized that the deafening silence only adds up to the drowsiness I was trying to kill. A single nod with a small smile was his only answer to me. And so with that, I connected my phone on the bluetooth device of his car and decided not to raise the volume because it may distract him. I shuffle played it and the first song was one of my favorites.. Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5. 

Good thing I got hyped up by the song, grooving with the beat as we continued on our way back to Bangkok. Off's hands caught my attention when I saw it tapping the steering wheel along with the beat, which made me stifle a smile because of an unknown reason so I had to look away. Now I couldn't get my eyes off the sky when I realized that the sun was starting to show its light, painting the blue sky with a hint of orange. 

The morning was so beautiful I ended up leaning on the window and watching it as the sun starts to show off little by little. I didn't realize how long I had been staring only until I heard the song playing, I also did not have any idea how many songs had slipped anymore. 

"Oh, this one's a great song," I told him upon hearing Still Into You by Paramore from the stereo, to which he only glanced at me so he could give me a small smile. I ended up singing with it and gladly, I finally felt completely awake. 

The drive on our way back was filled with jamming songs and short random conversations. It was only stopped when my eyes had a glimpse of the sunrise.. which got me breathless. 

The sky was so breathtaking I suddenly felt excited while staring at it. 

Off's soft chuckle was the only one who pulled me out from admiring the view, and when I turned to look at him.. 

Wow.. he was also stunning. 

"Why?" I asked in confusion, to which he only glanced before shaking his head a little as an answer. Now I can't help but pout when curiosity reigned on me yet he won't feed it, how unfair! 

But this man, really.. he still chuckled before saying something. 

"You have the same smile as the sunrise." 


End file.
